[Pyuvjzwf]

Okay I normally am pretty good with making my own mind up about things but I am well and truely screwed.

Met an amazing american girl about a month and a half ago. Since then we have spent many hours going out to the early morning dancing, talking, watching movies. 2 days ago I decided I would admit my feelings to her despite she being in a 3.5 year relationship with a guy who comes from her home town, who also moved to Madrid to study.

It turns out she is crazy about me, already told her boyfriend that she is very attracted to me. But she being sensible is not gambling her long term relationship on me, the fresh new interest.

So I am screwed, she leaves in 2 weeks and I am mad about her but have no say really on anything happening. I am not considering distance etc, sod it, I feel this way about her and I am not letting anything stop me. I guess 'move on, plenty more fish in the sea' is the standard reply but come on, I need to try and win her over!

Discuss and suggest please

[Deseassaugs]

despite she being in a 3.5 year relationship with a guy who comes from her home town, who also moved to Madrid to study.

You don’t want to be involved with someone like this


It turns out she is crazy about me, already told her boyfriend that she is very attracted to me. If the guy was smart he would leave her and if you were somewhat smart you wouldn’t hook up with her

[pavlik]

Let say that she leaves him to be with you. Hardly the basis for a stable relationship IMHO - whats to say she won't do it again?

[Pyuvjzwf]

Confirming my doubts, just really annoying I find someone so soon after I broke up with girl friend and a first that I admit my feelings to said girl and she feels exactly the same way.

The thing which makes it strange is both said girl and I have only had one serious relationship and I broke mine off due to complications. She thought seriously about breaking off with her boyfriend 2 months ago when things weren't going so well but was affraid she won't find someone as good.

I came along a month too late by the looks of it, anyway. Seems my course is pretty clear, forget about anything happening and remain friends....

[Giselle]

Seems you're both still not sure what you want.
The girl should have split with her BF earlier but if you two feel you've something them, perhaps, you should pursue it - it would seem that the BF should already be planning on their relationship ending, anyway.
One thing to be aware of though - it may be that the girl is one of those clingy people who are afraid of being single/between relationships.

[Pyuvjzwf]

I was thinking this very thing, if they had issues a few months back and now she has feelings for me, what must he be thinking?

She doesn't have a problem with me 'teasing her' but she wants to be faithful to the 'relationship' she has with her boyfriend. So its more a matter of either her boyfriend realising he can't compete or she realising her feelings for me and taking a risk!

[Opinion_counts]

You would be mad to start anything serious with all that distance knowing there is such a short time unless you jack in your placement and go with her or she ditches her plans and stays. That again would be a serious leap of faith. Why do you have to have serious relationships with females? Why cant you just have some fun and enjoy Spain and its Spanish woman?

[Crazykz]

I wouldn't get too caught up in this in all honesty m8, your still young, have fun before you get serious.

[Pyuvjzwf]

Guess I am trying to fill a void, been in a relationship for 4 years and its not that I feel I need someone to feel complete but I really enjoy the companionship that comes from a good relationship.

My X was great but she became almost neurotic about me since being in Madrid. Being my first true girlfriend meant I felt like she was the only one for me. Now I have seen that there are other amazing girls out there I am convinced the split was a good move.

If I can manage to create a very strong friendship that nearly led to a relationship in just one month then if I can find the right girl, without a boyfriend, it would be fantastic. Just a shame that the American lives so far away and we have little time to make anything work.

[dots]

[Poeetiol]

Let say that she leaves him to be with you. Hardly the basis for a stable relationship IMHO - whats to say she won't do it again?

There are a million and one ways to end a relationship, the fact that she was honest to her current boyfriend I think clearly shows she's an on the level sort of girl. She can't help who she finds attractive, the fact that she may end a relationship shouldn't really be held against her.

If she cheats, then yeah fair enough that could well bite you in the ass...

[LindaSmithIV]

There are a million and one ways to end a relationship, the fact that she was honest to her current boyfriend I think clearly shows she's an on the level sort of girl. She can't help who she finds attractive, the fact that she may end a relationship shouldn't really be held against her.

If she cheats, then yeah fair enough that could well bite you in the ass...

I agree fully, she is showing alot of class by being honest.

Sadly though I think you should just accept that it isn't going to happen Burtnic. Make the most of the time she is here and then be happy, try and end it on a good note. You never know, she might be back some other time.

[Pyuvjzwf]

wise advice guys, been over this with mates here and on the forum and I am pretty sure what I should do. Don't want to dwell on it for my last 2 months in Madrid so will enjoy whats left of her being here and then get on with my life.

She admitted she isn't great at keeping contact but I am pretty sure I will see her again. Despite her jokes about Brits she can't get away from the fact she finds me charming and witty and being at the same kinda stage in life I may well see here after we're both done at Uni..... you never know

[Fegasderty]

where is she from in America? The person you are describing fits the description of my best friend almost to a T...scary

[Pyuvjzwf]

She is a Texan girl, near Austin in a place called Sherman if I remember correctly

[Kryfamid]

my advice from experience is to nver get involved with a girl in a relationship. They will lead you on, possibly even sleep with you, and then go back to their boyfriend. my advice is to walk away.

[Pyuvjzwf]

Well she so far has shown herself to be totally honest with her boyfriend, and not done anything with me. And hell I am certain she won't sleep with me as she is a virgin! Most we would do is kiss, anyway. I plan on being honest about my feelings and trying not to put to much pressure on her but enough to make it clear I am very interested.

It's not like after we expressed our feelings we are seeing anything less of one another. In fact she is being even more open with me and spending even more time with me. We did an all nighter on Friday met up at 6:30pm and I walked here home at 12pm the next day after breakfast together!

Doing my best not to be led here as I consider myself a lot more experienced in this area than her but boyfriend doesn't like going out to clubs or drinking so I am the one that picks up where he leaves off [thumbup]

[Kissntell]

Let say that she leaves him to be with you. Hardly the basis for a stable relationship IMHO - whats to say she won't do it again?

My girlfriend ditched her long term relationship / boyfriend for me... I couldn't have been any happier. She's frigging segzy beyond words and shes had a thing for me for nearly 6 years now. It's certainly a match made in heaven...

Anyhow... as to you... ahem

Well I dunno what to say really. It's one of those things man, puppy love can fade fast. It was different for me because the girl I'm with, we've had a thing for a really long time for each other but certain circumstances made it damn near impossible for us to even talk. But one day I wrote her an email telling her that if she had to ever move to not forget me. That I do care about her. One thing lead to another, she left her dude an now we're together lol.

[Phouepou]

How come no one on FM forums ever seems to have a normal stable relationship?

[Pyuvjzwf]

I had a 'OK' relationship with my X for 4 years, but being in Madrid only magnified the problems we had in day to day life when we were in the same country. So I ended things as I didn't need the aggravation of a taxing relationship on its last legs while I was in this new and amazing country.

Just so happened that I met this new girl at the end of her stay in Madrid, she has been here as long as I have. So many things make me think this is worth going all out over;

I met her on my 22nd Birthday, hit off right away
Known her 1 month and we are crazy about one another (Fast)
The more I know about her the more attractive she is to me

This is amazing for me, so different and interesting and I really don't think I find someone as special as her back in England. One thing above all that makes her that much better than anyone I have ever met is her American origin, so refreshing over a Brit attitude, French, Spanish!