[Katoabralia]

Apparently, I've failed to find the middle ground between professional appearance and relaxed comfort.

My boss and I were standing at the front of our second building yesterday afternoon, observing the commercial-grade fence our neighbour is so generously building down the middle of our driveway so that no one with a vehicle wider than a Smart car can access our property. While standing there in complete awe, we watched a lady cop in a ghost car take down a crackhead about 200 feet down the street.

Well, as soon as my boss hopped in his truck and drove back to out other building, she turned her car around, veered into driveway (as much as she could), jumped the curb, and almost drove me over! Unsure what in the hell she was doing, I stepped out of the way, only to have her roll down the window and proceed to attempt to jack me up!

"We've had a report of suspicious looking people in this area wearing backwards baseball caps." she commanded.

I wasn't sure where to correct her first. To accuse petty dealers on the strip of being "suspicious" is giving them far too much credit, I think. "Plainly obvious looking people" would be a more accurate description. More importantly, the hat I was wearing was vintage memorabilia from the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto.

I suppose she thought she pegged me when she said, "I've been watching you for the past couple minutes, standing there with your backpack."

I almost started to worry that this cop was about to confiscate my backpack and discover that I was infact carrying a consealed dayplanner and two sealed paycheques. Her superior powers of observation were clearly impressive. Perhaps she would not have immediately associated me with the lad she picked up just minutes ago, if she had noticed my clean hands, full set of teeth, and lack of open sores on my face.

The situation escalated when she drew her intimidating notepad and asked for my full name and date of birth. Coincidentally, my ride finally arrived and had pulled up directly behind the cruiser. Though her antics were entertaining, I certainly wasn't about to disclose the full details of my life infront of her suspect who was anxiously listening to the conversation. I leaned in the window and said, "Actually, I work right here and my ride has just arrived. See ya."

I couldn't tell if she was pissed or embarassed. I guess I'll know for certain if I get lit up by her tazer on Tuesday morning.

I think I'll bring my backpack again.