[jessyhalm]

I didn't want to hijack Cam's thread of the best and worst too much but wanted to start a co-thread regarding the best/worst from the Cellar. Be it seeing shows, playing a shows or even just amusing anecdotes from the bar (or the couch if you're feeling risque.)

[Garry Richardson]

The worst - last night it was that table at the back that would not shut the fuck up. Why is there always someone who is totally oblivious to the fact that the rest of the room is intent on listening to the music and not their inane conversation?

Best - when I got to toss a drunk about a month ago (see above).

[valiumcheepval]

I did a night at the Cellar a few years ago that was plagued by drunks. It was late in the evening and the crowd was thinning out, so they probably seemed noisier than they actually were.

Anyway, they started shouting out requests (jazz, thank god). The first was "Song For My Father." We played it, and actually had fun with it (I even remembered the counterline from the original Horace Silver recording), then they started yelling for "Green Dolphin Street." We started it in "C" and the trumpet player (Norm Quinn) took a solo. Meanwhile I started observing the drunks at their table. One guy was necking furiously with his girlfriend, then started licking her face. I mean licking it like an ice cream cone. Suddenly it's my turn to solo, only I'm so discombobulated by this car wreck in front of me that I start playing my solo in Eb. Took me about 8 bars to figure out what was wrong.

[jessyhalm]

Hahah... I remember one night when I first started going there, way back in the day, and there was a couple in front of us and obviously they had no interest in what was going on but were doing the obligitory dinner before going home to get it on. So there was hand holding, and footie and arm carassing which gradually progressed into him rubbing her breas and her shirt was rather loose and low cut and at one point I swear he had some fingers down her shirt, anyways when their dinner showed up they both turned to their server and said "Can we have it to go!?" - at least they were quiet!

[AntonioXYZ]

Steve, that wasn't me was it? Or did I just dream that?

[jessyhalm]

If you'd seen the girl you might have

[ReneCM]

Most people remember the time a few years ago when I actually bartended at the Cellar for a couple months in the summer. It was a great job, actually... I made drinks, learned a lot about wine and booze, got to talk to people and see the best jazz around. I often got shit from the people I was working with for not getting drinks up fast enough, usually because I would be watching the music.

Anyway, one night this guy came in alone and sat at the bar and started chatting me up. Seemed like an OK guy. He starts ordering beer, followed by Scotch. He asks me to reccomend a scotch. I say "Oban is the best one we have" he says "I'll have a double..." Double Oban costs $16. He sucks down two.

You can see where this is going... at the end of the set (I think it was Ross's band) we're turning over the room. I look for my guy at the bar... nobody there. His coat is gone. I'm thinking "maybe he just went for a smoke"... but he seemed weird, had had a lot to drink and maybe had just split. So I run outside. He's not there. I ask the people in the smoke pit "did you see a guy run up the stairs?" they're like "yeah... he just ran by"... So I BOLT up the stairs, around the corner, down the street and I see him running down the alley.

"HEY!!!!!!" he stops dead in his tracks... I've got him, dead to rights. "You just ran out on a $52 tab, buddy".

"Oh... man... I'm sorry... its just everything was feeling so free in there..."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't, and uh... you have to pay. Or y'know... we can go back inside and I can call the police."

"How much is it?"

"Fifty Two bucks." He pulls out his wallett.... he's got a TON of cash. He gives me a fifty and a twenty. I turned on my heel and stormed off. I was NOT bringing him any change.

Pretty hard to pick a "best" from all the great shit I've seen at the Cellar.

[hernkingAnank]

Wasn't that a best?

[uchetrip]

Quote:

[sposteTipsKage]

A singer came to the club who shall remain nameless. An african american woman. Her race at this point is not important but it will be in a few minutes so bare with me. This is a woman that has pestered me for a gig 4 years. Despite my polite attempts to tell her that I have received a package and if something comes up I would call. I also have explained that The Cellar is primarily an instrumental room, no because I don't like singers but because there are many more vocal rooms than there are instrumental rooms. Im prould that The Cellar lets musicians play what they want and how loud they want to play it. This woman seems to think that because she recorded with Duke Ellington (HORRIBLY OUT OF FREAKING TUNE) that she come in and drop names and just be handed gigs. She barged her way in without a reservation last night, accosted my sister and proceeded to tell other customers how bad the service at The Cellar is. This natually got me quite upset. I let her have two freebies (jabs) and then the third one I was going to come over. She luckily quieted down and we managed to get all the people that she had butted in front of in so all was good. During the last set in between one of the tunes she yelled out "let a soul sister get up and sing." Highly inappropriate of course but the crowd just kind of laughed and that was that. Then Michael Blake very eloquently stated that "us saxophone players often don't need vocalist because our instruments our vocalists." The crowd cheered and that was the end of that. At the end of the night the vibe was great. Everyone had a great night and were all very happy. I just happened to be in my office writing cheques for the guys and in walks this woman. I said "excuse me! What are you doing in here?" to which she replied "Im using your phone." Cory - "Well first of all you ask me to use my phone, secondly you don't ever barge into my office unannounced or univited, this is a place of business and for employess. To my knowledge you have never worked at The Cellar." This woman then proceed to call me and I quote "an arrogant, white, racist, bastard!" I said that I agreed that at times I can come across as arrogant, I'm definitely white and I can be a bastard sometimes but the racist part confused me and got me quite fired up. Its an interesting position to be with and one that needs to be handled somewhat carefully. I mean I'm a white, heterosexual male. My sister has made me realized that Im the most priveliged person around. I haven't had to deal with much of anything and I certainly haven't had to deal with the things that this woman has had to deal with in her lifetime. She accused me of never hiring black musicians and that "her people" were the ones that started this music. At this point I was tired and very angry. I slammed down the Charles McPherson CD, The Tilde Webb CD with FATHEAD, The Dr. Lonnie Smith CD, told her to look at my bartender (she is african american) and then listed off the names of Benny Golson, Gary Bartz, Denzal Sinclaire, Quincy Davie, Herlin Riley, Red Holloway, Mulgrew Miller etc. You get the picture. Her response was "they have all played here?" This shows you how much she has supported the club. She then proceeded to push me and walk out of office. I followed her so I could assure that she would leave. She then swore at me in front of the customers and I simply opened the door and told her she was never welcome at The Cellar ever again. A first in five years. Someone has been officially banned from The Cellar.

[ReneCM]

Excellent! Wish I'd been there!!!

[clitlyphype]

Quote:

[w3QHxwNb]

Quote:

[sposteTipsKage]

I have been sushed several times at my club. Oh well, what can I say?

[jessyhalm]

My personal favourite (although I had shushed Cory on other ocassions) was when Kenny Garrett was playing at the club. The was hyped a fair bit and held some connection becaus eCory had idolised Kenny a fair bit before having him show up for this show. Anyways, like the third tune in the first set of the first night, the band launches into a ballad. And guess who's cell phone rings..... I'll let you guess...

[hernkingAnank]

Cory I was told (although I don't remember it and therefore, question it) that at Georges Spaghetti House in Toronto I used to purposely order a cappuccino any time Steve Wallace took a bass solo, just to be a shit disturber. This was my way of letting Steve know I was there and (not) listening over the sound of a really loud coffee making process which tended to infuriate the patrons but fell on the deaf ears of the staff. It made Steve laugh though and say out loud 'Ryga must be here' or so I'm told.

Cam

[newwebstar]

Never failed -- bass solo started, someone ordered a martini. **Shukka shukka shukka**. I think at least once I absentmindedly was shaking (the martini) to the beat. Seem to recall some chuckles around that.

[maxtp]

Cam, I thought that it was actually you and Steve who used to order brandies (where they would heat up the glasses using the milk steamer from the cap machine) whenever another certain bass player used to take a solo. But what would I know, I married the bartender. Or so I'm told.

[hernkingAnank]

THAT WAS IT!! Now I remember! That makes much more sense - thanks.