[VotsUtegems]

I caught my husband having an affair earlier this year. Apparently he didn't realize that IMs can be saved on his computer, but I did! Seems that he had been unfaithful not once, but 5 times in the last 8 years. In those 8 years we did not have an intimate relationship, mostly because he was unable to (or so I was led to believe). I did try, but he didn't rise to occasion. So, I decided to leave him alone, not to make him feel inadequate. I did suggest many times that a Dr. could help. This was met with "That's a good idea", but nothing more. To make a long story short, we are trying to repair our 20 year old marriage. This was a joint decision because I have invested 20 years with him and did not want to divorce. However, I have a problem with him and sex. After finding out that his plumbing worked just fine, I realized that I wasted 8 years of my life being celibate. I confronted him about all the women, which understandably he was not going to tell me about, but I got it out of him. A few months later, I wanted intimacy, I deserved it. He would not touch me! Kiss yes, touch and sex no. It's been almost a year and he still will not approach me, I have to approach him. He was not like that before and I feel that if we are to work things out, he needs to be more affectionate. Any suggestions as to why he is so hesitant? Also, he won't tell me the name of one of the women. He says that I don't know her and it doesn't matter. I am very curious and think that I have the right to know. Should I drop this? He does not want to talk about any of it. Very tight lipped.