[fedelwfget]

Get him charged with trespassing.

Play hardball. Don't be a *****.

You can also get him charged with vandalism/destruction of property, I'm sure.

[Heaneisismich]

Holy ****, what an *******.

should I give in to the temptation to roll my trash can in front of his house and throw the stuff he put in it on his yard right before the open house?

On the one hand, that might be fun. On the other, don't you WANT this shitty neighbor to have a successful open house, sell, and move?

-Arrian

[XzBZB2UV]

Get him charged with trespassing.

Play hardball. Don't be a *****.

You can also get him charged with vandalism/destruction of property, I'm sure.

Great minds, and stuff, Asher.

When I told her to confront him about it, I also said to speak in terms of trespassing, theft and vandalism.

Arrian, you're right, but I'll probably still opt to cause him the most immediate misery possible. Maybe do it on Saturday, where he has time to fix things, but still has to go through the work and hassle of doing so.

[vaalmerruutel]

You could go kill his grass with poison to form a swastika on his yard. That would work.

[unsamiSlini]

Effective and profitable.

[xochex]

Hmmm, out of those two, I think I'd go with the swastika, (gee surprise) but I'd use fertalizer instead of poison since it's a touch more descrete and from what I've heard, harder to repair.

[Vkowefek]

Listen to me because I'm only going to tell this to you once. First thing you do is have your wife place "no trespassing" signs on your property and tell her to purchase a Longbow T-76 sniper rifle with armor piercing rounds. Next time your neighbor enters the property, have your wife shoot him in the throat precisely where the vocal chords are positioned and call the police immediately afterwards emphasizing that a stranger was entering your property illegally and that she feared for her life. Now while she is waiting for the police to arrive, she must watch him bleed to death and feel the rush and adrenaline of taking another life. She must look into his eyes as they loose that spark of life. She must savour the moment of triumph.

Buy his townhouse during the estate sale, burn it to the ground, then claim the insurance money. Your neighbors will never, ever f*ck with your lawn again.

This plan is ridiculous. A shot in the throat from the T-76 would almost assuredly tear a large chunk of the man's spinal cord out, along with possibly doing significant damage to the brain stem. He would die long before he had a chance to bleed out.

[inownsuipsy]

So Solomwi, which of these ideas are you going go with?

[Tactattcahhaw]

So Solomwi, which of these ideas are you going go with?

Right now I'm thinking all of them. For the swastika, I thought I'd use gasoline and set it on fire, just to give it that extra touch. Then the sniper rifle. Then the land mines, to prevent future recurrences.

[Snweyuag]

Right now I'm thinking all of them. For the swastika, I thought I'd use gasoline and set it on fire, just to give it that extra touch. Then the sniper rifle. Then the land mines, to prevent future recurrences.

Make sure you name each phase Operation ______________.

[margoaroyo]

Develop a love for lawn ornaments.

And nude sun bathing in the front.

[Cyncceply]

He's gay, not black. Otherwise I'd agree.

Then make this into a wooden sculpture and burn it on his lawn:

[zdlupikkkdi]

Advertise an orgy at the house on Craigslist. Make the starting time during the open house.

[sbrthrds]

Go to the pound, get a few dogs, kill them, then stick condoms up their butts and leave them on the front lawn and roof?

I'd suggest do this with pandas but I don;t think you can get them in pounds, and zoos aren't known for lending animals to people.

[TeLMgNva]

Develop a love for lawn ornaments. ...

Yep. Several hundred Pink Flamingos all over your lawn will class up the entire neighborhood.

[gardenerextraordinaire]

It's responses like this and Riesstiu's that remind me why I come to 'Poly for advice. The swastika is nice, too. The only problem is that I'd hate to saddle some new neighbor with it if he does sell.

This is how you make sure to get the "right" kind of new neighbors.

[Lipitorseffec]

Did it make your yard look better? Why the hell won't somebody take it upon themselves to do my yardwork. If you live in the U.S. you will probably have to go through about 20 open houses before it sells

Don't know. I haven't seen it yet. I did find out just a little while ago that he came back to the house about 8:30 last night and handed my wife two dollars "for any charges that may have been incurred on your power bill." She refused it and shut the door on him.

[Grennios]

He sounds like a jackass. I would give him whatever help he needs to get him out of the neighborhood. Then kick his ass after he moves

[putza]

... and sit on your porch with a shotgun and a bottle of really cheap whiskey.

[adultcheee]

Don't know. I haven't seen it yet. I did find out just a little while ago that he came back to the house about 8:30 last night and handed my wife two dollars "for any charges that may have been incurred on your power bill." She refused it and shut the door on him.

No ****ing way! This guy is an absolute treasure.

Ok, I hereby greenlight Operation Mind****.

-Arrian