[BashBeissedat]

I would like to see what the general public’s opinion on this matter is. I had a career change years ago from a male dominant profession to one that is female dominated. All of my peers, immediate executives and employees are female. At various times through the year they all want to go out after work for drinks.

Right now my staff wants to get together and go out next week; they want me to come along. The problem I have is that none of them are bringing their husbands; I’d be the only guy going.

I’ve turned them down because, “I’m not comfortable attending being the only male” and none of them want to bring their spouses along. They want it just for those of us that work together so we can “talk shop”.

In the past when we’ve gotten together there have been spouses or partners there and I didn’t have a problem. This time I’m feeling that it’s inappropriate. Yet, none of them see it that way.

What do you all think? Am I out of line or is this a big no-no?

[Xfxhbcxp]

Have you gotten any vibe from these ladies that the outing could be anything else?

It seems weird that they want to go to a bar to "talk shop", especially since they want you to go.

Of course if we turn the gender around and say it's all guys I have been in situations where they wanted to all get together and go to a strip club to "talk shop". However there were more lap dances and dollar stuffing than shop talk.

[JaK_MarkoV_Pi]

Go with your gut. If you feel it isn't on the up and up it doesn't really matter if it is. Your perspective is enough. You will not miss anything by politely excusing yourself. Just be busy.

[cigsstorenick]

I have been in work situations where I was the only guy in the company of females. This was years ago when I was still drinking. And we went to a bar after work. And yes I felt uncomfortable myself. Initially I didn't because we actually were there to discuss work issues. But over the course of a few rounds the talk became less and less about work and I was treated to the women canoodling about their spouses and significant others. As in the more liquor they we downing they started asking me questions as in "You being a guy, what would you say when..."

Also when I went to get a round for us some guy came up to me and started giving me the "man business" like some Pepe Lepew rerun. " kept saying stupid stuff to me like..."Ah...got your pick of the litter, dude...''crap like that.

On the whole it made me feel uncomfortable the longer it went on. I eventually excused myself and left.

Of course not every instance is like what I went through. But I didnt feel real good about it. I figure had I stayed eventually one of the more drunker women would have started hitting on me (as they started asking me personal questions about my love life, etc)and I didn't wan't to be in that position..

[Xfxhbcxp]

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[cigsstorenick]

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[BashBeissedat]

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[BashBeissedat]

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[JaK_MarkoV_Pi]

Not going is the best way to avoid any kind of misunderstanding. I wouldn't have said anything about why I couldn't go, I would have made myself busy. Did the event happen already?

[BashBeissedat]

Yea, it happened three nights ago.

[ziIReIGS]

My first thought was that you going could more likely set you up for a sexual harrassment suit. Also, I know I am super suspicious, etc. But I can't help wondering IF they ARE excluding spouses to put you in a position where one of them, who might have a "thing" for you, could make a move. Or some other underhanded purpose. When women work together and team up, anythings possible. I just think it smells a bit fishy. I mean you're not the CIA and your spouses are not rowdy toddlers. Why would they care if the spouses were there? You could tell them you have to attend a baby shower or something that evening. Go with your gut and you'll probably be safer!

[ziIReIGS]

Oops. Didn't read far enough! Sorry

[Zdfjpbth]

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[DeedPatmeda]

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[FloareTraurne]

I agree...better not to talk too much about gender. It's okay to say you would prefer spouses to come along...my opinion anyway