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Old 04-17-2007, 02:26 AM   #1
AlissBart

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Default Things I've Learned From a 2 Year Old


Japher you should post more
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Old 04-17-2007, 02:59 AM   #2
uneniaPhenits

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true dat...
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Old 04-17-2007, 03:00 AM   #3
Cucoulkrory

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my sister is due next month... we'll take care of that
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Old 04-17-2007, 03:02 AM   #4
anfuckinggs

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Are you back in Texas?
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Old 04-17-2007, 03:16 AM   #5
tweriaroats

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Originally posted by VetLegion
BTW., I've heard that kids are born with swimming ability, only to lose it soon after. Can someone test a newborn to verify this? In controlled enviroment of course ME! i never lost it. we have it on video. but that would be NSFW to post, so you'll have to trust me.
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Old 04-17-2007, 04:53 AM   #6
Triiooman

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Learned from my 8 month old grandaughter.....never throw the baby up in the air and play airplane shortly after she's eaten and especially don't leave your mouth open
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Old 04-17-2007, 05:23 AM   #7
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Those are some excellent reasons to never, ever have children.
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Old 04-17-2007, 05:44 AM   #8
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also, you better have a LOT of patience.
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Old 04-17-2007, 10:51 AM   #9
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How else are you suppose to get the crumbs off?

JonM iller
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Old 04-17-2007, 11:55 AM   #10
sarasmid

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Originally posted by Japher
Well, Josie will be 2 in August so close enough. Feel free to post anything that kids do that make you wonder, wtf?!

1. If you aren't looking, kids can bend the space time continueum. It doesn't matter that your beer is on top of the fridge, or 5 feet away, of even in your own hand. If you look away they WILL spill it, drink it, put the remote control in it.

2. If you ever get your remote control complete submerged in Kool-aid, you can take it apart and let it dry out, put it back together, and everything but the volume control will work.

3. Like a gremlin, if you feed them, get them wet, or expose them to light after a certain time they WILL turn into complete monsters.

4. If they throw up all over the place or smear poop all over the bathroom it will make you vomit... unless it's your own kid. Then it will make you laugh.

5. Cheerios are not only good, but they are good FOR you.

6. "You can never have too much Kleenex" is not just a motto for the perverted.

7. If she's sitting in the corner, grunting, and turning read, it's okay. Just let her go, she didn't swallow a penny. Wait 2-minutes then give her to her mom.

8. There is such a thing a baby language. However, only the baby's parents can understand it.

9. Don't shake them after meals, and take their diapper off as close to the tub as possible. (Also applies to the elderly).

10. When they aren't saying anything be afraid... be very, very afraid... (Also applies to Finns)

11 - The first thing a toddler will do when left to their own devices is play with something you don't want them to play with, or go somewhere you don't want them to go. It's like they can read your mind.
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Old 04-17-2007, 08:19 PM   #11
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so true Cali... you can put them a totally child proof room and they will find the 1 thing that wasn't actually child proof within seconds... rather uncanny. Childproofed things are boring.

-Arrian
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Old 04-17-2007, 08:42 PM   #12
viagra-kaufen

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Oldie but still appropriate having had two kids ages 2 and 7.

Toddler's Property Laws

TODDLER'S PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, Its mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, It's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I am doing or building something,all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

~~ Author Unknown ~~
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Old 04-17-2007, 09:01 PM   #13
uncoosesoge

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They also seem to know the difference between toys and "Mommy and Daddy things". My son is far more interested in our real phone, which merely beeps, than his toy phone, which beeps, talks, and will record and play back.
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Old 04-17-2007, 10:46 PM   #14
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Old 04-17-2007, 11:29 PM   #15
sirmzereigMix

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Cali, your boy can call my daughter anytime... though my daughter can never call yours. I don't want the long distance bills

Good ones Ogie
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Old 04-18-2007, 10:50 AM   #16
Filmania

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Originally posted by Japher
Cali, your boy can call my daughter anytime... though my daughter can never call yours. I...I have a daughter?
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Old 04-18-2007, 07:22 PM   #17
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you must of had some crappy car rides...
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:14 AM   #18
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same with Josie... that, and we give her sleep pills every 3 hours.
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:37 AM   #19
CiccoineFed

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Originally posted by Japher
We are about to learn if giving a 2 year old 2 snicker doodles an hour before bedtime is a good idea... wifey puts her to bed


I have a four year old and ANY pop or major candy in the couple of hours pre-bedtime can be a BAD BAD BAD idea
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:41 AM   #20
spineeupsenry

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Yall are evil!!! Dammit that stuff was threatned to us with child abuse when mine were babies.
Its funny i do kinda agree with kid here, i ws caught with out a bottle an hour after we got going the kidwas yeling, only thing left was breast feeding which is hard enough to do sitting still let alone moving in a car but it worked, only bad thing is the ticket that came along with the kid not being restrained. i wasnt driving of course, but siting in the back seat. I figured Sitting on the side of the road in the middle of now where was less safe then driving with a kid attached.
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