I need Help
 

I am new on here and dont really know how it works, but I thought i would share what i am going through and maybe i could get some help.

Almost a year ago I smoked weed and this much have been the 5th time i smoked it in my life, i am not proud of this and deeply regret it, the other times i smoked it it didnt do anything to me but that time i had an awful reaction, everything felt so strange and like the walls were closing in on me, i cudnt breathe my mouth was so dry and all i could think of was my family and my childhood and this is how i am going to die, from a drug! I was saying so much things that i had no control over, i was screaming and seeing things, i was so scared. I was with friends at the time as it was my 21st birthday. When the abmulance came, all the life felt like it was leaving my body and i cudnt speak anymore, the thoughts were in my head but they wouldnt come out my mouth, i was lying on the floor with the paramedic next to me, looking up at all my friends thinking this is what it feels like to die. To this day i dont know if what i was feeling was real or hallucination from the drug, but then i felt my whole body being dragged out of me, it was the so scary and then i felt a thump in my heart and all i cud remember was hearing my own voice in my head saying im dead, im really dead... but then a few seconds later i opened my eyes with a gasp and the paramedic was pushing my chest and said its ok, your still here.

After the ordeal, the feeling of being 'High' on a drug hasnt left me, i constantly feel like i am dreaming and everything is fake, i feel like i go through the motions of life without experiencing them, i feel as though i am not real and everything around me isnt aswell. I dont want to be like this, I am at university and its making my life a misery. I have been told i have depersonalization disorder which does sound like what i am feeling, everyday feels the same and time goes so fast, i feel like i am an outsider looking in on my life but not being in the life i am living, i have not taken any medication for this. I have always believed in Islam but i have never really been very religious, i do pray when i can. I feel this disorder is so strong sometimes and its very hard to explain the way it can be for a sufferer of this. I dont know what to do and i feel really lost. I feel the disorder is taking me away from Religion and making me lose faith, which is something i really dont want to happen.

Thank you in advance for any help

asalaam,

May Allah make you better and keep your drug-free from now on. Ameen.

Hmmmmm, it seems like you have had a near-death experience. Maybe Allah is teaching you to be more careful and has given you the chance to turn your life round, so you need to take the right course of action.

A Companion was once with the PRophet (Saw) when a janazah (body going for burial) passed by them. The Companion asked, "whose funeral is it?" And the Prophet (saw) replied, "It is your funeral."

In other words, at this moment, after seeing someone who has died, reflect on your own life and dwell on the fact that one day, you will die too. What will your condition be once you have moved on to the next life. Are you heading for Heaven or Hell?

In the same way, your experience should make you reflect on your lifestyle and make you want to change yourself for the better.

WRT what you are feeling, it seems you are tense and anxious. Meditation and Dhikr are excellent ways to calm yourself down. You need to contact a female pir / shaykha who can help you and advise you further. I would recomment Shaykh Kamaluddin's wife, who is adept at this:

http://www.zaynabacademy.org/

You can go through the contact form or if you ring 07969485813, someone will put you through to her.

May Allah make things easy for you and make you better. Ameen.

http://discussworldissues.com/forums...lies/salam.gif

-Ask for forgiveness to Allah,
Dua for forgiveness: http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...-and-Magrib%29

-Do more good deeds so that you will get closer to Allah http://discussworldissues.com/forums...ilies/insh.gif

-Recite the Quran Everyday.

-Read the book attached.

Do more good deeds so that you will get closer to Allah? in my area, people said that do more good deeds and you will get closer to good result.

Thank you brother amr123. Jazakallah khair.

@melbourne

Delete it, veil your sins.