[Equackasous]

1. No, it's not wrong to feel pissed off.
2. The path of least resistance is to suck it up and go to the funeral. A few unpleasant hours and it's over and you don't have to deal with it ever again. Don't go, you'll have the potential headaches of your SO's best friend *****ing about it, your SO being pissed at you for not supporting his friend, etc.

EDIT: I don't see this as a moral quandary in the slightest. It's neither moral nor immoral to attend a funeral...

[popillio]

I'll add that if your SO is okay with you skipping it and doesn't care what his best friend thinks, that's another matter. Then you can just not go, and see if your SO is willing to conspire on an excuse as to your not being there.

[huylibizonoff]

Your SO may well appreciate your presence for some emotional support. Seeing a best friend distraught is tough.

Christ. Well who do I bring to support me? How far does this chain go?

Human beings are weird.

[romalama]

My SO is now telling me not to worry about it. I think I'm in some trap now.

Is your SO not the type to be able to give a straight up YES/NO answer if you were to ask him point-blank, "Do you want me to go with you?"

I realize the path of least resistance is just to go. But frankly I think I'm just going to be an ******* and not go. If there's no morally right thing to do, I'm in the clear. That may be little comfort if you have to endure the wrath of your SO's best friend (and maybe his if he's not being forthright) by not going.

And maybe by going you'll score some brownie points and get some extra-special sex out of it?

[EzekelEnzino]

I just asked the SO if I was in a trap and he'll be mad at me for not going.

Now he's "ordering" me not to go. I'm still not convinced this isn't a trap.

[AAAESLLESO]

Yeah that sounds like "I'll be pissed at you for not going, but I'm not going to tell you that."

Your SO is acting like a woman.

Yes, I think that's likely. "Hey, wasn't that a FABULOUS funeral? Let's shag, baby" This may be much more common than you realize...

[Eromereorybig]

Oh, I'm too late.

Still, nice to know I was right.

[Tam04xa]

chaz reinhold once said that grief was a powerful aphrodisiac.

[Evoncalabbalo]

Compromise. Say you won't go, then crash the funeral while drunk.

From what I understand, I think the guy may've liked that. The more I hear about him the more ****ed up his life seems.

Turns out his parents were devout Catholics and he was "bisexual" (read: gay). Had a lot of tattoos and piercings in recent years also and was getting into drugs and booze. Pretty much a textbook case of self-loathing brought on by being raised by Catholic parents.

[SkapySisy]

If only I had studied philosophy. I have a moral quandary.

My SO's best friend's friend killed himself the other day. He operated in a different socially circle than my SO and they'd only met a couple times (most recently a month ago when he came by the condo to play some video games, and drank some of my scotch [I'm still bitter about that, actually]). The SO and his best friend went to school with him for 1 year in engineering before he transferred to compsci. The SO's best friend still hung out with him, etc but not my SO.

So anyway, now the guy is dead. Drama, etc. My SO's best friend is going, of course, and so is my SO (mostly to support his best friend, who isn't taking it well). I was told today via facebook, by my SO's best friend, that I am "expected to be at the funeral also". I'm kinda done with funerals for a while (buried two grandparents within the past few months) and I didn't even know this guy, and more importantly it's 10am on a Sunday (and I don't get up til 1 or so).

First of all, is it wrong for me to feel pissed off that my SO's best friend "expects" me to be at a funeral for a guy I've never even met? (this is why I avoid female friends, FWIW)

Second of all, how do I tell her to **** off without causing her to jump off a building? She's in rough shape. Should I just not go and hope she doesn't notice?

Tell her you've buried two grandparents in the past few months, and if she knows what is good for her, you won't have to bury a third person, namely her.

[heltduell]

I wouldn't have gone.