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Old 02-24-2009, 09:15 AM   #1
Serttyfd

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Default Dear Dogs and Cats
I am not sure where to post this, but I thought it was cute. My mom sent it to me, she too is an animal lover. Please move it to another area of the board if this isn't where it should be.

To all Pet OwnersTo be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object
. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.


I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1.They live here. You don't.
2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called (well, OK, the cat thinks about it)
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollar
s
for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:20 AM   #2
Sleedyhex

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lol i think i should hang this up in my house! i love it!
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:27 AM   #3
NvrNoNowX

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HAHA, that is very cute peom. I love it!
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:40 PM   #4
Aozenee

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That was so cute! I loved it. Thanks to your mom for sending it to you.
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:42 PM   #5
pfcwlkxav

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LOL!! Too funny!!! This is great!

" The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!"

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Old 02-24-2009, 07:53 PM   #6
RlUbQU3R

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this made me smile.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:01 PM   #7
AngelBee

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Gotta love this. Ain't it so true. I especially can relate to this one since I have 2 dogs, 4 cats and 3 Macaws

2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:11 PM   #8
Serttyfd

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That was so cute! I loved it. Thanks to your mom for sending it to you.
I am glad you guys got a smile from it.
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Old 02-25-2009, 12:54 PM   #9
ENCOSEARRALIA

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Very cute--thanks for posting!
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Old 02-25-2009, 01:15 PM   #10
UnduttRit

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lol about the bathroom one,I actually have to let my Aussie in when im in the shower,otherwise he tries to tear the door down
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Old 02-26-2009, 12:33 AM   #11
acneman

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I love this, it's PURRR-fect!!
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Old 02-26-2009, 05:40 AM   #12
euylvaygdq

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it made my umm..night, that was priceless. THANK YOU!
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Old 02-26-2009, 05:44 AM   #13
nebrarlepleme

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haha I love it
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