[beckercpa]

http://drabutamim.blogspot.com/2011/...lications.html

[indahouweres]

These were cute.
My only worry is that some deep people might quip And the Tawangar company nodes sagely.

[Fiesialenp]

lol those were funny : )

[beckercpa]

lol those were funny : )

Yes. Very Indian English. We see this kind of language very commonly in India, for eg: Both of you three come here together, one by one.

[Fiesialenp]

Both of you three come here together, one by one.

HAHAHAHA!! Laughing Out Loud, I have to share this one

[penpizdes]

haha. reminds me of good times:
'go and understand the tree'
' close the windows or the air force will come in'
' both of you three go stand in a corner'
' i have a headache in my stomach'

[erepsysoulpfbs]

Our teacher once said

if you don't beat me , i'll beat you

he meant 'keep quiet'

[Efksqhyu]

Assalamualikum

I have been involved in handling leave applications for more than 40 years both as a teacher of English and as an administrator.I have come across very funny applications but none as funny as the ones recorded by you.
I am all alone in my room and i could not control my guffaw's.
Superb collection.This is very good material for any researcher of language. Thers are many valid things for students of language in these examples.
This is what is how urdu is massacred in this part of the world.

Wonderful collection.



I am posting all these on my facebook page.

[nickayary]

Few example of killing english :

LIBRARIAN SCOLDED," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN, I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code...

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class,

“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away" ……



Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls’ hostel pulling cigarette...? "

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Class teacher once said :

“Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Once Hindi teacher said...."I’m going out of the world to America...”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK...”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Don’t laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said

“why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Teacher in a furious mood...

Write down your name and father of your name!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"Will you hang that calendar or else I’ll HANG MYSELF"

************ ********* ********* ************ *
I have two daughters and both of them are girls

[WournGona]

Hey shoeb bhai..assalaamualaikum... Thanks for this 8110-010_apex_black.jpg


You might have remember this?

[beckercpa]

Few example of killing english :

LIBRARIAN SCOLDED," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN, I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code...

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class,

“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away" ……



Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls’ hostel pulling cigarette...? "

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Class teacher once said :

“Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Once Hindi teacher said...."I’m going out of the world to America...”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK...”

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Don’t laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said

“why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Teacher in a furious mood...

Write down your name and father of your name!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"Will you hang that calendar or else I’ll HANG MYSELF"

************ ********* ********* ************ *
I have two daughters and both of them are girls

That was really funny akh shoaib.

[indahouweres]

Assalamualikum

I have been involved in handling leave applications for more than 40 years both as a teacher of English ...

The home work for you, Sir, is that everyday you should present analysis of a linguistic mistake committed here at SF by us.
Wassalam

[beckercpa]

http://drabutamim.blogspot.com/2011/...-couplets.html

[beckercpa]

The home work for you, Sir, is that everyday you should present analysis of a linguistic mistake committed here at SF by us.
Wassalam

Is this the way that you speak to someone who has 40 years behind him as a teacher of English, Sir?

[indahouweres]

Is this the way that you speak to someone who has 40 years behind him as a teacher of English, Sir?

It will be of no consequence to speak that to a person who has only four years of experience.
Just kidding.
So let be try to do it in a better way.

Respected Masoodi Rafi Sir,
I, on behalf of the users of Sunni Forum, request you to pay your kind attention to the under mentioned activity. It will be very kind and nice of you if you could spare a little bit of your valuable time to help in improving our language and maintain the linguistic standards of Sunni Forum. In this context it would be helpful if you could pick up some post and point out the linguistic problem and analyze it and present the solution for our benefit. One point per day will be enough for us and I also hope that it shall not be too taxing to your honourable self. I apologize for any inconvenience caused to you by this out of a blue demand on your precious temporal and intellectual resources. I am positive that you will kindly give this request your very serious and very king consideration. I, and I am sure other Sunni Forum users too, shall be much obliged by your gracious consideration. Hoping for a positive response, Sir, I remain, yours sincerely, ...

[QiuCIOdO]

Asl wrwb.
After reading so many of your posts, I am sure you can also qualify for the below mentioned checking required at SF ...
Do we also need to write the request formally for you to accept ?

It will be of no consequence to speak that to a person who has only four years of experience.
Just kidding.
So let be try to do it in a better way.

Respected Masood Irafi Sir,
I, on behalf of the users of Sunni Forum, request you to pay your kind attention to the under mentioned activity. It will be very kind and nice of you if you could spare a little bit of your valuable time to help in improving our language and maintain the linguistic standards of Sunni Forum. In this context it would be helpful if you could pick up some post and point out the linguistic problem and analyze it and present the solution for our benefit. One point per day will be enough for us and I also hope that it shall not be too taxing to your honourable self. I apologize for any inconvenience caused to you by this out of a blue demand on your precious temporal and intellectual resources. I am positive that you will kindly give this request your very serious and very king consideration. I, and I am sure other Sunni Forum users too, shall be much obliged by your gracious consideration. Hoping for a positive response, Sir, I remain, yours sincerely, ...

[indahouweres]

Asl wrwb.
After reading so many of your posts, I am sure you can also qualify for the below mentioned checking required at SF ...
Do we also need to write the request formally for you to accept ?

I was waiting for Shaikh Abu Tamim Damatbarkatuhu 'Aliya's response. But that we can still wait for that. The discipline in which I have got my training is such that all of unnecessary formality is thrown out of our dealings. People are mostly anti-feudal in my discipline. Of course it is a good thing to show due respect to people.
Wassalam
PS: Of course in matters of English I am a perpetual student. (And perhaps in every discipline of life!) And finally was it one time visit by Shaikh Irafi?

[Efksqhyu]

Assalamualikum
Sir,
I would like to clarify that I am on the forum as a learner and am junior to most of the members.So,I consider all of the senior members as my teachers.I am junior to you by thousands of posts,sir and you can address me in any style you like.
You are welcome and I don't mind the style of your language for more than one reason,but that is not how I would address anyone,not to speak of a teacher who has 40 years teaching experience at his back.
There are polite styles of making a request.here are some examples (there can be more):
1. Could you help the forum by picking up/taking up a post daily for linguistic analysis,sir?
2.We would appreciate your taking up a post a day for analysis and identification of mistakes in usage,sir?
3.Sir,if you could take up...........?
4.Will it be possible for you,sir.to ............?
5.How about taking up...................................,sir?
6.Do you think that it will be possible to................,sir?
7.It would be a great favour if you could/would............sir?
8.Sir,you are requested to ..........................

[Efksqhyu]

Assalamualikum,

It shall be a pleasure to be of service to my brethren. Could you think of a special post wherein it would be convenient to take of the learning of basic rules of English through Islamic content.
I feel it wont be proper to start finding faults with the posts contributed by the mebers.it may discourage some any they may not like to post for fear of being analysed. Somebody may take offence,and that is what I would not like to happen.
Here is a specimen lesson:

Use of verb ''to be'':

I am Rafi Ahmad Masoodi.
I am a Muslim (alhamdulilah). = I belong to Islam.
I am a Hanafi (alhamdulilah). = I belong to Hanafi Madhhab.
I am 60.
I am a member on Sunniforum. = I belong to Sunniforum.

Maripat is a Muslim and so is Fhd (Alhamdulilah). = Maripat and Fhd belong to Islam.
They are Hanafites. = They belong to Hanafi Madhab.
Maripat is a senior member.
He is my brother in Islam.
All Muslims are brothers.
A Shaffi is as good a Muslim as a Hanbali or a Maliki or a hanafi.
Following a Madhhab is for convenience.
Taqleed is a compulsion for one who is not a Mujtahid.
Back biting is forbidden.
Mulims are accountable to Allah.
We are responsible for our family.
Muslim Ummah is our family.

[indahouweres]

Masoodi Sahab.
Last night I realized that your actual name might be Rafi Masoodi. I'll correct that IA.
I am glad that you have come forward to talk about linguistic matters. I enjoy this type of writings and I personally know some other people who do the same. Thus your contributions shall be of great value to me and other users who have the same disposition. And I also agree with your caution that people might get disturbed when their mistakes are pointed out. Even then I'll request you to start discussing impersonal examples-as you, in deed, have started. So kindly please continue.
Wassalam