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300 Reasons Why God Doesn't Exist
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09-03-2006, 12:16 PM
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KhJOHbTM
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Oct 2005
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The next set:
ARGUMENT FROM THE HUMAN SPIRIT
The human spirit doesn’t exist.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
DONAHUE'S ARGUMENT
Check out this video segment.
Now how can anyone watch that and believe in God?
Is the caller there?
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ANTI-CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT
If God exists, then unbelievers will be tortured forever.
I don’t like that idea.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY
Pots can give orders to the potter as long as the pots think they are morally superior somehow.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM PRODUCT EVOLUTION
Barbie dolls evolved.
If Barbie dolls evolved, then so did plants and animals.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM PAROCHIALISM
God is supposedly everywhere.
I haven’t personally seen God.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
GOD DOESN’T EXIST! GET USED TO IT!
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
Ask theists how the universe came to be.
Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
Continue process until the theist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
You win!
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY
How could God exist, you bozo?
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE OF HISTORY
The Bible is completely false.
Therefore, the Bible is toilet paper.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION
If God exists, then he would be bringing people who have been decapitated back to life.
No one who has been decapitated has been brought back to life.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM BIOGENESIS
Where did life come from, dummy?
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM STEADFAST ATHEISM
A lot of really cool people didn’t believe in God their entire lives.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS
Christians say that Jesus is their best friend.
I'm lonely, but Jesus hasn’t showed up.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM MONTY PYTHONISH ARGUMENTATION (aka ARGUMENT FROM CONTRADICTON aka ARGUMENT FROM THE AUTOMATIC GAINSAYING OF ANYTHING THE OTHER PERSON SAYS)
God doesn’t exist.
[Theist's counterargument]
No he doesn’t.
[Theist's counterargument]
No he doesn’t!
[Theist's counterargument]
NO HE DOESN’T!!!
[Theist gives up and goes home]
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION
Here’s what some theists said about what God is: (a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby. (b) The love of a mother for her child. (c) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties. (d) How I feel when I look at a sunset. (e) The taste of ice cream on a hot day.
These are all silly and superficial.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY
We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that theists are laughable morons.
Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about atheism -- but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.
Therefore, theists are laughable morons.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF SUPERIORITY
If God exists, then Christians are superior beings, since they are "special" in a cosmic sense.
But Christians aren’t superior. They’re the same as everyone else.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM MORAL STANDARDS
There are no absolute moral standards because God doesn’t exist.
Theists say that there are absolute moral standards.
But that's only because they want to condemn everyone (especially atheists) but themselves as sinners.
Therefore, there are no absolute moral standards.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM HUMAN NECESSITY
Theists say that everyone needs God.
Atheists say that they don’t need God.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (I)
Intellectually, I know that the existence of God is possible, or very probable.
But I must put on the appearance of being cool and intellectual in front of my atheist peers.
Therefore, I must pretend that 1 is false.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM DENYING THE BODY
Theists like to think that they can control their "sinful" desires.
But they're theists, so they can't.
Therefore, some theists feel the need to take no enjoyment in anything because they are always worrying about committing sin.
This just goes to show how their belief in God is damaging to their lives.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM HATE
Some theists hate atheists and atheism.
That's because they believe in God.
Pathetic, aren't they?
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTISTS WHO ARE THEISTS
A certain scientist says that God does exist.
But God doesn’t exist.
Therefore, he cannot be accepted as an expert on the matter, because he is wrong.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM EVIL SPIRITS
I've never had contact with evil spirits.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (II)
Theists say that God does exist.
But they only say that because they want to look holy and righteous in front of their peers.
They don't fool me!
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM HOVIND'S CHALLENGE
Kent Hovind offers $250,000 (which may or may not exist) to anyone who can demonstrate evolution (defined as a natural, acausal origin of the universe) to a reasonable doubt (meaning with 100% certainty, allowing for no other possibilities whatsoever) in front of a neutral committee (handpicked by Hovind himself) and according to certain criteria (carefully worded so as to rule out any possibility whatsoever of the challenge ever being met).
Atheists have dismissed this challenge as false, illogical, ignorant or otherwise bogus.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM INSANITY
No sane person could have thought up Christianity.
Therefore, it was thought up by an insane person or persons.
Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
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