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Old 03-18-2012, 07:02 PM   #1
xqdrocherz

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Default My perspective on Asian men and Black women
Okay, I was born in the United States and most of the stereotypes I've known or heard of from the media are often toward black women and Asian men.

I find it funny that majority of the people always go, "why other races don't date black women?" or "why asian men are not attractive?"

TOTALLY BIG MISCONCEPTION.

First of all, I do not understand the "why white women don't date asian men?"

I've heard this a lot in the US media (talk shows and so on) and even in an Australia blog. OKAY, honestly... I find all ethnic groups to be attractive in their own ways, but as a graduated student with my focus on sociology and minor focus on many ethnic studies, anthropology and psychology courses, I just wanted to make a thread about what I've heard, read and seen. I find it quite funny.

Have anyone of you ever twist the question around?
"why asian men don't dated white women?" or "why asian men are not attractive to other non-asian women?"


HERE IS WHY? I don't have any problem with interracial or white men dating asian women or black men dating white women. Seriously, I do not have a single problem. In regard to this issue of dating or attraction that both Asian men and Black women go through... I just wanted to make it clear that


1. Most Asian men I've talked to in regard to this issue told me that they tend to gear toward dating Asian women or marrying Asian women. Growing up in an Asian culture with strong emphasis on marrying an Asian woman of my own ethnicity, I'm positively sure many Asian men of different Asian ethnicity do know that even Asian men of different ethnicity don't date outside their ethnicity even if they are from the same race.

ex: Korean men + Korean women. Vietnamese men + Vietnamese women.

Reality: As an Asian guy, I grew up observing older women in my culture telling their sons not to marry women from other Asian groups.

So, to answer the question, "why white women don't date asian men?" I think the question should be turned around.


2. Most African/black women I've talked to or had observed. I get this sense that majority of black women are in a sense proud and strong of who they are. This dominant "feeling" that lots of black women have....(THE NOTION OF STRONG BLACK WOMEN) I personally believe that majority of black women prefer to date black men. Almost most black women I've talked to ask me, "where are the black men? why are they dating them white women?"

I truly believe that black women are proud of their "race" or culture. In a sense, I do feel that black women tend to lean toward finding a good black man. Likewise, I grew up having my own mother telling me "find a good "asian" woman."



So when the media goes "the two groups that are least attractive are asian men and black women," I find it funny that people don't realize, but asian men tend to only date asian women due to culture, not race. Black women in my own observation tend to date black men due to "physical attraction."


IF A GREY MALE PIGEON prefers chasing a GREY FEMALE PIGEON.. then you get your answer. Only when no GREY FEMALE PIGEONS are available, then the GREY MALE PIGEON will display courtship with non-grey female pigeons. (anyone who raises pigeons and observe pigeons in the wild will realized that pigeons tend to court the opposite mates that look like them.)

This thread is not intended to attack on white, but rather what the white media has displayed in the west (NOT IN EUROPE, but AMERICA).
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:12 PM   #2
LOVEBoy

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Lol. How do you feel about the ''Asian men are feminine'' stereotype?

---------- Post added 2012-03-18 at 16:46 ----------

I don't mean to offend you btw.
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Old 03-18-2012, 07:23 PM   #3
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Asian men are feminine?

Personally, I feel it's more the younger "Asian teens" that gear toward it. Most young Asian girls like the cute pretty Asian male looks and vice versa.
Of the Asian men coming from a traditional household and older generation, I do not see any signs of femininity at all.
In fact, I believe "the image of feminine" stem from the west term of (METROSEXUAL) in which young Asian are exposed to.

The problem is, most non-Asian living in the west (especially Americans in general) already have the "asian men are feminine" stereotype put into your mind. So when you see masculine asian men, you don't seem to notice it and brush it away, but when you see few asian men with the feminine looks (western definition of feminine) you then make a conclusion about the entire group even with many masculine Asian men.


Masculine can be defined in many ways (physically, culturally, or behavior).

I grew up in the farm. I slaughtered pigs, cows, sheep and etc... I do men work. That's considered as MASCULINITY to me. A man that work out and have muscles, but doesn't know a single thing about how to do men work in the farm is a FEMININE MAN.

Anyways, the stereotype th at Asian men are feminine? Hmmm.... maybe you should go to certain parts of Asia and you will realize it's only an image from the west about the Asian men living in the west and being exposed to FASHION and etc...

well... to my knowledge, it's the Asian youths that enjoy the "CUTENESS" in a guy, especially young Asian girls.

---------- Post added 2012-03-18 at 04:27 ----------

Lol. How do you feel about the ''Asian men are feminine'' stereotype?

---------- Post added 2012-03-18 at 16:46 ----------

I don't mean to offend you btw.
Not offended at all. When I was younger, I wanted to look pretty and cute to my Asian girl fans.
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Old 03-19-2012, 12:59 AM   #4
jyhugikuhih

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Asian men are feminine?

Personally, I feel it's more the younger "Asian teens" that gear toward it. Most young Asian girls like the cute pretty Asian male looks and vice versa.
Of the Asian men coming from a traditional household and older generation, I do not see any signs of femininity at all.
In fact, I believe "the image of feminine" stem from the west term of (METROSEXUAL) in which young Asian are exposed to.

The problem is, most non-Asian living in the west (especially Americans in general) already have the "asian men are feminine" stereotype put into your mind. So when you see masculine asian men, you don't seem to notice it and brush it away, but when you see few asian men with the feminine looks (western definition of feminine) you then make a conclusion about the entire group even with many masculine Asian men.


Masculine can be defined in many ways (physically, culturally, or behavior).

I grew up in the farm. I slaughtered pigs, cows, sheep and etc... I do men work. That's considered as MASCULINITY to me. A man that work out and have muscles, but doesn't know a single thing about how to do men work in the farm is a FEMININE MAN.

Anyways, the stereotype th at Asian men are feminine? Hmmm.... maybe you should go to certain parts of Asia and you will realize it's only an image from the west about the Asian men living in the west and being exposed to FASHION and etc...

well... to my knowledge, it's the Asian youths that enjoy the "CUTENESS" in a guy, especially young Asian girls.

---------- Post added 2012-03-18 at 04:27 ----------





Not offended at all. When I was younger, I wanted to look pretty and cute to my Asian girl fans.
Honestly,I usually just hear the effeminate stereotype on these race boards and chat rooms.I have never heard anyone say that in real life.

But alot of people on the forums just judge masculinity by how bearded you are,or how muscular and rough your features are.But if you are hanging on anthropology chat rooms all day,that's pretty far from masculine...lol.

I think Masculinity is defined by behavior and attitude more than some random shallow physical charateristics.
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Old 03-19-2012, 01:15 AM   #5
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^^ Liar! I've seen it on TV! The magic box speaks the truth...
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Old 03-19-2012, 01:22 AM   #6
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^^ Liar! I've seen it on TV! The magic box speaks the truth...
I said in real life,as in what I have seen on the streets and people in person.Yes,most people I know do some generalization and stereotyping,but not near to the same level as some people on anthro forums do.And in person,I have never heard people saying any groups is more or less effeminate than another.

By the way,the idiot box has never been real life.And never will.
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Old 03-23-2012, 04:06 AM   #7
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As an asian male. I was never attracted to white women and still dont find them attractive.
I dont find blond, big nose, freckles, skin spots attractive at all.
Most white women look like men to me. Also, the western media portrays them as all sort which I know its not true, but something in regard to culture and values make me feel like they have no common sense or any values.
I tend to eye on native american, southeast asian and east asian.

---------- Post added 2012-03-22 at 13:10 ----------

Honestly,I usually just hear the effeminate stereotype on these race boards and chat rooms.I have never heard anyone say that in real life.

But alot of people on the forums just judge masculinity by how bearded you are,or how muscular and rough your features are.But if you are hanging on anthropology chat rooms all day,that's pretty far from masculine...lol.

I think Masculinity is defined by behavior and attitude more than some random shallow physical charateristics.
The west focus or emphasize masculinity more based on phsical while the east emphasize masxulinity on behavior and work....

These muscle heads probably cant even probably kill a bull or pig.
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Old 03-23-2012, 04:15 AM   #8
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I think Masculinity is defined by behavior and attitude more than some random shallow physical charateristics.
mhhh NO. The physical appearance is very important.
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Old 03-23-2012, 04:19 AM   #9
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My maternal uncle looked very East Asian although he was a 50% mix. He wasn't very big but he was charismatic and unfortunately a troubled and reckless individual who had a lot of problems in life. It may be that his dad died when he was around 12 years old. He studied martial arts and got in a lot of fights around the neighborhood. He got sent to juvenile facilities for fighting. As a young adult he tried to commit suicide once, ended up in the hospital. He always dated white girls when he was younger. As an adult he went through 4 wives, 3 white and one black. I mentioned here before, he went to prison in his 40's and ran with the Native American group. He also lived in Europe for a period of time and spoke fluent German. Anyway he was a mixed up guy. One thing he wasn't though was feminine. He probably would have been better off to settle down with one traditional Asian wife instead of following the crazy path he did.
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Old 03-23-2012, 04:49 AM   #10
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Interesting perspective. I live near a large Vietnamese community and am great friends with a few asian guys, and they all express their dissatisfaction
with the disporpotionte ratios of white male-asian female to asian male-white female couples, and they set out to get a white girlfriend, often saying they need to compete in a way. Whenever they see a WHite woman- asian guy couple they feel that it counts as a victory for their group. I'm sure this does not apply to all asian american males but I see it pretty frequently. Who knows though, maybe its just in my area. I personally find many asian girls very attractive but it is extremely rare for me to find an attractive asian male. I think this stems from the fact that asian peoples tend to retain juvenile features into adulthood, which makes many men seem lacking in the masculinity department (only generalizing here, I know there are exceptions). This is where I think the femmine stereotype comes from.
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:18 AM   #11
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Are the relationships between black women and asian men in North America becoming more common? I read in some places that they were.
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:29 AM   #12
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^^ I don't know where to find stats on it, but I would expect it to be the least common interracial pairing.
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:29 AM   #13
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Are the relationships between black women and asian men in North America becoming more common? I read in some places that they were.
its one of those once in every 10 years or sometimes never type of encounters and they're extremely rare. asian guys i know are more likely to end up with white and mexican women whenever they date or marry interracially. black women are the same way
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:39 AM   #14
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I have seen pictures of it on the internet but my uncle and the woman he married were the closest real life example I have ever seen. Considering his ancestry and life choices I don't see him being part of some greater trend. Basically he dated this woman before going to prison, she played a role in sending him there, then he got out and married her without telling the family, got sick, went into the hospital, was released and instead of going home to her, came home to my grandma's house and died in his sleep on the couch one night. My mom was handling his final affairs when this woman called. Mom told her my uncle was dead, she told mom they were married... surprises on both sides. Not part of some larger social pattern.

I am seeing more East Asian and South Asian guys with white women in my local area lately. Like second generation Asian guys mainly.
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:47 AM   #15
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I think this stems from the fact that asian peoples tend to retain juvenile features into adulthood, which makes many men seem lacking in the masculinity department (only generalizing here, I know there are exceptions). This is where I think the femmine stereotype comes from.
i'm one of the most masculine unmixed asian guy in north america and someone said i could even pass for a motuan
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Old 03-23-2012, 09:41 AM   #16
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I said in real life,as in what I have seen on the streets and people in person.Yes,most people I know do some generalization and stereotyping,but not near to the same level as some people on anthro forums do.And in person,I have never heard people saying any groups is more or less effeminate than another.

By the way,the idiot box has never been real life.And never will.
Lol. You took that seriously?
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:14 PM   #17
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So when the media goes "the two groups that are least attractive are asian men and black women," I find it funny that people don't realize, but asian men tend to only date asian women due to culture, not race. Black women in my own observation tend to date black men due to "physical attraction."
topic of black women preference was brought up here before, and some people(both whites & non-whites) here couldn't digest that most of black women were more attracted to black men over white men. for these people whites men and white women were the ideal of beauty, so the real life dating/relationship choices of black women was a major slap in their face. I agree it isn't only white people deciding interrelationships, rather that many asian men and black women rather go after their own rather than whites. But problem has never been asian men, but asian women.

do some asian mothers push their sons into relationships with asian girls, but they don't bother doing the same with their daughters? I know there are alot of asian girls that mainly like asian guys, or only asian men of their own ethnic group. but why is there some asian girls that only want white men & never asian men or any other men of colour?

---------- Post added 2012-03-23 at 09:23 ----------

Are the relationships between black women and asian men in North America becoming more common? I read in some places that they were.
Atleast in Youtube land, black girls/women seem to be the ones who seem to be interested most in asian guys and claiming support for asian men, than white women. Ofcourse this may not reflect real life, but rather these women may just be a more vocal minority.

And I like to add that majority of these asian loving black girls i seen in youtube are also quiet hot & good-looking.
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:46 PM   #18
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Masculine can be defined in many ways (physically, culturally, or behavior).

Anyways, the stereotype th at Asian men are feminine? Hmmm.... maybe you should go to certain parts of Asia and you will realize it's only an image from the west about the Asian men living in the west and being exposed to FASHION and etc...
asian men are usualy smaller and weaker compared to europeans, partialy due to the malnutrition but also due to their different food culture

asian men are mongoloids which means that their characteristics can be more pedomorphic than european mens ones

asian cultures pay attention to submission, to be submissive is not a masculine trait

asian men are part of immigrand minorities in europe, immigrands have good reasons to keep any agressiveness for themselves, while people from the host groups do not have such limitations

apart from being immigrands, asian men are also ... asian which means that they will recieve racism and negative stereotypes anyway.

I grew up in the farm. I slaughtered pigs, cows, sheep and etc... I do men work. That's considered as MASCULINITY to me. A man that work out and have muscles, but doesn't know a single thing about how to do men work in the farm is a FEMININE MAN. slaughtering is not a mans work, its a butchers work.
slaughtering an animal doesn't make you "masculine" or what ever.

by your line of thought all peasants in the medieval who had to slaughter their animals themselves were masculine while warriors of all sorts who never had to slaughter animals themselves were feminine... just lol.
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:31 PM   #19
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Are the relationships between black women and asian men in North America becoming more common? I read in some places that they were.
Its not a common IR pairing. But I know a few SE Asian men like Filipinos and Cambodians who are in IR relationships with Black women, but never East Asian men. Black women view them as not having enough dowinstairs.
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:50 PM   #20
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I've seen Filipinos, Cambodians and Indonesians with black girls. I have a filipino friend who actually prefers black girls.
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