Cats vs Dogs
 

Chris will like thishttp://discussworldissues.com/forums...lies/wink1.gif



*Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





*Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe, for now.

REPOST LOL GTFO

tl;dr gtfo

Yes, that's how it is.

My poor cats are freaked out today. We have engineers in fitting a new boiler in the house - so the cats have just spent the last 3 hours under the couch.

I could not leave them there as they would likely piss on the carpet, so me and the 2 engineers just spent a fun 20 minutes herding cats from the lounge to the bathroom, where they are now shut in for the rest of the day.

Don't try herding cats - I speak from personal experience when I say that they are terribly uncooperative [rofl]

YOUR CATS ARE PUSSIES!

No pun intended.

erm yes chris its very difficult to heard cats, did you not realise they are not sheep?http://discussworldissues.com/forums.../confused1.gifhttp://discussworldissues.com/forums...es/tongue1.gif

My dog will eat your cat!

http://wolves.us/images/lokipuppy.jpg
http://wolves.us/images/lokipuppy2.jpg

I don't really herd my cat, I just chase after him and grab him. He's like a dog, so he doesn't go berserk or anything.

Did the utility company pay for it under the service contract? I know you had problems with them when you moved into the house.

My cat is a dog.

The original boiler in our house was rented from the heating company (it bascially came that way when we bought the house). We had this removed yesterday, and our own new boiler which we bought was then installed.

It was bloody expensive, but at least its a) new, b) ours, and c) raises the value of the house.

Everything seems fine now - I'm just running round the house bleeding radiators to try and get all the air out of the system....

We now save ourselves 45 euro a month in rental costs (the new service contract will cost us 50 euro a YEAR - plus the new boiler is fully insured for the first 5 years of its life). Its also much more efficent than the old boiler, so we should see a reduction on our energy bills.