[tsovimnpb]

I can't help you. Women only turn suicidal after I leave them.

[lopaayd]

You could always commit suicide first, just to completely humiliate her.*

*Black humour. Do not take seriously.

[theatadug]

I think you stumped Google. 101 ways to leave a suicidal girl offers little result.
Turn her in as a nut case is about it.

[paulaglober]

Oh, common, thats so easy: Give her a good-quality rope and a ladder. Or a knife and a bucket. Or just the bucket - full of sleeping pills. Move to 5th floor and ask her to sit on the window sill with the window open. Take pictures of nearby bridges, print them and label them with estimaied ´chances of success´-percentages. Throw dollar notes on the rail-tracks when you have a walk with her.

What? You think thats cruel?

Alternatively: Knock her up and dissappear... Think that´s better ?

[TXmjLW9b]

Leaving a suicidal girl is only more difficult than leaving a normal girl if you care what she does after you've left. Don't.

[GrileVege]

Leave suddenly and without warning taking all that belongs to you. Make sure to place a life-sized cardboard cutout of yourself in the bed with her before you leave.

No, of course you should take all that belongs to her also: it's not like she can take it with her. Especially if you leave a pile of razor blades next to the bathtub.

[Kinds Of Pain Meds]

I can't help you. Women only turn suicidal after I leave them.

After the sudden realization of how much of their life they wasted?

[BrodiKennedy]

So you only date desperate single mothers.

[herrdwq]

That's doesn't make logical sense. You assume that suicidal people immediately kill themselves. Anyway, it's just a joke making fun of some loser who needs to post about his imagined successes at love on a gaming forum. It's like UR all over again. It's funny.

[vypusknye]

I'm not going to argue with you on this.

[DoctorTOneery]

How is Dashi still alive? I thought I read China finally bulldozed Taiwan last week.

[BriKevin]

That might explain the animosity...

If that's the case, please know that I'm sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you.

[ranndomderr]

I actually have a real suicide-girl story. She wasn't a lover but a house-mate. She was quite mentally ill, with schizophrenia and a pain-in-the-arse personality.

On the day she died I did her a favour of driving her around town for much of the afternoon while she tried, and eventually managed, to score a smoke to take round to her boyfriend's. Eventually I dropped her off by a footpath under a railway bridge about three minutes walk from her destination. She complained bitterly about not being taken to the door but the nearest road bridge over the railway was 10-15 mins of traffic away and I'd had enough of chauffering her around that day, so I told her that the taxi had done quite enough. She stormed off in a fury and I never saw her again. That evening she jumped off a tower block and died.

She may well have considered my refusal to pander to her demands as a contributing factor to her unhappiness that day, but I've never felt bad about it. Best thing she ever did, in the long run, for her poor, long-suffering husband, I expect.

[markkisil]

Just slip out the back, Jack.

[Alulursuifold]

Leave her the pills, Bill.

[scoussysows]

Or just get Kevorkian in on the deal.

[Fegasderty]

Say, "I got a surprise for you!" Make her put on a blindfold. Then take her to the nearest mental hospital, and get the hell out! Also, make sure she has a card that says, "I don't want you, but don't kill yourself. okay!"

[anaisdannyxys]

Or, I could make her think I am cheating on her by creating a new email account, email to her saying that I am a friend of the girl (I am cheating on) and she wanted to tell my gf so that she knows whats going on.

I could even fake a few photos at a party or something, where I am with this other girl.

Surely that will be enough for her to break off.

[jesyflowers]

I could do the reverse. I could be the biggest *******, jerk she has ever known. Then she'll dump me, win-win!

How about you dump her, like a real man?

[Breevereurl]

If you want serious advice...you have to dump her hard, fast, brutal and with no contact afterwards. God knows, no effing "friends" ****. Shut her down HARD.