[CorpoRasion]

I'm new here. I REALLY need help, very confused . I think my problem goes beyond the fact that I cheated. I cheated on my husband last year with 2 different people. Partly because of somethings we went through the year prior (2006) and secondly because I'm attracted to women. No, I didn't cheat on him with any women and I've never been with a woman but the feelings are there and STRONG. He keeps pressing for me to talk to him about "why" I did what I did and I feel better just letting him think that I did it just because. I'm too embarrassed to say to him "I think I'm a lesbian". I cry often. I just don't let him see me. I went through some big extremes with this cheating thing and I felt horrible. I just don't want to be gay (not judging the life style I just don't want to be in it). I felt that I needed as much attention from men, so that maybe that would help. Sounds stupid I know but I needed something. The feelings that I have are consuming me and I'm in pain. I hurt the only man that I've ever loved and I would be devastated to see him with anyone else. I can't take this pain. It's unbearable. I need help in more ways than I can count. Please help. I'll take questions too maybe there is something I need to ask myself that I haven't already. (bleeding heart)