[SzefciuCba]

Man guys...

I always bottle stuff up, problems with family etc to be strong for those around me but this time I just need to get this out I think

had a pretty uneventful summer really, just the usual up until last sat
Completely out of the blue on a pals bday night out I 'hooked up' with this girl, completely by surprised 'cause she's unbelievably stunning and I'm well......not

So I was taken aback, things seemed to be going well, positive texts etc, met up with her twice I think during the week, I said to myself slow down but I like her alot so we made plans to go out yest (Sunday)

Again things seemed fine, talking away etc, bought her a few drinks, but then something seems to have changed, she went really 'tired', now I don't doubt she was tired, but I also felt she wasn't being completely honest, was maybe fed up, I asked her and she said no just tired, so I thought this isn't good and said lets just head home. Taxi home seemed weird too, we were close but not the same.

So basicly long story short, I really like this girl, I mean REALLY, she seemed to really like me at the start, don't know what's changed in a week but I'm not feeling good anymore.

Last night when I got home I stood outside my house for ages just staring up, completely numb, I honestly felt quite close to a breakdown, never felt like it in my life. I've dealt with alot in my life so far, DONT GET ME WRONG, I'm VERY LUCKY and very grateful for everything I have, family can be a bit screwed up and some stuff has happened but I know I'm nowhere near what some folk would say is bad, but just saying I've been through alot, will go through alot in future no doubt but this has really knocked me back.

I was lying in bed last night thinking...why go back to uni? what's the point. Struggled to even eat today really. Luckily I've been having to work so that;s taking my mind off it and my best mate has been there to listen to my ranting, but just need to get this off my chest.

Probably makes no sense this post, probably missed alot of key info out but you get the idea

Sorry for rant, I just feel like **** right now