[nasxbrtyol]

The next:

ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)

1. Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
2. Theist: of course.
3. How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
4. Theist: Um, no, not really.
5. Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
6. Theist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
7. With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
8. Theist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
9. I'm glad we all agree.....
10. [Atheist goes on and on and on...]
11. So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
12. Theist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
13. [Atheist continues to go on and on and on...]
14. So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
15. I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
16. [Still going...]
17. ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
18. [Theist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
19. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ALT.ATHEISM ARGUMENT (aka ARGUMENT FROM GENERAL INQUIRY)

1. Question for theist population: [apparently random question]
2. Your answer is wrong.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM PLAGERISM

1. I have written the following to demonstrate the non-existence of God.
2. [Insert plagerized text of someone else’s article]
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM USE OF THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN

1. When it comes to Christians, smearing their reputation is a higher calling than truth.
2. Christians are all dirty, stinking liars.
3. Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM LIMITED VOCABULARY

1. You don’t understand all the big words I use.
2. Therefore, I cannot possibly expect you to understand my refutation of your position.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY

1. [Atheist asks "stumper" question]
2. [Christian answers question]
3. [A lapse of time]
4. [Atheist repeats question]
5. [Christian repeats answer]
6. [A lapse of time]
7. [Atheist repeats question]
8. [Christian repeats answer]
9. [A lapse of time]
10. Christian, you never answered my question.
11. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE ECONOMICS

1. Many Christian nations are poor or currently suffering poor economies.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY

1. I've never had any experiences that can be explained only from the presumption that God exists.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM INSTITUTIONAL LONGETIVITY

1. Atheism has been around for a long time.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INEVITABILITY

1. I have proof that God doesn’t exist.
2. I won't bother to tell you what it is because, being theists, you would be hostile to the conclusion anyway.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX"

1. We cannot prove that we don't live in a Matrix-like world.
2. Therefore we cannot know reality.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SUBJECTIVITY

1. Everything is subjective.
2. No subjective proof can be superior to any other subjective proof.
3. Based upon my subjective opinion, your opinion, that nothing is subjective then, perforce, God isn’t subjective, is false.
4. Therefore, God (objectively) doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM POSTMODERNISM

1. I'm going to prove to you that God doesn’t exist.
2. [Insert any of the other arguments on this page in here]
3. [Theist refutes argument]
4. I cannot disprove God anymore than anyone of us can disprove we really exist in a tangible world.
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exists.

META-DISPROOF

1. This is a disproof of God's existence.
2. If the reader finishes reading this disproof, the non-existence of God will be proven to him/her.
3. If the non-existence of God is proven, then God doesn’t exist.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

DISPROOF BY ANECDOTE

1. Those who believe in God say they can see Him.
2. If God exists, then He must be seen by everyone.
3. I haven’t seen God.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY

1. Some modern historians think that there probably wasn’t somebody named Jesus, maybe.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM DEMONS

1. Some people say that demons were tap-dancing on their roof one day and that prayer made them go away.
2. Therefore, these people are insane.
3. Also, God doesn’t exist.

SAM GIBSON’S... ER... CYGNUS’ ARGUMENT (aka ARGUMENT FROM PI)

1. This verse from the Bible proves that God says pi = 3.
2. I asked some online math experts about this, but they didn’t support me.
3. So I twisted their responses to make it appear that they supported me.
4. Then I made sure to kick people out of my forums and threatened to post their personal information because they tried to show everyone that the math experts didn’t support me, but I said it’s because they didn’t stop using my real name (even though it’s found about a dozen times on my website).
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY

1. I have a large number of arguments against God.
2. One of them is probably true.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM FORTUITOUS COINCIDENCE

1. Theists often show the astronomical odds of something happening.
2. I claim that their odds are false and misrepresentative, and also make reference to the Many Worlds Theory, which I completely believe in even though there is no physical evidence for it nor will evidence ever be found.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM DAVID BLAINE

1. If David Blaine does real magic, then God doesn’t exist.
2. It looked real on his TV special.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM MYSTERIOUS USE OF PREPOSITIONS

1. It is impossible to prove God with your puny theist intellect.
2. I’ll take that puzzled look on your face as proof that I am right.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM TEEN ATHEISM MOVEMENT

1. Theism totally sucks, dude, and if you would pretend that Marilyn Manson is a good band, you would realize that.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TOUNGES

1. Some theists who I see as representing the whole of theism spontaneously speak some jibberish that they claim is some foreign language or another.
2. But no one can understand what they are saying.
3. The only explanation is that they are full of it.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM EUROPEAN HISTORY

1. Many prominent thinkers in pre-modern Europe didn’t believe in God.
2. Let’s just forget about those who did.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN

1. If there is a designer, then God must exist.
2. If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer.
3. [Atheist ignores the watch in forest]
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM (GENERAL) OFFENSE

1. God doesn’t exist.
2. [Theist makes counterarguments]
3. You know what? I am offended.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE TO PRAYER

1. God doesn’t exist.
2. [Theist makes counterarguments and prays for atheist]
3. Take your prayers and shove ‘em where the sun don’t shine.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM

1. I don't know and you don't know either.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist

ARGUMENT FROM LOVE

1. Have you ever fallen in love?
2. [Theist answers, "of course!!"]
3. So what is the cause of love? Evolution is a good enough explanation for me and love is nothing but a chemical reaction in the brain, so it cannot have anything to do with God?
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM IDENTITY (aka PC ARGUMENT)

1. Not believing in God is a central part of my identity.
2. You don't mean to deny my identity do you?
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING

1. Behold, foolish theists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the non-existence of God.
2. [Atheist posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph break]
3. [Theists’ eyes implode]
4. I see that nobody can refute 2.
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM NON-CONFRONTATION

1. I am not here to argue with you theists.
2. But come on, God obviously doesn’t exist.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM EXODUS

1. If the Exodus story has any basis in historical fact, then God exists.
2. I haven’t seen or accepted any evidence that it is.
3. This means the Exodus story is false.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.