Hay guys - question for you - DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate

**anatmob** · 10-11-2005, 07:45 PM

My boyfriend has a friend that I consider a threat to our relationship, and I have a friend that he considers a threat. My friend dislikes him and tried to break us up at one point; his friend is in love with him and constantly makes physical attempts to get his attention. Our relationship has had its rough spots, but is strong and I anticipate that he will propose within a few years. But these friends of ours are a point of contention. My friend and I are still very close, despite her attempt to break us up and a nasty falling-out she had with my boyfriend. He has asked me to cut her off completely. He ignores his friend now, but hasn't told her off completely. I don't feel I have the right to ask him to do that, despite how

she makes me. Who's right and who's wrong?

**Zoxeeoy** · 10-11-2005, 09:57 PM

There ain't no "right and wrong" here... they'll just be "winners" and "losers" in the end.

Human emotional ties are each individual rules unto themselves.

Sorry...:cry

**PVaQlNaP** · 10-11-2005, 10:07 PM

I'm sorry.. but this is a rough situation to be in...

Don't expect to make him get rid of his friend for you, as thats not unfair. If your relationship is rooted in trust and understanding you will have enough faith in the other person that they will stay loyal to you that it should work itself out in the end.

**diundasmink** · 10-11-2005, 10:38 PM

Yep, no rights or wrongs about it - this kind of thing is like the weather: you can't control it, but you can endure it.

**assonomaf** · 10-11-2005, 10:54 PM

No right or wrongs. You both have to have complete trust in each other or break up. That's the choice. If he is going to go after the other "girl" then nothing you can do will change that and if you are after "your" friend and want him nothing your b/f can do will change that. You each have to decide if you still want those friends and your mate will just have to accept it and trust or you both don't need to be together. That's life and it ain't no bowl of cherries.

If your friend wants you as a g/f but you don't have the same feelings then you should make that clear that you will be friends only and your b/f should make that clear to his friend. Obviously he has brushed her off according to what you said.

**anatmob** · 10-12-2005, 03:17 AM

She... my friend is a girl.

**bmwservis** · 10-12-2005, 03:32 AM

Is your friend simply jealous, or does she have a specific reason not to like your bf?

**Grizli** · 10-12-2005, 04:02 AM

when did this become like the maury show?

**assonomaf** · 10-12-2005, 04:16 AM

Quote:

**Grizli** · 10-12-2005, 04:58 AM

i apologize for my lil comment above, kinda put it in a dickish way. it was meant to be sarcastic...

**SDorothy28** · 10-12-2005, 05:15 AM

Quote:

**assonomaf** · 10-12-2005, 05:51 AM

Does she have a b/f. Maybe she's scared to lose you for a friend if she doesn't.

**Zoxeeoy** · 10-12-2005, 09:22 AM

Wasn't there something like this on Jerry Springer last week? :question

Seriously, ACLU [you don't mind if I call you simply "AC" do you?], there isn't much anybody can specifically advise you of here. Oh, there can be a lot of keyboard-pounding and trxt-based glittering generalities, but the subject you brought to this assembled multitude is excruciatingly personal, and as such, poses a one-of-a-kind set of problems, requiring a one-of-a-kind solution.

Unless you want to spend the next few days typing all the details.... in the hope that somebody with your best interests at heart will take the time to read them... then any specific advice proffered here will be inherently defective.

Find a close friend... somebody who truly knows you... and ask for their counsel. Opinion gained from an internet forum like this is undoubtedly worth ALL of what it costs...

...Including this little advisory missive that I'm submitting...

Good luck to you.

**bmwservis** · 10-12-2005, 10:23 AM

Sounds like the problem is her closest friend is involved in the situation.

**Zoxeeoy** · 10-12-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

**assonomaf** · 10-12-2005, 03:44 PM

Well sometimes talking to people you "know" on the internet is easier than talking to "real" friends. ACLU has been a member on here for a long time so she must feel comfortable asking for our advice.

**diundasmink** · 10-12-2005, 04:09 PM

Yep - I want to thank Aclu for reminding me why I joined DL in the first place.

**Zoxeeoy** · 10-14-2005, 11:42 PM

Quote:

**diundasmink** · 10-15-2005, 03:50 AM

Y'all askin' to be moddy-rated there, Sin?

**SDorothy28** · 10-15-2005, 07:23 AM

Quote:

10-11-2005, 07:45 PM	#1
anatmob Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 598 Senior Member	Hay guys - question for you My boyfriend has a friend that I consider a threat to our relationship, and I have a friend that he considers a threat. My friend dislikes him and tried to break us up at one point; his friend is in love with him and constantly makes physical attempts to get his attention. Our relationship has had its rough spots, but is strong and I anticipate that he will propose within a few years. But these friends of ours are a point of contention. My friend and I are still very close, despite her attempt to break us up and a nasty falling-out she had with my boyfriend. He has asked me to cut her off completely. He ignores his friend now, but hasn't told her off completely. I don't feel I have the right to ask him to do that, despite how she makes me. Who's right and who's wrong? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2005, 09:57 PM	#2
Zoxeeoy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 480 Senior Member	There ain't no "right and wrong" here... they'll just be "winners" and "losers" in the end. Human emotional ties are each individual rules unto themselves. Sorry...:cry Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2005, 10:07 PM	#3
PVaQlNaP Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 372 Senior Member	I'm sorry.. but this is a rough situation to be in... Don't expect to make him get rid of his friend for you, as thats not unfair. If your relationship is rooted in trust and understanding you will have enough faith in the other person that they will stay loyal to you that it should work itself out in the end. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2005, 10:38 PM	#4
diundasmink Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 539 Senior Member	Yep, no rights or wrongs about it - this kind of thing is like the weather: you can't control it, but you can endure it. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-11-2005, 10:54 PM	#5
assonomaf Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 340 Senior Member	No right or wrongs. You both have to have complete trust in each other or break up. That's the choice. If he is going to go after the other "girl" then nothing you can do will change that and if you are after "your" friend and want him nothing your b/f can do will change that. You each have to decide if you still want those friends and your mate will just have to accept it and trust or you both don't need to be together. That's life and it ain't no bowl of cherries. If your friend wants you as a g/f but you don't have the same feelings then you should make that clear that you will be friends only and your b/f should make that clear to his friend. Obviously he has brushed her off according to what you said. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 03:17 AM	#6
anatmob Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 598 Senior Member	She... my friend is a girl. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 03:32 AM	#7
bmwservis Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 535 Senior Member	Is your friend simply jealous, or does she have a specific reason not to like your bf? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 04:02 AM	#8
Grizli Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 451 Senior Member	when did this become like the maury show? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-12-2005, 04:16 AM	#9
assonomaf Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 340 Senior Member	Quote: Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-12-2005, 04:58 AM	#10
Grizli Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 451 Senior Member	i apologize for my lil comment above, kinda put it in a dickish way. it was meant to be sarcastic... Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-12-2005, 05:15 AM	#11
SDorothy28 Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 571 Senior Member	Quote: Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-12-2005, 05:51 AM	#12
assonomaf Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 340 Senior Member	Does she have a b/f. Maybe she's scared to lose you for a friend if she doesn't. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 09:22 AM	#13
Zoxeeoy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 480 Senior Member	Wasn't there something like this on Jerry Springer last week? :question Seriously, ACLU [you don't mind if I call you simply "AC" do you?], there isn't much anybody can specifically advise you of here. Oh, there can be a lot of keyboard-pounding and trxt-based glittering generalities, but the subject you brought to this assembled multitude is excruciatingly personal, and as such, poses a one-of-a-kind set of problems, requiring a one-of-a-kind solution. Unless you want to spend the next few days typing all the details.... in the hope that somebody with your best interests at heart will take the time to read them... then any specific advice proffered here will be inherently defective. Find a close friend... somebody who truly knows you... and ask for their counsel. Opinion gained from an internet forum like this is undoubtedly worth ALL of what it costs... ...Including this little advisory missive that I'm submitting... Good luck to you. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 10:23 AM	#14
bmwservis Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 535 Senior Member	Sounds like the problem is her closest friend is involved in the situation. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 11:41 AM	#15
Zoxeeoy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 480 Senior Member	Quote: Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)

10-12-2005, 03:44 PM	#16
assonomaf Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 340 Senior Member	Well sometimes talking to people you "know" on the internet is easier than talking to "real" friends. ACLU has been a member on here for a long time so she must feel comfortable asking for our advice. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

10-12-2005, 04:09 PM	#17
diundasmink Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 539 Senior Member	Yep - I want to thank Aclu for reminding me why I joined DL in the first place. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-14-2005, 11:42 PM	#18
Zoxeeoy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 480 Senior Member	Quote: Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-15-2005, 03:50 AM	#19
diundasmink Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 539 Senior Member	Y'all askin' to be moddy-rated there, Sin? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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10-15-2005, 07:23 AM	#20
SDorothy28 Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 571 Senior Member	Quote: Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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