[radicalvolume]

For me it’s a very simple issue, if my Nabi (saw) and Sahaba (ra) did any action then there can be no other way that is superior to their way in this world. Full stop

If I don’t want to do any sunnah action Allah will not ask me why didn’t you do this, but I have no right to find fault with the sunnah or say anything against it.

At the same time if someone does not act on any sunnah, no one has the right to question him why don’t you do it. Yes you should advise and encourage but cannot force anyone.

...

[Ocqljudq]

For me it’s a very simple issue, if my Nabi (saw) and Sahaba (ra) did any action then there can be no other way that is superior to their way in this world. Full stop

If I don’t want to do any sunnah action Allah will not ask me why didn’t you do this, but I have no right to find fault with the sunnah or say anything against it.

At the same time if someone does not act on any sunnah, no one has the right to question him why don’t you do it. Yes you should advise and encourage but cannot force anyone.

Yes you cannot and shouldn't force. But as it goes that when a sunnat is either dead or is being looked at as if it's a sin to do it (practically) then shouldn't we stress on it more than others?

And well if you make it a habit of leaving sunnats then there will be questioning about it ....

[alskdjreyfd]

@ brother Taliban: Sorry if this sounds offensive... But how comes you're so obsessed with the polygamy issue, that you do not even tolerate other opinions?

No offence taken, sod o zayan ki manzilon se aagay nikal chukay hain hum. Well brother the same question goes to those who don't like polygamy.. They are never ready to hear our point of view. Secondly i'm obsessed with this issue because the lack of practice of polygamy has ruined us and our society. If you go to Pakistan, you will find thousands of unmarried women, divorced, widows... Who will marry them? For example, in our times if a woman is divorced lets say in hers 20s or is widowed and she has kids, it becomes almost impossible that she will get married again. I know many women like that, even in my family... While Allah had to put a ban on proposing widows or divorcees in Sahaba's time because of the amount of proposals they got from Sahaba. What is the reason and what is the solution?

And i'm obsessed because this sunnah is seen as worst than a sin. I've seen women who said to their husbands when they married again, that it wouldve been better if u did zina than this. I've seen shuyookh making bayans against it. I've seen women sitting at home, getting old because of no decent husbands..... Well i can go on and on... There are alot of charities around the world who support the widows and the divorcees. So tell me do the widows and divorcees only need money? They don't have any emotions? they don't need any emotional support? they don't need a husband? or is money enough? actually the problem is that we are happily married. Our wives are living happily in their homes. So why should they think about others? That's the main problem.

I'm obsessed because recently i asked my ex sheikh that i want to marry again. Well first of all he said NO. I asked why? No reason. Secondly, he started abusing me and treating me as if i'm doing zina. Thirdly he made me an example in his bayan and portrayed me as if i'm having a difficult life with my first wife and i'm just a person who's lusting after women.... etc etc..

WHY SO AGAINST POLYGAMY?

Isn't ita virtue and sawab to get married because you want to save yourself from sin? Isn't it a proven by hadith that to fulfill your desires by your wife is a deed on which you are rewarded? So if a person wants a second wife why is he seen as if he's worst than a zani?

Many more reasons why i'm obsessed with polygamy.....

[hrotedk]

@Taliban

Talaq is completely Legal, But won't you advice against it if it were to do more Bad than Good. Similarly Polygamy if done Ideally and properly its a very good thing. But considering the situation of the people at present maybe one has to think twice before doing 2nd Marriage. The main problem is to treat both the wives equally. I personally think there are very few people who are capable of that. But its always a choice for who can follow it correctly.
Allah knows best.

And i personally think that there are very few people who are capable of fulfilling the rights of even one wife and my belief is not based on assumptions, its based on experience. How? Because we see all around us so many talaqs, so many fights, so many seperations between the husband and the one and only wife? WHY? So how many people have you seen who married twice and haven't done justice? Is it experience or just an assumption injected into our hearts and our minds by the media?

[Borzopayn]

a local imam of a masjid in batley was removed from his post and given a hard time by some members of the community. his sin was that he took a second wife. there is something definitely wrong in people's mentality today.

[kertionderf]

a local imam of a masjid in batley was removed from his post and given a hard time by some members of the community. his sin was that he took a second wife. there is something definitely wrong in people's mentality today.

See, this is exactly what i'm trying to say.. And this is another reason why i'm obsessed with it.

Another proof to my claim that people practically do SHOW that they think of polygamy as HARAM although they say otherwise....

[WFSdZuP3]

Well brother you couldve directly said that your niyat doesn't seem to be so pure instead of mentioning about my intention at all. It is a question not a confusion. Yes i very well understand about the respect part. It's also not very pertinent here. I didn't disrespect anyone but well it's the trend these days that if you question a sheikh's actions or sayings the mureeds will use this card and start hating the guy. Yes i know alot about this, ive spent alot of time in the khanqah. My house was near khanqah, and i used to come in bayans. One day i came and a khalifah was making bayan in the masjid. I had long hair and i was sitting in front of him. So he started against long hair. He said to shave the head is sunnah and the whole bayan was against hair. Well man it's written very clearly in radd ul mukhtar that to claim that shaving the head is sunnah is bidat. In normal circumstances Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam never kept his head shaved. It was only on hajj or umrah. Khair that was my last day there.

As for your saying that the answer hazrat e aqdas db gave was specific to the mureed. I don't see it as very specific. The answer is very general. If it was specific, the answer wouldve been like it's not good for you. If you please read the answer again. I won't say anything regarding to the answer itself otherwise you'll start shouting be-adab be muraad, ba-adab ba muraad....

Sorry for be adbi

I did not doubt your niyat at all, neither am I accusing you of being bay adab. I love you for the sake of Allah(SWT) as you are my muslim brother. As for the issue, it would be useless to say anything here.

Since you seem to be in Karachi, the best thing would be to visit Khanqah and ask hazrat yourself. It is highly inappropriate to attribute something to a buzurg without complete knowledge.

[enurneAcourdy]

Bismillahi
Dowry is not bcos lack of polygamy or else it wont go for centuries here.
It is that they are in ignorance following the mushriks of al-hind.

Lack of polygamy is also beacause they are in ignorance following the mushriks of al-hind.

I was told every year in india when we compare the number of marriages, the number of divorces filed in the muslim community is more than that.
When people cant tolerate one wife and fitna is in a shooting level, will ulema and that too of shuyook type, will they think of saving one single marriage or push them towards destroying more families. The number of failed single marriages are far more than failed polygamous marriages. So why don't we start telling people not to even get married the first time. It's better than ruining lives of two families. The first reason given against polygamy is that people can't do justice and there will be ruined families and troubles in life. So as we can see that single marriage have far more troubles, then why don't we use the same logic against first marriages?

Sahabahs and their wives they were all well acquainted with polygamy even before islam. There the wives came down from 10s to 4 and here the case is different. You say Allah SWT allowed and there can be people of view that it is bcos of weakness of men keeping up the rights, Allah didnt make it compulsory and He SWt warned like mentioned by the hazrat. So each can have their views and so I think Hazrat said keeping in mind the state of the muslims society he is living in. Allahu alam. Well there might be very few Sahaba who went from 10 to 4 compared to the ones who went from 0 to 4. Why? Because they understood the fact that Quran encourages polygamy. Because Rasool Allah sallallahua laihi wasallam will feel proud on the majority of this ummah thats why he encouraged us to marry. Hazrat Umar razi Allah unhu says that wallahi i dont have any need of marriage but i just marry so that Allah gives me children and Rasool Allah sallallahu aliahi wasallam feels proud of us. And today we are such that we don't even want our prophet to feel proud of us.

Yes Allah didn't make it compulsory but Allah did encourage it (please refer to tafaseer for this claim) because Allah knew that there would be more women than men. So it's quite natural that men marry more than once to maintain the balance. Why is the balance so out today? Why is it so difficult to get married today for women? Do we find any instance where a sahabi would come to Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam and say ya Rasool Allah please make dua that my daughter gets married. I can't find rishtas for her. No, because they were okay with polygamy.

If you say it was the culture and normal for them, then i'm sorry to say that this is a big buhtan on Sahaba that they did it because of culture. Well didn't they oppose their culture in thousands of things? if there a bigger thing than to oppose your tribe and accept Islam? It was very big at that time. So if they could do other things because of Islam, then they could also be okay with polygamy because of Islam. It was more because of Deen than Islam because they saw with their own eyes that our prophet, who is the Imam of Zahideen, has married 11 women inspite of being so poor, then why shouldn't we follow him in this aspect?

[Jon Woodgate]

And i personally think that there are very few people who are capable of fulfilling the rights of even one wife and my belief is not based on assumptions, its based on experience. How? Because we see all around us so many talaqs, so many fights, so many seperations between the husband and the one and only wife? WHY? So how many people have you seen who married twice and haven't done justice? Is it experience or just an assumption injected into our hearts and our minds by the media?

Yes very few people can fulfill even one wife's rights.

And yes you are right, It was my personal assumption. But as I told you If one is confident about treating all the wives equally, Then He should go ahead. No problem in that.

I m not married yet. But I personally think/assume that one wife will be more than i can handle. I wouldnt even dream about the second one.

[Elelaytet]

Yes very few people can fulfill even one wife's rights.

And yes you are right, It was my personal assumption. But as I told you If one is confident about treating all the wives equally, Then He should go ahead. No problem in that.

I m not married yet. But I personally think/assume that one wife will be more than i can handle. I wouldnt even dream about the second one.

So won't Allah ask you in making such assumptions to discourage people from practicing a sunnah? Is se acha to yeh hai keh aap logon ko hosla do takay woh larkion, aurton ka ghr basaain..

Kisi achay hakeem ko dikhaain. Number chahiye to mein de deta hoon.

[lollypopz]

So won't Allah ask you in making such assumptions to discourage people from practicing a sunnah? Is se acha to yeh hai keh aap logon ko hosla do takay woh larkion, aurton ka ghr basaain..

Kisi achay hakeem ko dikhaain. Number chahiye to mein de deta hoon.

I m not good at urdu bro.
I m not discouraging the sunnah bro. I just mentioned one has to careful and should be sure of giving equal treatment before marrying the second because equal treatment is Obligatory.

P.s. I rest my case. Don't want this to turn this into an argument.

[ptmQqoxw]

Lack of polygamy is also beacause they are in ignorance following the mushriks of al-hind.



The number of failed single marriages are far more than failed polygamous marriages. So why don't we start telling people not to even get married the first time. It's better than ruining lives of two families. The first reason given against polygamy is that people can't do justice and there will be ruined families and troubles in life. So as we can see that single marriage have far more troubles, then why don't we use the same logic against first marriages?



Well there might be very few Sahaba who went from 10 to 4 compared to the ones who went from 0 to 4. Why? Because they understood the fact that Quran encourages polygamy. Because Rasool Allah sallallahua laihi wasallam will feel proud on the majority of this ummah thats why he encouraged us to marry. Hazrat Umar razi Allah unhu says that wallahi i dont have any need of marriage but i just marry so that Allah gives me children and Rasool Allah sallallahu aliahi wasallam feels proud of us. And today we are such that we don't even want our prophet to feel proud of us.

Yes Allah didn't make it compulsory but Allah did encourage it (please refer to tafaseer for this claim) because Allah knew that there would be more women than men. So it's quite natural that men marry more than once to maintain the balance. Why is the balance so out today? Why is it so difficult to get married today for women? Do we find any instance where a sahabi would come to Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam and say ya Rasool Allah please make dua that my daughter gets married. I can't find rishtas for her. No, because they were okay with polygamy.

If you say it was the culture and normal for them, then i'm sorry to say that this is a big buhtan on Sahaba that they did it because of culture. Well didn't they oppose their culture in thousands of things? if there a bigger thing than to oppose your tribe and accept Islam? It was very big at that time. So if they could do other things because of Islam, then they could also be okay with polygamy because of Islam. It was more because of Deen than Islam because they saw with their own eyes that our prophet, who is the Imam of Zahideen, has married 11 women inspite of being so poor, then why shouldn't we follow him in this aspect?

bismillahi
i cant type more but

for the way society today this only scares particularly wives life wil become more miserable in indo pak
very rarely people will come forward to give their daughters as 2nd wife for the way they will be treated and accepted by the mans family. let them be accepted as in arab society then lets see
i will leave here
wassalam

[Thomas12400]

bismillahi
i cant type more but

for the way society today this only scares particularly wives life wil become more miserable in indo pak
very rarely people will come forward to give their daughters as 2nd wife for the way they will be treated and accepted by the mans family. let them be accepted as in arab society then lets see
i will leave here
wassalam

Well thats also an assumption that her life will become more miserable. Why don't the shuyookh educate people on the rights of the second wife and prepare people instead of stopping them altogether and saying its impossible in this time? WHY is it impossible?

[overavantstandard]

Assalamualaikum Wr Wbr,

Brother Taliban, i am sure that your intention is pure in asking this question and you want to clear this confusion. However, it has always been the practice of Akaabir to maintain respect of Scholars and Akabir...I am sure you understand

As for your original question and the link that a brother posted, please note that this was taken from a compilation of letters by Hazrat Wala Db sent to his mureeds. Responses to each mureed depend upon his particular condition and the Shaikh is aware of his character and his past illnesses. Therefore the answer mentioned over there is for that particular individual. We need to see things in context and maintain Husn e Dhan with one of the leading Buzurgs of our time.

This is not a general rule for everybody. Prescriptions differ for every patient.

Jawad Bhai, please read page 178-180 of this book also..

http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/ta...e-khuda-part-2

then tell me was the link quoted by a brother earlier was a specific answer to a specific mureed?

[AlexBrith]

Well thats also an assumption that her life will become more miserable. Why don't the shuyookh educate people on the rights of the second wife and prepare people instead of stopping them altogether and saying its impossible in this time? WHY is it impossible?

funny u say it as an assumption when right now u read examples of imam and it is the truth.
change from ur family and show it as an example with wives accepted by ur family
then the general mass wil change slowly iA though its long way
khair i will leave here
wassalam

[Bromymbollile]

No i can't ask him thats why I asked here because it seems there are people here who are close to them and have access to the khanqah. So maybe they can ask him.

My question is not about difference of view. My question is when his son can do it, then why discourage the general masses? If someone wants to get another wife, he's advised to do sabr and keep himself busy with zikr azkar and to do the tasawwuf asbaq... etc etc... So his son is also a buzurg, why didn't he do sabr and indulge in extensive zikr cause its easy for buzurgs to do zikr then a normal person...

Alhamdulillah you have lots of connections in Pakistan. You can use any of the means to request this information from Hazrat Wala's son. Tell me brother Taliban, have you ever asked your sheikh about his private life as to why he does what he does? If so, then doing so to a non-sheikh should be easy for you.

If you being a mujahid and all havent, then it is probably 10 times harder for mureeds of hazrat wala to get that information from hazrat wala or his son.

Although many questions are valid and brilliant questions, but they ought to be asked in their right mahal, in the right manner. Sunniforum is probably the 2nd worst place to ask such a question. The 1st being the counterpart .net

Sheikhuna, lets leave hazrat wala and his son and go ahead tie ones own 2nd and 3rd knot. What do you say?

[wasssallx]

Alhamdulillah you have lots of connections in Pakistan. You can use any of the means to request this information from Hazrat Wala's son. Tell me brother Taliban, have you ever asked your sheikh about his private life as to why he does what he does? If so, then doing so to a non-sheikh should be easy for you.

If you being a mujahid and all havent, then it is probably 10 times harder for mureeds of hazrat wala to get that information from hazrat wala or his son.

Although many questions are valid and brilliant questions, but they ought to be asked in their right mahal, in the right manner. Sunniforum is probably the 2nd worst place to ask such a question. The 1st being the counterpart .net

Sheikhuna, lets leave hazrat wala and his son and go ahead tie ones own 2nd and 3rd knot. What do you say?

Couldn't help but smile at your comments. I asked here because someone used the quote before in another thread to discourage polygamy. I don't have any contacts in PK who can go and ask them about this. Well Maulvi sahib, it's not about private life. I think you didn't understand. If hazrat is discouraging everyone about polygamy and even a sheikh as you can see in the link i gave, page 178 of that book, then why has his son married thrice?

Nah man, if we keep on leaving people and let them go and not clear up things, then soon halal will become practically haram and haram will become the lesser evil...

Thank you for your comments. lagta hai dil pur lag gayi yeh baat....

[orillaVar]

In Tarbiyet ‘ashiqan e Khuda part 2، page 424

I think Hazratwala db has given a very good answer here.

[TorryJens]

Completely agreed with Taliban Sahab.

There seems to be a "culture" of being actually against poligamy and looking down upon it as something inherently wrong, even though not admitting that clearly, because we all know that it's at least a sunnah, and no one would dare openly speaking against a Sunnah, so the road of community stigma and "discouragement" is taken.

And this seems to be the influence of having in front of us anti-Islamic models, be it the Western or the Hindu one.

I hope it's clear I won't dare saying anything against Hadrat Hakim Akhtar Sahab (db); I'm just telling my general impression, not based on this case.

[lE3l6Lgn]

@ brother Taliban I know exactly what you are trying to say

Brothers and sisters there are few things that need to be stated.
Before that I want to assure you that I have great respect for all our akaabireen. In fact I have taken bay’at in the Thanvi silsila as well. (to a khalifah of Moulana Maseehullah Khan Saheb rahimahullah)
There are 3 issues that I know of that are problematic:
1. Taking a second wife
2. Growing a zulfa
3. Wearing a turban
Some of our akaabireen may have given certain advises regarding certain sunnahs in all sincerity, but what has happened down the line amongst the mureedeen, is that they have developed a nafrat (hatred) for these sunnahs.

I wear a turban on the two eids as well as on jumuah. The rest of the days I wear a jalalabadi topi.
I have been looked down upon, belittled and ridiculed because of it.
I have seen in the past on this forum where a brother asked what colour turban is sunnah to wear?
The answer a brother gave was it is not necessary to wear a turban.

I also keep the zulfa, for this too I was told many things about why you shouldn’t .

A friend of mine went for one year jamaat. While in Pakistan he visited a buzrug to take his duas.
The buzrug refused to make salaam to him because he had a turban on his head. He asked him why cant you look like these farishtas (angels)around me. He had to go out of the khanqah and buy a topi for the buzrug to make salaam to him.

He is not a mureed but a visitor that came to take duas.

Is this acceptable?