[expiclefich]

Reading recent Craigslist ads has compelled me to sell my other computer. I'm offering it to the Onions first. Please remember, I am obligated to honour the first PM willing to meet my asking price. My apologies beforehand to all Onions who are not able to PM me quickly enough with their offers. I appreciate your interest, but I must remain fair and just.

***HAND-BUILT 3D GAMING SYSTEM***

19" ATX tower case with 4 expansion bays and original (matching) 300 watt (true) PSU. Paid $60.
Asus A7V DELUXE motherboard. This is the deluxe board, people. Lots of included software worth additional hundreds of $$$. No need to waste time downloading Acrobat 4.0 or Norton Antivirus 2000 - they're both included at no additional cost. Paid $220
AMD Duron 800. Every bit as powerful as the Athlons, which are still on the market today. Paid $180. L2 cache never meant a thing. Just read what John Carmack had to say about the usefulness of L2 cache: "...many of the things that they argue..., those are really bogus arguments because you could do similar things with [-out L2 cache]." - John Carmack 2009
ATi Radeon 8500. The most powerful DX8 card of all time. Ti4x00 cards don't count because they came out after the 8500. With the majority of gaming titles still using DX8 elements, this card automatically becomes the most powerful gaming card available. Includes the original Catalyst 3.2 drivers. No need to download any of those revised Catalyst drivers that have emerged over the past 7 years - each version is more and more degraded and will never be as good as the original. Paid $425
Maxtor 60GB ATA/133. No, that's not a typo. ATA/133! A full 33% faster than the Seagate and Western Digital counterparts. Programs such as Notepad and Paint will literally open as quickly as you can let go of your mouse. Paid $220
2x Mushkin PC150 128MB. Regardless of your motherboard's chipset, this blazing SDRAM will enable you to push your FSB into the 170 Mhz range. If you apply the DDR lie, you're looking at 340 Mhz! Both sticks come with copper-painted aluminum heatsinks. Paid $440 for the set, plus $40 for the heatsinks.
Plextor 16x16x40. Who needs DVDs or BDs when you have the fastest, most trust-worthy CDRW of all time? It weighs over 4 pounds. BD burners weigh about 2 pounds. That's a full two pounds of extra hardware in the Plextor. Hardware = love. Paid $385
Sound Blaster Live! 4.1. They couldn't call it Quadrophonic sound due to copyright laws and a stern letter from The Who, but that's what you're getting. Regardless of your speakers, you'll enjoy more volume than Pete Townshend's stacked Marshalls. I hope you don't mind being deaf after a year of use! Oh, and did I mention extras? How about a line-in port and an impressive software bundle that allows you to change your voice to sound like a kidnapper or your sister... or an alien! Paid $80
3Com 10/100/1000 NIC. Automatically cruise the entire Internet at 1000 Mb/sec. I hope you brought your racing gloves! Paid $150.
Windows 98SE Full Version. Yes, the most stable operating system of all time. Easily download all the extras they included in XP, Vista, and 7 just to call them new and improved. Microsoft stopped supporting Windows 98 because it was perfect. They couldn't improve any further. Why use anything else? Paid $500
Microsoft Office Professional 2000. The most complete office suite of all time. Don't trust that cloud stuff or freeware that's littered with viruses that will steal your credit information and make your penis smaller. Paid $800

No monitor, keyboard, mouse, or speakers included. No software installed. Not all PCI slots guaranteed to work. USB ports may appear to be physically damaged, but component plugs can be held in place with the correct amount of scotch tape. 40-pin IDE cables personally 'rounded' at no additional cost, but not guaranteed to work correctly. CPU fan starting to show signs of wear, but idles safely at 78c.

Paid $3500 CND. SACRIFICE AT $2850 USD!!! Hurry!

[Nutpoode]

What a steal! Someone snatch that up!!
________
CANNABIS SEEDS

[itsmycock]

Do you take Paypal?

[ingeneensueva]

Will this Rig handle Crysis at a decent framerate ?

[sleelverrex]

How much porn is on it?

[cialesxtr]

Does it come with lighter fluid so you can set it on fire as soon as the postman drops it off?

[opergolon]

Oh man, I've been using openoffice for a while, hope my penis hasn't shrunk

[PhillipHer]

ATi Radeon 8500. The most powerful DX8 card of all time. Ti4x00 cards don't count because they came out after the 8500 Who's selling this card again? Bastian?

[b7RKli4l]

Am satisfied with the price and condition of the item. I will like to make an outright purchase of the item. I am out of town on a business trip, so i will like to proceed in issuing out a certified check to you and upon the confirmation and clearance of payment, my mover will come for the pick-up at your location. So get back to me with your full name, mailing address, zip code and phone number so that payment can be mail out asap. hope to read from you soon.


NOTE: I'm going to wait until you cash the check in ur bank before the pick up arrangement will be taking place and i want you to be honest with me concerning the transaction B'cos i will like to tell you that the payment will be in excess amount so as to cover shipping fees and immediately you get the check cashed, you're to deduct actual money for the cost of your item and send the remaining funds to the shipper for pick up of the item at Ur location OK?. just get back to me as soon as possible so that i can know if am to send you the check????




PS. The above is an actual email i got for my last craigslist item, I gave her the white house address to send the check to

[expiclefich]

Am satisfied with the price and condition of the item. I will like to make an outright purchase of the item. I am out of town on a business trip, so i will like to proceed in issuing out a certified check to you and upon the confirmation and clearance of payment, my mover will come for the pick-up at your location. So get back to me with your full name, mailing address, zip code and phone number so that payment can be mail out asap. hope to read from you soon.


NOTE: I'm going to wait until you cash the check in ur bank before the pick up arrangement will be taking place and i want you to be honest with me concerning the transaction B'cos i will like to tell you that the payment will be in excess amount so as to cover shipping fees and immediately you get the check cashed, you're to deduct actual money for the cost of your item and send the remaining funds to the shipper for pick up of the item at Ur location OK?. just get back to me as soon as possible so that i can know if am to send you the check????




PS. The above is an actual email i got for my last craigslist item, I gave her the white house address to send the check to

I've read that one before a couple times. Classic.