[RayFairhurst]

OK I think I can explain it better. I often would say "that's interesting" and just stare for few seconds while .... and then kind of deconstructing it. I like to take discussions and things into meta level, so I do that. I try to get to the bottom of it and explain out loud what I'm thinking, so it seems logical. As in "It's interesting that you'd say that.... the other day you mentioned briefly about blaablaablaa so I think this bothers you. Does this bother you? You've mentioned it on different occasions, have you noticed? It's OK though.... What do I think about it? Well what do you think about it? I think you want to talk about it but you just wanted to test the ice first if it's OK... of course it's OK, go on, how does it make you feel?". So the way I see it, I'm becoming like a trusted shrink here, and I would betray her because at some point it's obvious I'm just me. Notice, we haven't discussed mental problems . But the way I talk is kind of trust enabling, and that's betraying in a way because I'm not an authority, I'm not in the position to be trusted... like I'm not a shrink. That kind of stuff should be between a person and their shrink, not between them and myself. THAT is the problem. And htat's the dependency thing I said earlier.

Betrayal also in a way that I might be manipulative in a way because I might go "and this makes you feel uncertain about blahblah and insecure because blahblah"... because I think I could say jus tabout anything and actually convince in subtle ways how to feel about things. You get it? Uhm, difficult to explain, but it's... there's responsibility, I don't really know what goes on in the heads of other people, but I can usually tell them what goes on and they might think it's exactly what was going on in their heads. I mean I find it rather easy to make people misinterpret themselves.

[trowUrillioth]

It's a her.

Get her fired.

[Zenunlild]

bone her hard. its yours for the taking Pekka!

YOU ARE THE SUPERCITIZEN!! YOU ARE PEKKA! TAKE HER AND MAKE HER YOURS!!

and this definitaly calls for the traditional

[Zarekylin75]

Originally posted by Pekka
Wezil, nope. I need her information plus she's good at what she does. Plus, she hasn't done anything wrong . But she's clearly not worth the mental anguish she is causing you.

Actually, the more I think on it the more I'm inclined to go with Riesstiu's suggestion. Don't kill her though. That would be too personal and as I understand it, getting too personal is part of the problem.

Have her killed.

[inhitoemits]

OMG Pekka i cannot believe this. you have a chance to mold this girl to do whatever you want, bone her, use her, whatever you want.

this is not the Pekka i have come to know

[forebirdo]

I couldn't do that because I respect this person.

OK here's an example of a possible difficult problem. Let's say I sense some problems and I ask what's the matter and something happened in her personal life. "My boyfriend.." OK. I think I have a considerable responsibility, becuase I can make it both ways. I can either take her side or try to convince on some meta level that he's a good guy and this will work out at the end. First of all, all I don't know the guy, so I might be talking on his favour OR I could talk against him and he's actually a good guy. I wouldn't of course say "you need to find someone else" or "it'll be ok", but no matter what I'd say, it would give her an idea that she woudl think is her own belief or thought on how to view this istuation and that affects the personal life of two people.

I don't want that kind of responsibility. It would be extremely unethical IMO. But how would I handle that situation? By saying shut up? This is one example of a difficult istuation where my opinion might play a part in persona life that is not mine.

[thegamexpertsdotcom]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA

ELIZA is a computer program by Joseph Weizenbaum, designed in 1966, which parodied a Rogerian therapist, largely by rephrasing many of the patient's statements as questions and posing them to the patient. Thus, for example, the response to "My head hurts" might be "Why do you say your head hurts?" The response to "My mother hates me" might be "Who else in your family hates you?"

[usaguedriedax]

How does that fact make you feel?

[amehoubFomo]

We've offered good advice, you just aren't taking it.

[Clarissa]

That mouse was in my butt once.

[Gogogo]

She is your friend. Be sincere and honest, and yes, responsible for her sake.

[casinobonbone]

post a pic of her