[scoundtrack]

Well I simply returned from RB's Nocal workshop... and the first evening following the course had my first bout of sleep paralysis! I did so a 1 / 2 of power and an hour or so work then lay out on my part wishing to stimulate a WILD. The following thing I was conscious of was of being drawn out of a desire right into a half-awake state, and I believed that I was under attack with a negative thing of some sort. I'd been focusing on an obstruction under my left ear before sleeping, and like I'd an enormous cloud of cotton packed against that ear, causing me to be deaf today it felt. I thought sinking / choked in a really energetically "dense", and way as I often feel throughout a projection response. I was not afraid of being paralyzed, however the considered being susceptible and available to "Attack" was scary to me. And because it is simple to leap for this conclusion over these activities, I also thought that I was dying. That some thing was causing me to be deaf and out of breath was inexorably presing down on me, killing me. There clearly was sort of wavering between your two states... There was my actual self, experiencing this awfulness and "impending feeling of doom" and there was the scattering of desire memories... skateboarding via a shop and containers were flying off the shelves at me... Having this "bad area" of the wall and walking up some steps begin to deafen my bad remaining ear... lying belly down on the bed, gripping the sheets, and feeling the sheets actually draw me down beneath the bed as though a beast under the bed were taking me under. Meanwhile I actually do keep in mind that my conscious home thought 2 or 3 unique power spikes along with a rising of "heat" in the centre center. And I recall grimacing, and fighting in the future awake, and knowing that I was grimacing but had zero feeling of my facial muscles carrying this out (as though they certainly were dead). The paralysis didn't bother me... it was worries to be weak under attack that was so troubling. I was anxiously attempting to remember things to do... trying to ensure that I possibly could in to the bath or anything to rouse myself. Each time I tried to fall straight back asleep and flake out, the terrible dense/ deaf/ suffocating sensation would rise up again and I'd die or I felt like I just couldn't surrender to it. It took me probably 10 minutes to actually come awake and come "to" and come up with what had happened. My sincere experience and intuition, assembling every thing I know already about OBE's and sleep paralysis and so on, is that I wasn't under assault of any sort. I was also conscious of this chance while under paralysis, really a brave seeming point during the time, that I recognized that the fear I was feeling was probably only my actual self and astral self getting the ole feedback loop of concern / tug of war. The "dense" emotions and rises / temperature spikes says in my experience that I'd a genuine honest-to-goodness OBE and that was my access / exit... and the desire memories be seemingly little parts of the OBE, the several darkness memories I possibly could access of the knowledge. I actually do not understand how to connect the "deaf" experience to something apart from that the obstruction might have been creating some issues with the entry / exit and troubled equally my physical and astral body. Worries in the desires, the "pulling sheets" feeling seemingly have been my actual self spinning me in. I'd to switch on some lights, get myself up, surf the web a bit and eat anything to reorient myself back to the planet and to actually flush out the concept this was an adverse experience. I actually want to go in step, since I do entire heartedly genuinely believe that a rest paralysis experience may be the flip side of the OBE cash and ergo countable being an critical experience. That and having never experienced it before, I now understand what it's like and may identify it and demystify it for myself. I did more power work and settled back in and went back to sleep, as this had just occurred an hour or so after I went to sleep. And it virtually happened again! Only this time around I was ready because of it, and I was a lot more of an observer of everything. This time around was unusual though.. I was lying there hearing myself breathing and I was making and coughing terrible sounds as though I'd a poor case of pneumonia. I remember thinking very demonstrably "I know since I'm in excellent health.., that isn't my actual self. so why does it feel so difficult to breathe? Do I've an astral group of lungs?" Then I became conscious of a tough steel band or line sensation between my teeth, so I reached up between my teeth and removed it.. and it felt such as for instance a hard band. As I believed that I was awake.. that was extremely complicated in my experience. "How may I be feeling this? Stuff can't be brought back by you from the astral!" and I put (what felt like a little round band, like a bit of jewelry) onto the nightstand. Obviously, there clearly was no band and no wheezy lungs and my physical arm hadn't been moved by me at all. I've no idea what the band point was about... and I'd enjoy any feedback on the wheezy lungs trend?? The remainder of the night time was spent having all sorts of strange longs for the course and continuously getting out of bed in a cold sweat. I do feel confident that next time I've a rest paralysis occurrence I'll be better in a position to identify it for what it's. And like I said, I'm getting it in step and have dismissed it as anything to hesitate of, since the way I look at it... I'm in a great way being that it's the flip side of an effective OBE, I feel. It really rattled me a little.