[Hofonom]

WTFP?!?™

[Cemeuncex]

Originally posted by Pekka
...

Anyway, I just went to the bathroom, was getting some coffee as you do,... You go to the bathroom to get coffee?

[Brutton]

Ask Kuci. He is teh expert

[Zmniubqr]

I have strategies, just not a fart strategy...

[cialviagra]

yeah it's a good strategy. It's true too, not everyone thinks the same, because the first or the second booth are usually the most dirtiest.

Sometimes the 5th might be dirty as well, because some jerk went all over the place thinking, "no one ever comes here so it's ok", because they're not afraid of getting caught. Because nothing is worse than making a mess/smell, and then having the next person see your face before they enter.

I think for these purposes, you should always carry a mask of some sort.

[clorkergo]

Zoid, I hear you. SO YOU DO HAVE A STRATEGY! But it is grossly insufficient as of now. Don't live your life blind. Have a strategy. It doesn't work like "I have a strategy when I'm in a bar/work/street/with the wife/etc". No. You can't turn on and off the strategy. Strategy IS a way to LIVE. Get it? How do you turn that off? Unless you want to be blind that is.

But I know what you mean. You just need to develop more strategies, maybe abstract enough to suit every situation you encounter. Then you get more sophisticated when you alter that generic guideline and set of policies. Then you really come into a super human when you contradict yourself in weird places, but that's cool, because it actually is part of the strategy. You see? Order in chaos and vice versa. That's a strategy.

[slimfifa]

Originally posted by Lorizael
My strategy started out as an accident, but became a long term investment.

Go to the bathroom early in the day, after you've eaten breakfast or something, and have the pick of the litter because no one else has used the bathrooms yet. Then, when you leave the stall, leave the door to the stall nearly closed. Most people will simply ignore this stall when they come into the bathroom and choose another instead.

So when you come back into the bathroom after lunch or before you leave for work, you should find your half-closed stall still just as fresh as you left it in the morning. It sort of becomes your own personal toilet. Did you pass this strategy on to your favourite co-worker after you quit your job?

[brulpcoersero]

Originally posted by Pekka

so anyway. You need strategies. What's yours? i always go for the middle or 3rd stall. it's always clean. seriously.

[KatoabamyHant]

FART STRATEGY 2039!

[arcalmanard]

well that is good, because if you shat while farting, i think someone would notice.

[Abaanto]

Originally posted by Lorizael
My coworkers may not yet know that I have quit. But my supervisor does. I'm afraid that means the tradition will be lost. I've also quit my job. What a glorious feeling, eh

[chodeasyday]

I didn't read the entire OP, but in my opinion the bathroom is a fart zone. I have no need to go into a stall to rip one. By entering a bathroom, you accept responsibility of smelling bad things. This is a accepted agreement.

[Sadsidioribre]

how much do you mind letting other people hear your ripping / crapping noises?

i usually try to make noises only when i'm alone in the bathroom, or if i'm not, i drop a few squares of TP in the toilet so when I poop it doesn't make a huge splash noise.

but that's cause many of the places i'm in have unisex bathrooms.


i also agree with booth 4 out of 5 strategy.


farting not in the toilet is something that i do but it is problematic.

i can sometime fart in my office, and then I would open the window and turn on the AC to make new air replace the bad air.

Most annoying is when you're all alone in your office, the door shut, not expecting anyone for hours so you let it rip... then suddenly this hot chick comes in to discuss something!!
AHH CRAP!

I usually jump on my feet and say "hey, i've been meaning to visit your office, let's go talk in the hallway" and forcefully pull her out of my office with me.

[malishka1025]

Originally posted by Dis
I didn't read the entire OP, but in my opinion the bathroom is a fart zone. I have no need to go into a stall to rip one. By entering a bathroom, you accept responsibility of smelling bad things. This is a accepted agreement. QFT

[NewYorkDoctorD]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui


QFT Exactly, however... I mean that is acceptable there. Sure. But if someone comes in when you're ripping, how do you dela with it? JUst ignore them? You can't ignore them. You can ACT as if you're ignoring them but in fact you're very aware of the situation and thus making it only worse for yourself. Then you have to cross that person, and because the bathroom has to be small, your nipples touch. Now that's just embarrasing already. And what do you do then? You feel ashamed.

How about not feeling ashamed at all? I mean do you just walk in and fart and then walk out? WTF? OR do you make poses? Do you squat a little, maybe lift the other leg up first? Or do you just stand erect like a stick, fart few with no emotion as if you were just standing there, waiting the bus, and leave?

You guys are the weird ones. If I ever come across you guys, standing like you were in a crowd, farting like that's the thign to do with no emotion, I make sure our nipples touch and you HAVE to acknowledge my presence. Just to make you know that I know. I'm a sadist like that.

[ReggieRed]

I mean... just acknowledge, say, "your ass just bursted, didn't it? Smells like dead rats. Dead rats that are wet. DUDE get your ass checked out!". At least then you would deport the elephant in the room and would be able to make a sad joke about it. "Yeah, I think my ass is sick, too!".

"Why are we talking about my ass anyway?", "I know, but it's such a nice ass." "ok but I'm not sure if I want you to touch it... OK let's make a deal. You can touch my butt and I can touch your boobs, yes?"

And sex is on.

Then you have to cross that person, and because the bathroom has to be small, your nipples touch.

Seriously. WTFp?!

[Idonnaink]

Originally posted by Pekka
Siro, dude, it always happens, doesn't it!? It happens too frequently when you actually fart in your office that someone comes in like few seconds later. Why?

First when you feel like letting some air out, you don't. YOu think someone might come in. Then few mi nutes pass and you're like damn, I should have farted then because no one would have come in! Then you go on about it for some while and then, "ok who cares...". And that's when they have to come in. That's the exact moment.

Oh well, it happens. It's amazingly embarrasing, isn't it? And it doesn't help exactly when people are then polite, they know you just shat your pants like a maniac, and they know you're embarrased now because you know they know, and they act lke nothing happened.

AND THAT MAKES IT WORSE!!!!!

I mean... just acknowledge, say, "your ass just bursted, didn't it? Smells like dead rats. Dead rats that are wet. DUDE get your ass checked out!". At least then you would deport the elephant in the room and would be able to make a sad joke about it. "Yeah, I think my ass is sick, too!".

"Why are we talking about my ass anyway?", "I know, but it's such a nice ass." "ok but I'm not sure if I want you to touch it... OK let's make a deal. You can touch my butt and I can touch your boobs, yes?"

And sex is on.

That's wayyy better than "Uhmm hi, I was just wondering..." Farting leading to sex

[E4qC1qQ5]

I approve of this thread

[Serttyfd]

you are correct.

[imnaone]

Vet, I don't mean to get any credit for the return of Zylka, but think about it. How can you not read a thread that says, "Bathroom Strategies".

You know how vital this is? No man on earth would turn away from it. We need to know this, we need to know the strategies. Ok? Essential, vital, pure, real, you pick what you want but bathroom strategies is a topic rarely discussed, yet something we do and I'm just ... my altruistic agenda is to just simply share my knowledge and hopefully learn something from you and as a result we all are better bathroom players. Who wouldn't want that? THis is a public service, I should actually get paid to do this.