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**MFSSCW2c** · 10-09-2011, 08:17 PM

Emotional abuse is still abuse. In fact it's actually worse than physical abuse. And yeah I would say every custody hearing probably could be considered abuse on the child if the parents are putting them in the middle of it or pulling stunts.

First of all, I really don't see myself ever being in that situation. First off I wouldn't marry someone unless I knew I wanted to be with them. Second if I was in another country and I was ordered by that court not to leave the country, I would not leave the country until I had it sorted out by my country's and his legal precedence. If then I had to leave without my children, then fine but I would never steal them and then not allow the father to see them - unless there was abuse going on.

What I find a "dirtbag" move is that she defied the court order, she snuck off without telling him AND she's not finding a way for him to see his children for the last three years.

I hope you can clearly see how broadening the definition of "child abuse" too greatly is a dangerous path to follow. By this logic, in every scenario where a parent "emotionally abuses" their child, the government will have to step in and take custody of those children, since both parents become contributors to this "abuse" regardless of the circumstances involved. Now by this logic, when I told my 3 year old son he couldn't have something, it made him sad, therefore he's "emotionally abused" thus making me an unfit parent. While that's hardly comparable to what children experience in a divorce situation, what they do experience is often actually tragically necessary because in most cases the alternative is often a situation when parents try to salvage an unworkable situation and the children experience far worse by being caught in the middle of it. Nobody, or at least remarkably few compared to the overall rate of divorce, go into marriage expecting it to fail, that much should be obvious. I like MM understand what factors might motivate a mother to take the actions she did, if those were the motives behind it I can understand why she would do something of that nature at least. I don't for a minute pretend that all of her motives were altruistic, the same are probably true with the husband. Divorces are messy business on virtually every occasion, and rarely ever black and white.

10-09-2011, 08:17 PM	#9
MFSSCW2c Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 444 Senior Member	Emotional abuse is still abuse. In fact it's actually worse than physical abuse. And yeah I would say every custody hearing probably could be considered abuse on the child if the parents are putting them in the middle of it or pulling stunts. First of all, I really don't see myself ever being in that situation. First off I wouldn't marry someone unless I knew I wanted to be with them. Second if I was in another country and I was ordered by that court not to leave the country, I would not leave the country until I had it sorted out by my country's and his legal precedence. If then I had to leave without my children, then fine but I would never steal them and then not allow the father to see them - unless there was abuse going on. What I find a "dirtbag" move is that she defied the court order, she snuck off without telling him AND she's not finding a way for him to see his children for the last three years. I hope you can clearly see how broadening the definition of "child abuse" too greatly is a dangerous path to follow. By this logic, in every scenario where a parent "emotionally abuses" their child, the government will have to step in and take custody of those children, since both parents become contributors to this "abuse" regardless of the circumstances involved. Now by this logic, when I told my 3 year old son he couldn't have something, it made him sad, therefore he's "emotionally abused" thus making me an unfit parent. While that's hardly comparable to what children experience in a divorce situation, what they do experience is often actually tragically necessary because in most cases the alternative is often a situation when parents try to salvage an unworkable situation and the children experience far worse by being caught in the middle of it. Nobody, or at least remarkably few compared to the overall rate of divorce, go into marriage expecting it to fail, that much should be obvious. I like MM understand what factors might motivate a mother to take the actions she did, if those were the motives behind it I can understand why she would do something of that nature at least. I don't for a minute pretend that all of her motives were altruistic, the same are probably true with the husband. Divorces are messy business on virtually every occasion, and rarely ever black and white.
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