[23tommy]

Bismillah

Sister, if you have made a promise then do try to fulfill as soon as possible as a muslim is bound to keep his/her promise. At the same time, let these thoughts not take over you that it could be a punishment or someone did spell or anything. Even these thoughts can be from shaitan. Sometimes when we are worried, these sort of thoughts pop up to make us more distressed and more worried and shaitan loves that. Just remember that Allah SWT is All kind and Merciful and you can just seek forgiveness from Him SWT more and more and trust Allah SWT that He SWT would forgive you for He SWT loves forgiving His SWT slaves and ever merciful to His SWT slaves.

Anyway do make lots of duas for a pious spouse. Make duaa in the last third of night for it is very effective. To get rid of negative thoughts, a spiritual guide advised to recite WAllahu ghalibun ala amrihi wa la kinna aktharannaasi la'yaalamuun (And Allah is predominant over His affair, but most of the people do not know.Al-Quran: 12:21) -313 times with durood 11 times in the beginning and in the end for 11 days and Alhamdulillah this really helped me. So kindly do try this amal and this can be read at any part of the day. I hope you keep up with duas and adhkar prescribed by our beloved Prophet SAW morning and evening. Do recite Quran too for that wards off shaitan and hence the waswasa and I hope you would have heard of manzil that has selected ayats from Quran which is powerful against waswasa, spell, evil eyes and many other things bi idnillah. You can read that daily, blow in water and drink it.

Always turn to Allah SWT to help you getting married to someone pious soon. I read in a hadith somewhere that when a slave prays for some spouse to lead a life in a halal way, Allah SWT never rejects the duaa. So just trust Allah SWT that your duaa is answered.

When you get a proposal and you find the guy deeni and you like him, pray istikhara and also ask your parents to pray istikhara for you. As you have these negative thoughts troubling you with decision and don't want to rely on yourself, you can ask Allah SWT that whatever be the best decision which only You know, make that easy for me and let me trust my parents decision as Your decision. You can contact some spiritual guide too and take his opinion. In this way, you can neglect negative thoughts when they pop up even after your parents accepted, trusting Allah SWT that there should be khair in it adn just proceed. Don't react immediately allowing the negative thought to affect your decision, instead be patient without being haste and keep making duas. Allahu alam

If someone more knowledgeable advise you better, do take that advice. Whatever be the case, let there be khair in it.

Sorry for the long post. Let Allah SWT be with you always, guide you all the time,grant you a pious spouse soon, keep you happy and relieve you from the stress. Amin

JzaKALLAH sister that was so helpful MashaAllah. May Allah reward u for ur kind advice. I'll try everything u mentioned.

Btw hun the money i promised to donate was last year Ramadan so I think that makes an impact. I never had the intention not to pay but really and truly I had the money but just spend on other things like a new car and stuff.