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Do You Carry An Umbrella?
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09-03-2006, 11:23 PM
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VrQsgM7c
Join Date
Oct 2005
Posts
511
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A good umbrella is a multi-purpose tool.
It keeps the rain or sun off your head.
It functions as a cane.
You can use it as a sword or spear to keep ruffians at bay (what ho, ne'er-do-well!)
You can pick up trash and other stuff from the ground.
You can scare flocks of birds into flight and crash those Nazi planes that are chasing you and your son.
You can prod the ground ahead and locate the quicksand before you fall in.
You can use the hook handle to grab a tree and pull yourself out of the quicksand if you forgot to prod first.
You can use it to pull your friend out of the quicksand that he fell into because he didn't bring an umbrella.
You can use the hook handle to slide to freedom down a handy wire when the zombies invade your building.
If you paint a spiral on top you can twirl it around an hypnotize enemy spies into revealing where they've hidden the antidote to the poison you drank after they surreptitiously slipped it into your lime rickey.
Umbrellas. Good stuff.
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