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#1 |
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I'm hoping its just the grief talking. But question after losing a pet how soon is too soon to get another dog? First of all I am in no way ready for another dog. We are talking for atleast 3 or 4 years. My goal is to concentrate on my Sasha, she needs me and to be honest I need her. But we always had a plan. In 3 or 4 years we were going to bring in a 3rd dog, hoping for an SBT. Well now my husband said to me last night out of the blue "You know I never wanted a 3rd dog and I was going to fight you tooth and nail on the issue" Well this is news to me, he was even suggestiong potential breeds. He went on to tell me it will be atleast 9 or 10 years before he can even think about another dog and even then he may not be ready. He said he may never be ready. He said we were lucky to get such a healthy dog, referring to Sasha, and that he couldn't handle going through what we went through with Trouble again. Again Trouble was sick pretty much his whole life. He doesn't want to risk bringing home another sick puppy and doing this all over again. I was hoping when my daughter was older to bring in a new puppy and now my husband is suddenly dead set against it?
If he really meant what he said about not having any intention of a 3rd dog all this time, I wish he would have told me instead of playing into my hopes and dreams. And now he doesn't even know if he ever wants another dog. ![]() ![]() ---------- Post added at 09:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:19 AM ---------- I want my SBT, darn it! You know, not now. But someday. |
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#2 |
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I would say just take your time, at the moment you've probably got a lot of emotions going on. I wouldn't revisit the thought until you think you're ready for another one. Sounds like you know you aren't ready for one yet so wait until you feel like you are. Sometimes we can't put a time frame on something like that, you just know when you're ready and it's gotta just come natural.
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#4 |
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You can't put a time limit on it. Its what you feel comfortable with. 10 years is a really long time, I couldn't wait that long but some people need to.
I lost my dog in March and was lost because he was our future - he was my heart dog and a show dog we were going to base everything off of. Its taken me two months of soul searching to know I want to start over & he was so special I am going to get his little brother when and if he is born. I know he'll never be a replacement but his line is so consistant, I know he'll my best option for starting over. I'm not ready for a pup right now so I'm glad he isn't even bred yet. But, I feel like I can heal easier because I know what I want now. We have other pups in our future also but I feel like I need this first. Almost like I would resent a different pup for not being him & I don't want that. Wow, lots of rambling lol. Don't rush your hubby let it go until you feel the time is right then approach him and he may have healed by then. He may just be talking out of pain, anger and fear from the death of your other dog. |
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#5 |
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#6 |
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Slap him upside the head and teach him to count, if you only have ONE dog now it wouldn't be a third dog it would be a second dog! If Trouble did anything in this life, he taught me about good doggy nutrition and he did a favor for Sasha and any dog I ever have in the future, because if it weren't for him I'd probably still be feeding low quality food like Pedigree or Kibbles n bits, eww. And for now I'm going to continue with California Natural for Sasha but we may switch to a slightly different food for her now that Trouble is no longer with us. But still one that is a good quality food. And all our future dogs will be feed food with no fillers and dyes and full of good protein. Its only been 2 days and I'm already seeing the benefits that came from having him. Even though it was such a short time. |
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#7 |
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Was he really attached to Trouble? I know every time I've lost a dog I say never again, I don't want to keep going through this... And then I have another dog come into my life who's so special I want to hold onto them.
I know it's too early, too soon, but have you considered fostering? You can't 'have' another dog without the huge commitment to it, you don't have to keep it forever, just get it healthy, train it up and get it ready for a real home. |
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#8 |
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Was he really attached to Trouble? I know every time I've lost a dog I say never again, I don't want to keep going through this... And then I have another dog come into my life who's so special I want to hold onto them. |
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#9 |
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I think it is a combination of grief and the illness your departed one suffered. Prolonged illness can traumatize an owner financially and emotionally.
Give him a few weeks and revisit the issue. Make sure you mention that the next dog you get will be healthy and enjoy better quality of life, a longer life and much lower vet bills. As for when? Who knows? We all grieve differently. I did pre-grief with Patches. I knew he was getting up there in years and would pass in the not too distant future, so I got another dog to cushion the loss that was coming. I also wanted a dog around doing dog things as Patches pretty much retired and napped constantly. A few years later, that dog started showing signs of unstable temperament and attacked my son. He was PTS ( RIP Rico) at our request and we grieved. I didn't feel right without a dog being a dog around the house and it was too quiet around here like there was a big dog shaped hole in our home. We started looking for a new dog the following week. Took us a few months to find Ike. Then Rita came to us needing a home and we had three. A month later Patches passed on my lap and we were back to two. Honestly, I would have fallen apart and been a much bigger mess than I was for a longer period of time if it hadn't been for Ike and Rita being there for me. |
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#10 |
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By the way thanks for sharing your stories and support. I really hate to be such a downer. On a much brighter note, my husband and I did talk a few minutes ago on his lunch break and we decided a good way to honor Trouble would be to make a donation to our local animal shelter in his name. My husband came up with that. I'm proud of him for that, because I agree with him. That is an excellent way to honor him. I think he would have approved. That is a good sign though that maybe he is really just talking out of grief. If he didn't still care about animals, he wouldn't be doing that, right?
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#11 |
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Right! What a sweet man. You aren't a downer. You're just going through a hard time and forums of dog lovers who understad how you feel is a big help in getting through. I think we have all been there.
---------- Post added at 12:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:24 PM ---------- You know, after Patches passed the hubby said we were just fine with two and two was plenty when I mentioned getting a third. Then he all of a sudden mentioned getting a SBT. He even had web sites about them saved to show me. He says he wants to have "his very own" dog that he picked since I picked Ike ad Rita. Sometimes, the male comes around all on his own,lol. |
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#12 |
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different folks handle loss in different ways...
right now, anything either of you say will be tainted with emotion.. and that will change over time.... a polite way of saying anything you say now does not mean shit and should be taken with a grain of salt.... you will both know when the time is right to consider an new animal... some folks take some time to heal.. others think that to honor the joy they had with their previous animal they should get a new one right away... y'all have to decide what is right for you... do you honor the memory of you dog by grieving, or do you honor it by celebrating the life... and pick up new joy as soon as you are stable enough to enjoy it... |
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#13 |
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I'll just give him the time and space he needs. Obviously with Sasha we are going to continue to do dog events, I'm still going to help out at the shelter when I can and maybe with time and exposure my husband and I both with reach the right time at the right time. Because even though I love and miss Trouble I'm not going to stop doing the things I enjoy. I love animals and any chance I get to be around them, I take it. I'm tired of sad stuff. I think I'm going to go over to the photo section and post the photos of my little Champion from this past weekends events. I think someone was looking out for us up above. I did not expect Sasha to even place but she won. I think the good lord knew Trouble would be taken from us Monday and we needed something good to happen to cusion the blow. Then again I believe Sasha may have been placed in our lives partially for that reason. I mean we didn't know or we couldn't forsee that Trouble would be taken from us so soon. We weren't even looking for another dog when we got her, Trouble was only 8 or 9 months old. I don't know how we would get through this without her though. So I am going to make a conscious decision from this point on to move forward. Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing, even though I know we did. But its time to move forward and think of happy things. Will there be days I come on here missing Trouble needing to talk, probably. He was so young.
But I just want you all to know how much I appreciate all the kind words and support you have given me over the last few days. It makes it easier to talk to other people who have been there or who just guinely care about there pets. So thank you all. I know my family has a long road ahead before we heal. And I'm glad I found this site. Came on here because I was wanting a SBT in a few years and felt the best way to learn is to read and talk to other people and the last day or so you all have been a real lifeline for me. So thankyou. I just hope it starts to get a little easier. I'm hurting but I'm at peace with what happened as well. He was a very sick little guy. |
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#14 |
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He's just hurt right now. I can't even count how many times in my life I've said I never want another cat, ferret, dog etc.
When my boxer got hit by a car when he was 5, I was heartbroken. I spent days in bed and couldn't eat. When I moved out of my mom's, the first thing I wanted was another dog. I got my friend's dad's old boxer, but she ended up biting someone (she was a real nut job) so she was PTS. I was torn up. 3 years later I finally decided to get another dog (which turned into 2 then 3), but it was only when the right one came along (Lucy). I had already been planning on getting Ethel, but her litter wasn't due until October, and I was happy to wait. But then I was looking on CL for ferret stuff, and I saw ads for American Pit Bull Terriers that needed homes that day. I'd studied the breed, and knew I would never want another boxer, and a different kind of bully sounded perfect (I'd already been doing my research for over a year). It was love at first sight with Lucy, for both me and my boyfriend, and she filled the void with kisses. What I'm trying to say is, he's saying he never wants another dog NOW. But in a few years, when he's had time to heal and life has settled down again, that perfect dog will turn up, and he won't be able to say no. |
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