[pissmanvd]

I propose that Jerry Springer is the most honest show on television. He doesn't even have chairs on the stage anymore, as if to try to pretend like anything is going to be calmly discussed.

This morning was the best, though. Two scrappy hillbillies (Jerry's title of the day) are completely squared off, jabs, punches, haymakers, headlocks, you name it. The ref, err, I mean, security dude half-assedly stands in between them (but to the outside) for a full two minutes. It was practically a full boxing round. After an eternity, the skinny guy almost connects with a kick to the head, and the security guy mutters, "Remember, no kicking."

No kicking! I knew it! I knew there were rules. They get to throw haymakers for two solid minutes, but the ref ends the round after an attempted kick.

So fantastic. I don't need a snooze function on my alarm anymore. I just turn on Springer after my alarm sounds for the first time. Been doing this for about two weeks now.