[Patabeamn]

Hello everyone.
Yesterday i saw something that really shook me.
there was a big kendo event in my town and kenshis came from all over the country. we all was finished we went out between some students and senseis. then one of the senseis from out of town was flirting a lot with one of his female students. I normally wouldnt mind too much, because i have seem some really nice relationships and true love happening because of kendo, but the problem is that this sensei is married and his wife is pregnant. He was someone i looked up to but now i have lost the respect towards him.
I would like to hear what you think.... sorry if i made any spelling or grammatical mistakes but english is not my native language.

[jessyhalm]

That's awful .

Your Sensei should be more discrete when doing those things (joking)

I don't think is apropriate to post that here you are practically making it public , since Kendo in Latinoamerica is not that big.

[intmarkworkk]

Unless of course you wanna xD

[socialkiiii]

I would like to hear what you think....

Why? It sounds like you've already made your mind up!

[TriamiCaw]

Why? It sounds like you've already made your mind up!

....uhm ok?

[Jeaxatoem]

My thoughts are so what? They're both adults (I assume) and they don't need you to be their moral compass. Secondly, if you've lost all respect for a man for a reason you're not even sure about, your respect strikes me as pretty fickle anyway.

Sorry to be harsh, but I've been on the other end of your story more than once, and it's always a barrel of laughs to have someone who knows nothing about you or your partner assume you're a cheater just because one of your friendships doesn't mesh with their assumptions about what an opposite sex friendship should look like.

[masterso]

....uhm ok?

You're welcome.

[drycleden]

Perhaps you should have got there first Andrs? is that the problem?

[dodsCooggipsedebt]

I would like to hear what you think....

Keep your nose out of it.
Why go looking for or creating trouble.

[Smeaphvalialm]

Unlike Las Vegas, what happens in Quito apparently doesn't stay in Quito.

[Tusanoc]

Why is everyone attacking the guy (OP)? (Is it really so obvious to everyone in his country as to who he's talking about?) It's not like he used any names...

That being said, I can definitely see how what one person thinks of as flirting might in fact not actually be flirting.

Wouldn't it have been better to just say "well, its better not to make assumptions" or something like that?

When someone asks that kind of question, (or at least if I was the one asking) what I'd REALLY want is for someone to help me find a way to see (rationalize? see through an assumption?) that what looked like flirting actually wasn't. So that I'd feel better about what I saw (and so that I could regain the respect I had for such a person). Thats what I am understanding as "what do you think?".
But before knowing a darn thing, everyone starts attacking the OP...? Or making assumptions? Even if he's in the wrong, getting all nasty towards him doesn't help a bit.

[maxsobq]

(or at least if I was the one asking) what I'd REALLY want is for someone to help me find a way to see (rationalize? see through an assumption?)

You're missing the whole point. or two.
1) it's none of his business so it doesn't matter what actually is going on.
2) he's expecting someone else to adhere to a moral code of his own manufacture.

What the OP needs to do is gain a little maturity here and focus on his own behavior. That's all that matters. What other consenting adults do is not any of his business. No rationalizations or explanations are necessary. I don't think it's necessary to sugarcoat the advice just because the OP won't like it.

[sportlife]

I can't speak for the others. As for me, enzan no metsuke in after-practice activities means not to look too hard at the far mountain. Wrong conclusions can spring forth.

[actioliGalm]

No rationalizations or explanations are necessary. I don't think it's necessary to sugarcoat the advice just because the OP won't like it.

I wonder if the OP will even come back to KWF. That was his first post.

Then again, you guys pawned me for my first post. :\
Maybe it's a right of passage. Hazing, KWF style.

[VFOVkZBj]

In all seriousness though, my point is not that he was right or wrong in his first post, but rather, that there's no need to attack him right off the bat.

That can be really off putting.

Did I just use a Brittish idiom? Must be all that Doctor Who I've been watching...

[NerbuitW]

that there's no need to attack him right off the bat There was no attacking, the OP asked

I would like to hear what you think.... And we informed him. If Neil or any other moderator has an issue with anything I've personally said, I'll be happy to tone down my phrasing in future, but I see no issue with telling somebody my opinion straight up if they specifically ask for it.

[ZZipZZipe]

I didn't see any British idioms at all.


I think that when you see a sensei behaving in a way that you think is inappropriate, there's not much you can do. There really isn't anything you SHOULD do, either; by behaving inappropriately, they're only behaving in a way that diminishes the respect other people may have for them.

On the other hand, it may be worth considering other things in this particular situation. Is this sensei naturally a personable guy? Does he goof off with his male students as well? There are some people I know who simply get along better with women; this comes across as flirting to other people, regardless of how faithful they are. I really don't know anything about the situation, the sensei, or the students, so I can't exactly sit here and pass judgment.

Some people are great judges, but some are great judgers. I try to watch myself lest I fall into the latter category.

[Preegovesem]

Sensei =/= Saint

[Emalodoulouts]

Mind your own business

[Beedcardabeme]

I can't speak for the others. As for me, enzan no metsuke in after-practice activities means not to look too hard at the far mountain. Wrong conclusions can spring forth.

I dunno man, some of those women have pretty large mountains... then another thing might spring forth.