[chootsonege]

Not a good night. Tonight I hate ever last freakin' man or woman who has ever betrayed their spouse/fiance/SO. Could make my own version of "Death Wish." And I would be Bronson.

[Kolokireo]

My night totally blows. My life is in the toilet. Maybe tomorrow I will feel strong. But tonight, I'm going to WALLOW. Stupid adulterers.

[RooxiaNof]

I have nights like that too. I get angry and consumed with anguish. Also, I feel very sad for my best friend....his wife was an extreme adulteress. They are just finalizing their divorce, and he has lost everything.....and he was faithful.

I have to LITERALLY take a deep breath....sometimes multiple. I also usually grab a hot tea....I am trying new flavors all the time....it feels good trying new things. I take a few minutes or more to relax and focus. I constantly go back to that Rolodex in my head of my goals....THAT puts me back in focus.

And then I don't feel SOOOOO enraged.

I think we all develop our own ways/methods of dealing with those highs and lows.
What do you do to get out of that funk, Tired?

[topbonusescod]

My brother would say PEE on all cheaters. Crap on them too. you will do this, you will get through this, you will survive this.

[JaK_MarkoV_Pi]

So, it is 3 days until the baby is due. Do I feel happy. Nope anger. Do I feel love. Nope anger. Do I feel scared. Nope anger. Do I feel closeness or anxiety or special or .... I don't even know what good feelings I should have. I just have anger. Anger and hate. And a drive to get through this. A need for him to pay for all of this. I feel it like it is a tangable thing. Like I could pick it up and hurl it at someone. Like it is eating me alive. I rage inside with a fury that I have never felt and pray I will never feel in this lifetime again. Sonedays I think it is eating me up. Other days I think it is pushing me forward.
+
I lay here and wish horrible horrible things, and don't feel guilty for that. This is not who I am. I was sweet and kind and loving. Now I feel empty. He broke me. He broke me, and I hate him for it. And everytime he opens his stupid freakin mouth and spews his hate at me.... It grows. I will never forgive him. Ever. And I hope when he is burning in hell I get just one visit from heaven to tell them to turn up the heat.

[RooxiaNof]

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[chootsonege]

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[topbonusescod]

Everyone listen....the rage and returning anger are all normal. It is partly the holiday season and partly the end of the year. We have all been over exposed to "THE MAGIC OF THE SEASON" and all the consumer hype that goes with that. You should be buying something that says I love you and I want to show you by paying too much for it.

Then there is the looming new year. We all have the tendency to reflect(okay dwell) on what was, what should have been and the reality of what is. Add that to the thought of new beginnings(out with the old, in with the new) and resolutions. The promise of something new and the shedding of the things that didn't work or hurt to much to deal with.

You are allowed to wallow only for a 24 hour period, then back to your regularly scheduled program.

[Kolokireo]

Hugs and G'night to all you guys. Here's hoping tomorrow's a better day.

[chootsonege]

I'm the one who catches the wasp in the house and turns it loose outside. I'm the one who sits up all night hand-feeding the starving stray. I'm the one who wants to help every person with a sad story.

And now I'm the one who assumes every guy is married and lying until I prove otherwise. I'm the one who Actually writes that I hate - on the world wide web. I used to not allow myself to Even think the word. Now
I'm the one who wants to be Bronson in my cheater's version of Death Wish!

Tonight I especially would like to target W4S's ex. I would like to beat him til he cries for his mama. And then do it some more. I would like to make sure he is not able to even ask for visitation. I would like to alter him so that he could never enjoy s*x again. (i live on a farm, I could do that!).

W4S, I would wish that we could all be there with you while your child is born. We are with you here. I pray for you the love of a mother with her newborn. I praY for you peAce. and protection. And comfort.

Can I even pray when I feel so much hate? I hate these people for making me hate to the point I can't pray.

[chootsonege]

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[topbonusescod]

Prayer from the bowels of hate are the best kind. It means you still have a soul and are human. That means you are in the best company.

[chootsonege]

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