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**ASSESTYTEAH** · 07-04-2006, 07:00 AM

What Common Courtesy is to Readers Digest is what they have been conditioned to think. There is where this survey is flawed, it is full of western concepts of 'courtesy'. ie.. turning down the music for respect of your neighbours privacy or saying thank you to the waitress etc....

I agree with Steve here. It is very unfair for a Western based Readers Digest to do such a worldwide survey with the same criteria. We have all been brought up by different groups of people with different values. What is right and proper to us is wrong to other people. What we see as good manners others see as bad. We should never judge people by our own values.

I think one of the things that I learned early on in my backpacking career was a sensitivity to values of people from a different culture to my own. Visiting so many different countries certainly opened my eyes and I never saw things in the same way again.

For example, when I first arrived in China over ten years ago I was shocked at what I saw as disgusting behaviour. People had the habit of blocking one of their nostrils and then blowing the contents of the other onto the ground. I started to think that all Chinese people were uncivilized. However, after I talked to a university professor about this, I soon changed my mind. He made it clear to me that in turn they too found the Western habit of blowing our nose into a handkerchief and then putting that soiled piece of cloth into our pocket, as equally disgusting. It kind of made sense. In fact, while I was in China I blew my nose the Chinese way (albeit more discreetly). And then when I went on to my next country a few months later I again adapted my ways.

Now that I am in Thailand, I do things the Thai way. I don't put my feet up on the seats in the train. I duck my head as I walk past my elders. I take off my shoes when I enter small shops in the country. However, I also keep the Western habits I consider good. I open doors for other people. I say thank you to the bus driver. I hold the door of the elevator open to let other people off first.

07-04-2006, 07:00 AM	#13
ASSESTYTEAH Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 540 Senior Member	What Common Courtesy is to Readers Digest is what they have been conditioned to think. There is where this survey is flawed, it is full of western concepts of 'courtesy'. ie.. turning down the music for respect of your neighbours privacy or saying thank you to the waitress etc.... I agree with Steve here. It is very unfair for a Western based Readers Digest to do such a worldwide survey with the same criteria. We have all been brought up by different groups of people with different values. What is right and proper to us is wrong to other people. What we see as good manners others see as bad. We should never judge people by our own values. I think one of the things that I learned early on in my backpacking career was a sensitivity to values of people from a different culture to my own. Visiting so many different countries certainly opened my eyes and I never saw things in the same way again. For example, when I first arrived in China over ten years ago I was shocked at what I saw as disgusting behaviour. People had the habit of blocking one of their nostrils and then blowing the contents of the other onto the ground. I started to think that all Chinese people were uncivilized. However, after I talked to a university professor about this, I soon changed my mind. He made it clear to me that in turn they too found the Western habit of blowing our nose into a handkerchief and then putting that soiled piece of cloth into our pocket, as equally disgusting. It kind of made sense. In fact, while I was in China I blew my nose the Chinese way (albeit more discreetly). And then when I went on to my next country a few months later I again adapted my ways. Now that I am in Thailand, I do things the Thai way. I don't put my feet up on the seats in the train. I duck my head as I walk past my elders. I take off my shoes when I enter small shops in the country. However, I also keep the Western habits I consider good. I open doors for other people. I say thank you to the bus driver. I hold the door of the elevator open to let other people off first.
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