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Old 11-30-2011, 01:08 PM   #21
beckercpa

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I was waiting for Shaikh Abu Tamim Damatbarkatuhu 'Aliya's response. But that we can still wait for that. The discipline in which I have got my training is such that all of unnecessary formality is thrown out of our dealings. People are mostly anti-feudal in my discipline. Of course it is a good thing to show due respect to people.
Wassalam
PS: Of course in matters of English I am a perpetual student. (And perhaps in every discipline of life!) And finally was it one time visit by Shaikh Irafi?
And this is my response: At St. Josephs freshers day 2003: “No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police”
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:56 PM   #22
beckercpa

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and now a funny "love letter"

To,


Juliet Grade 7.0 S.M


Sub: Offer of love!


Dearest Ms Juliet,


I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as prospective lover.


Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months
and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.


The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially
be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger! share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.


I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this
letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further
notice and I shall be considering someone else.


I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister,
if you do not wish to take up this offer.


Wish you all the best!!!!


Thanking you in anticipation,


Regards,
XYZ
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Old 12-01-2011, 03:28 PM   #23
indahouweres

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Haza Halaal?
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Old 12-01-2011, 03:30 PM   #24
VitaliyMurnov

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Assalamu alaykum

Keep a watch on the instrument, the assistant removed his wrist watch and kept it on the instrument. Practical joke.
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Old 12-01-2011, 04:27 PM   #25
DarrenBent

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and a Physics teacher once went.." Draw a straaaaight curve..."

another asked a sunniformer.. why are there no Mosquitos in Dubai..? 'Coz they dont have passport ' replied the student..
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Old 12-02-2011, 01:03 PM   #26
beckercpa

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Haza Halaal?
What's halaal?
The love letter?
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Old 12-02-2011, 01:41 PM   #27
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1) Sign outside a Hotel during the BIRD FLU epedimic.

" NO BIRD FLEW IN INDIA "

2) Remark by a Teacher .

" YOU IDIOTS STAND UP........ . COME ON .. LETS ALL GO OUT. "
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Old 12-03-2011, 12:11 AM   #28
Efksqhyu

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Assalamualikum

'Hal Haza Halalun?' is a hint for understanding the sentence given at the end.
I want a reply in 'Yes' or 'No'.
A man went to a hotel and ordered soup.When the glass of soup was brought,the customer found a fly in it and showed it to the waiter.The matter is reported in the below given sentence. A very important and basic rule of English language can be learnt from the below given sentence.

''The customer showed the fly to the waiter which he found in the glass of soup.''
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Old 12-03-2011, 02:39 AM   #29
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If you guys get a kick out of this kind of thing, you'll love http://www.engrish.com/

Careful; the website has some pictures of women.

The Chinese/Japanese are worse than the Desis when it comes to English.

However, before we laugh too much at these people's expense, we should ask ourselves (especially those of us who are native English speakers), can we communicate in their language any better?

nokia-connocting-poopie.jpg
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Old 12-03-2011, 09:49 AM   #30
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''The customer showed the fly to the waiter which he found in the glass of soup.''
Missed it Masoodi Sahab! Will you be so kind to clarify?
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Old 12-03-2011, 04:33 PM   #31
beckercpa

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Actual ads for brides from shaadi website:

"i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok"

"i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast"


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Old 12-05-2011, 12:26 AM   #32
Efksqhyu

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Assalamualikum,



''The customer showed the fly to the waiter which he found in the glass of soup.''

The above given sentence ,in fact ,contains a blunder which is very clear to the people who know a basic rule of English language.

Let me explain: the customer found a fly in the soup and showed it to the waiter.This is what the writer wants to convey. But this not what he conveys.what the sentence means is not what the writer wants it should mean.
The sentence means that the customer found the waiter in the glass of soup:
....... the waiter which he found in the glass of soup soup

he should have written :

The customer showed the waityer the fly which he found in the glass of soup.

''.....the fly which he found in the glass of soup'' conveys the meaning which the writer intnded to convey but
could not.

Now the rule:
Always place the adjectival clause closest the the noun which it qualifies.

''.....Which he found in the soup '' is an adjectival clause.

If you place it close to the noun fly it will become:
''The fly which he found in the soup'' meaning that the fly was found in the soup.
It is possible to find a fly in a glass of soup.


If you place it close to the noun waiter it will become:
''The waiter which he found in the soup'' meaning that the waiter was found in the soup.
Just imagine what happens to the meaning.Only an idiot can say that a waiter was found in a glass of soup.

I am away from home and am not able to quote the blunder committed by Jenab Wahiduddin Khan. I informed them through an e-mail but they did not respond.I will cite the quote when I get back home-Inshallah.
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:58 AM   #33
indahouweres

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Assalamualikum,



''The customer showed the fly to the waiter which he found in the glass of soup.''

The above given sentence ,in fact ,contains a blunder which is very clear to the people who know a basic rule of English language.

Let me explain: the customer found a fly in the soup and showed it to the waiter.This is what the writer wants to convey. But this not what he conveys.what the sentence means is not what the writer wants it should mean.
The sentence means that the customer found the waiter in the glass of soup:
....... the waiter which he found in the glass of soup soup

he should have written :

The customer showed the waityer the fly which he found in the glass of soup.

''.....the fly which he found in the glass of soup'' conveys the meaning which the writer intnded to convey but
could not.

Now the rule:
Always place the adjectival clause closest the the noun which it qualifies.

''.....Which he found in the soup '' is an adjectival clause.

If you place it close to the noun fly it will become:
''The fly which he found in the soup'' meaning that the fly was found in the soup.
It is possible to find a fly in a glass of soup.


If you place it close to the noun waiter it will become:
''The waiter which he found in the soup'' meaning that the waiter was found in the soup.
Just imagine what happens to the meaning.Only an idiot can say that a waiter was found in a glass of soup.

I am away from home and am not able to quote the blunder committed by Jenab Wahiduddin Khan. I informed them through an e-mail but they did not respond.I will cite the quote when I get back home-Inshallah.

Janab Masoodi Sahab,
This is exactly the type of activity I was wishing for. and please continue.
And yes I sort of suspected that this might be the mistake but one can be sure and assertive about these things only if it is sort of your way of life. This is what should happen, IA, as a result of this activity.

I shall, IA, begin a new thread for this and let us go there for serious matters and leave the present thread dedicated to humour.
Wassalam

PS: The new thread is here.
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:28 PM   #34
nickayary

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Hey shoeb bhai..assalaamualaikum... Thanks for this 8110-010_apex_black.jpg


You might have remember this?

Shoaib bhai,
Yes i recollected that stuff.
Apology for belated reply. Inshallah we'll meet soon in december or jan.

Lets all benefit from Brother Rafi in improving our Hinglish.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:53 PM   #35
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Not on topic but the most suitable thread to post in...



A Letter from an Arkansas mother to her Arkansas son:

Dear Willie,
I’m writing this real slow cause I know you can’t read very fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left. Your daddy read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

I won’t be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers off the house with them for their next house so they wouldn’t have to Change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain and I ain’t seen them since.

It only rained twice this week. Three days the first time and four days the second time.

You know the coat you wanted me to send you? Well, Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home today. They said if we don’t make the last payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes again.

Your sister had a baby this morning. ain’t heard whether it’s a boy or girl, so I don’t know if you’re a uncle or an Aunt.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn’t get the tailgate down.

There’s not much news this time, nothing much has happened.

With love.
From mama.
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Old 12-06-2011, 10:09 PM   #36
penpizdes

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anyone else finds LOL cats funny?

some of the best:
'i can has poland' (no points in guessing who is being satired here)
'i has a sad'
and ofcourse
'can i has cheeseburger?'
: P
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Old 12-07-2011, 11:49 AM   #37
beckercpa

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Not on topic but the most suitable thread to post in...



A Letter from an Arkansas mother to her Arkansas son:

Dear Willie,
Iím writing this real slow cause I know you canít read very fast.

We donít live where we did when you left. Your daddy read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

I wonít be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers off the house with them for their next house so they wouldnít have to Change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain and I ainít seen them since.

It only rained twice this week. Three days the first time and four days the second time.

You know the coat you wanted me to send you? Well, Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home today. They said if we donít make the last payment on Grandmaís funeral bill, up she comes again.

Your sister had a baby this morning. ainít heard whether itís a boy or girl, so I donít know if youíre a uncle or an Aunt.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldnít get the tailgate down.

Thereís not much news this time, nothing much has happened.

With love.
From mama.
This is hilarious.
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Old 12-08-2011, 12:15 PM   #38
beckercpa

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Herbert A. Millington
Chair Ė Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitsonís outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

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Old 12-11-2011, 08:04 PM   #39
beckercpa

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A student's leave letter:
"As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...."
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Old 12-11-2011, 08:40 PM   #40
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Gul Khan arrange a treat for friends on receiving appointment letter. He read the letter with translation in the party as..

"Dear Gul Khan, (Piyare Gul Khan), you do not meet (aap to milte hi naheen) our requirements (hamari zarurat hain aap). No further correspondence (hamen mazeed tang na karen(foran aajaen)) will be entertained( aap ki bohat khatir madarat ki jaegi)
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