[TorryJens]

Stung , from the "dozy git" comment , Jacques , the ever astute businessman , saw an opportunity in it , and showed up long before the ambulance carrying Terry the tiger got to the veterinary clinic , ill from the meal it had just consumed .

Predictably , the tiger was revived , once the Ecclestone scat voided , but Jacques was one step ahead , and had secured the rights to the scat , and with it , the rights to all of F1 , as the rights had been secured to "Bernie , or whatever is left of him" in his final will and testement .
Now that Jacques had Bernie in his pocket , he was in control .

Immediately , Jacques mandated that large cats be required in all team garages , unteathered , to "keep the guys on thier toes" .

This was to have a desireable effect on the series for Jacques , himself , though it has never been proven that the move was deliberate , but rather more likely , instinctual .

The big cats were kept hungry for the spectacle , and mechanics had to be very careful if they turned thier backs , especially with jaguars , but most often it was the drivers picked off , as they were smaller , and didn't tend to have a wrench in thier hand .

It was exciting , with all the spurting blood and all , but the sponsors were concerned with all the spurting blood and all , covering up the logos on the cars .
The teams were starting to collect together , concerned with the negative on sponsorship procurement , except for Ferrari .

They being Italian , saw the opportunity to promote the Roman gladatorial aspect of having a lion behind your prancing horse , knowing they could keep the lion sufficiently drunk with a fine red in it's water bowl .
Besides , as they said "Our car issa red anyway , so the blooda wonna show ." .

The most desireable effect for Jacques was that , as the drivers were picked off , spots opened up on the grid , especially for those with any experience , no matter how long ago , as the older drivers were often slower and easier to catch for even drunken lions .
So , as the grid filled with names like Nigel , Stirling , Mario and Jos , Jacques finally got a call , saying he should come back , from Jock Clear , who had entered the field of lion training , calling from his bedside , after having been reguritated for the second time in two days .

Jacques , uninterested in lion training , except as a recreational activity , said , "Shut up , Jock ." , and hung up the phone .

He then mandated that at least one team named Ferrari must offer him the number one seat .


It was , at this pivottal moment , that the "FNV" , or "Formula No Villeneuve" was formed .