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• If a player tees off from more than one club length behind the tee area, the player receives a one-stroke penalty and has to forfeit his car to the state
• A three-shot penalty will be issued to anyone caught enjoying themselves
• A ball at rest should not be disturbed, as it is sleeping
• Players must finally give up search for ball after 72 hours
• If a player is caught beating his wife or kids with his golf clubs, he takes a two-stroke penalty
• Partners may share clubs, but not during the same swing
• Your little sister gets to pick the red ball if you got to play with the red ball last time
• Putter may be used like a pool cue to crack up other golfers only once per round; after that the joke gets old and the player should come up with something else
• Players will be disqualified for using full-sized pencil on scorecard