[Kvkcgktl]

Hi guys.

I have known many of you guys for many many years, going way back to the MadOnion days and would like to share a big possible life changing decision with you and possibly get some thoughts and opinions. Im at a crossroad in my life now where im not entirely sure which is the right path. I guess I will not know until I take one of the paths but would like your opinions all the same. Will try to keep it as short as possible

Ok I have been a Precision Engineer for 11 years now since I left school which although I cant stand the job, the salary for the amount of work I have to do is pretty good. I was with a girl for 6 years which ended 2 years ago. I never got a joint mortgage but we did rent however. I spent alot of my own money to help her out of a bad hole she had gotten into, with debt being the biggest one. I paid for her education she got a great job at a law firm and then cheated on me with a collegue and left me. I was very cut up at the time but managed to pull out of it, moved back with the parents and 6 months after the relationship I met the most amazing girl ever with who I am still with.



She is only 21 ( im 28) and still has 1 year left on a fashion and art degree which she is unbelievably talented in. Now I spend alot of time at her parents house and she spends alot of time at my parents house. Unfortunately I am not in a good financial position for a mortgage, although I have got a very tidy deposit to put down. Her dad owns his own business installing servers, pc`s, etc and is very successful with a fairly healthy clientel. He has 5 guys working for him, and has asked me if I would like to. He knows im doing my A+ in May, knows Im more than competant with pc`s. He knows of my building history - installing, fault finding, etc etc and has approached me with this offer. This is really were the problem lies. I more than likely will be taking a pay cut of around 5k but he will pay for all future training and does give out bonuses very regularly. He is a top bloke, I have met the guys he has working for him, they all seem really nice but im not sure whether to take him up on his offer because it`s very close to home. When I go to see my girlfriend, im worried that he will be constantly talking about work all evening as he's very dedicated. I dont want to cause any problems in our relationship because this is the girl im intending to marry and spend the rest of my life with. But at the same time I have wanted to get out of my dead end job for years and into something I love. I`m spending a day Wednesday at the office to see if I like it, have a proper interview which the father is not doing but very unsure which is the right decision to take. Her parents get on very well with me and have accepted me into the family with open arms, but being this close to home, im scared of runing the perfect bond between everyone.

What would you guys do? Worth the gamble or do I stick with what im doing?

[PrettyFifa12]

In your situation with nothing major to lose out on, I'd say why nt give it a go.
[thumbup]

[Nurse_sero]

Do you have to do this job full time? Why not keep your job that you are currently doing and work part time at computer repair? That way you can get in good with her father but not have it consume both you and your girlfriend's lives. Also paycuts are never nice and although money isn't everything you need to make sure that you will eventually be able to support a life style that you are comfortable with.

If you plan on continuing your career in your chosen profession (the one you went to school for) Then I would say it might be a step backwards to go and do something that isn't related for less money. Just doesn't sound like it'd be something that would go well on a resume in the future. Now if you hate what you went to school for that's a different story.

Another thought, if you end up marrying his daughter then there might be a chance he would move you higher up in the company or what not and maybe even make it a family business someday who knows. There's a ton of possibilities here.

[sobre]

It's up to you, but I don't like working for family members and that's almost a family member.
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Wendie 99

[carlsberg21]

Very hard decision, you say you hate your current job if you think you will enjoy this new job a lot better it would seem you could make your life happier for a pay cut, i always think if you should do a job which you enjoy unless money is a real issue.
Edit - also weigh up job security at both places and for the future.

[gennick]

I'd go for it but I think it depends what your outlook on life is. I'm 30 and feel no commitment yet as far as career goes I'm going to leave the UK this year and go and live in New Mexico and start off doing whatever job I can get as far as I'm concerned (progression in the work place just seems to work out for me), I would have liked to have left earlier but it had to wait til we where financially ready. Anyway sorry my point was that as I see it at 28 your are young and you can take chances like this and still change things around if it doesn't go well but that depends on how 'old' you are some people have really settled down by their mid twenties and can't even imagine taking this kind of chances.

Ok sorry, that probably helped you in no way to make a decision. But maybe the best advice is to discuss it with your future wife which I'm sure you are doing anyway.

[dafodilkemmy]

in all honesty, i probably wouldnt do it. and by probably that would be JUST over the 50/50 line. its a job you would probably like, get to brown nose with her dad and get the bonus' and what not. but on the other hand i bet most of the time went with her dad outside of work would be about work talk. unless of course you can move out with her soon after the job or something and that way when you do see her dad (which wouldnt be as often im sure) then talkin business wouldnt be so bad.

however if ANYTHING at all happens in the relationship it unfortunately would mean your job if you took the job, and thats why i wouldnt do it. losing your job over something that shitty would be like a double bang, no girl and no job.... seems kinda shitty.

but im also a pessimist so i make most of my decisions on the negative side of things....
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List of factories

[gennick]

in all honesty, i probably wouldnt do it. and by probably that would be JUST over the 50/50 line. its a job you would probably like, get to brown nose with her dad and get the bonus' and what not. but on the other hand i bet most of the time went with her dad outside of work would be about work talk. unless of course you can move out with her soon after the job or something and that way when you do see her dad (which wouldnt be as often im sure) then talkin business wouldnt be so bad.

Now I know this isn't quite the same as a father-in-law but for many years I have lived in shared house with other people who work at the same college I do. At one point there was 5 of us in one house all doing the same job and yes we would get home and all talk about work but only for about an hour and then we were great friends who hung out together. And I tell you what work was the most rewarding experience back then that it has ever been. You see my job (as it was back then) could be quite emotionally draining but sitting there talking it through with 4 other people laughing about the similar experiences we'd had really made it all seem a lot easier.

Ok so IT work isn't quite the same but it might not be a bad thing. I'm sure her Dad doesn't talk about work all the time at the moment and since he knows Tony well he'll always have other things to chat about. My wife and I do practically the same job we do talk about other things though.

[littlePen]

That's a really tough call. If you think this woman might be the one then I would go for it for sure. Otherwise it might get icy when you break up or if you have a bad work relationship with the boss, that could become problematic in your personal life. I really think though that the money should not be the deciding factor. Go for it if that's where your heart lies, everything else will take care of itself!

[Hoglaunccoolf]

I personally would'nt do it.
As if the relationship went sour, it would pretty much make the job unbearable.

I'm probably looking at it from this viewpoint, because the fact that the girl is still quite young.
At 21, I'm not sure if she could offer you long term commitment, yet!

It all depends on her though, you know her better than anyone, and if you reckon she is committed to you and the relationship, especially if she has talked of marriage, kids etc.
Then the job might be worth taking up.

Afterall, you don't want to take the job and in a year the relationship ends, which is gonna put you in a real awkward position.

I'd also look at it from the viewpoint of the other 5 guys who work for her father.
They might seem fine now, but how are they gonna be with you, when your gonna be their co-worker and potentially their bosses future son-in-law.
Could make things very awkward with them, afterall, most people at some time slag off or slate their bosses, and their not exactly gonna include you in their "inner circle" cos they might think you'll squeal to the boss, if they slag him off at any time.

Its upto you in the end though, only you can decide how you wanna play this.

If you don't do it, you might kick yourself for not doing it, and if you do take the job, you might kick yourself for getting in too deep.

[gennick]

If you don't do it, you might kick yourself for not doing it, and if you do take the job, you might kick yourself for getting in too deep.

That's what I call a win/win situation

[Vcwdldva]

its a tough call, yes the job would be good. but as said there is more to that than just the job, you have to consider the other implications already mentioned

i would sit down and talk to your gf about it, and explain your thoughts and dilemma's about the whole thing because it sounds like it is going to affect her as well from what you said.

as said is she committed, and i thought i had a committed gf getting towards 21 who talked about marriage etc, however it turns out she should have been committed for being stupid. i would say talk to her is the basic underlying issue

[Nglvayhp]

Can i have the job?

If you dont want it like...

[Ephejvll]

Do it, if things turn sour later just move on. That's life.

[DoctorTDent]

Even if it goes tits up, you're getting trained. That space to grow will be worth being unemployed for a couple of months. Also, this GF has a rich daddy which means you won't have to bankroll her through her education.

[bettingonosports]

I say do what makes you happy and to hell with the consequences. Unless of course its throwing your life away by getting married to some bitch.

[Kvkcgktl]

thank you for all your comments guys, so many of you have said things that I have already been thinking to myself. All of the above I have already thought long and hard about.

Sorry it`s been a long time since my original post, was busy last night, then had a good chat with my g/f about things. I can say to all you guys questioning her age and commitment, she wants to marry me, have kids, always going about future life together and knowing her very very well by now we are inseperable and we have each found the future. But thats what makes it so hard. She is everything to me, we spend every day together in some capacity and for this job to cause problems between us would kill me. I`m planning on getting engaged to her this summer as we are so strong and so in love.

The job is a great opportunity and one I have been dreaming of for a long time. I have been stuck in the corner of an oily workshop for the past 11 years, would be so great to wear a suit, smell good, mix with different people and be a whole lot more profesional making a career for myself. I`m not sure how I would make it clear to the other peeps in the office that I want to be treated like an equal. I dont want no favours. I`m worried that they will not treat me like a normal person and have some kinda grudge seeing as im only there because of the father. Wow this is so hard. Major decision needed

[pooncophy]

The job is a great opportunity and one I have been dreaming of for a long time. I have been stuck in the corner of an oily workshop for the past 11 years, would be so great to wear a suit, smell good, mix with different people and be a whole lot more profesional making a career for myself. I`m not sure how I would make it clear to the other peeps in the office that I want to be treated like an equal. I dont want no favours. I`m worried that they will not treat me like a normal person and have some kinda grudge seeing as im only there because of the father. Wow this is so hard. Major decision needed

If your new colleagues are, as you say, all right then this shouldn't be a problem. I'd say go for it: you're being given a great opportunity that you have to mold into a success. If the job doesn't work out, I imagine it wouldn't be too unreasonable to find a new job (or, heck, even get back to your current job) without losing your girl over it.

As for not wanting favors... You're doing the boss's daughter, I think it's a little late to not ask for favors! =P

[wmirkru]

Mention it to your GF, but talk about it to the dad. He will probably respect the fact that you want the job but realise thats it going to tread on a few toes and you wont want to ruin anything with his daughter - he will like the fact that you are putting her first over your career.

If you get on well with them anyway just go for it - you might enjoy it. If it all goes tits up with her so what, you will have decent experience and if you enjoy the profession will probably be able to step up the ladder.

Just make sure its her that does the dumping

[pkxlugbsbv]

That IS a really tough choice.
Personally, I'd do what makes you happiest. Getting out of a job you hate is important. If you have a really good relationship with her father, and you think you could work for him, do it.

But work your ass off!