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11-02-2005, 07:00 AM
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#1 |
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 Master of my Domain (variants)
Hey peeps
- I\'ve been absent for a while, enjoy this gem, not sure if it\'s been posted before... Holy cow, the internet is a beautiful thing: Masturbation List - Women Brushing the beaver Doing my nails Doing the Two Finger Slot Rumba. Finger blasting Flicking the bean Going Mining Gone fishing Making soup Making soup Paddling the pink canoe Playing the beaver Playing the prawn Playing The Silent Trombone Polishing the peanut Shucking the bearded clam Struming the plum Strumming the banjo Surfin\' the channel The two fingered tango Tickle the taco Toggling the bit Two finger tango Masturbation List - Men 5-knuckle-shuffle A big date with \"Rosy Palms!\" A Mountaineer trapped in (Yuck) Bama Land Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior Audition the finger-puppets Auditioning your hand puppet Backstroke roulette Bash the bishop Bash the candle Bashing the Bishop Be a virtuoso of the skin flute Beat off Beat the bishop Beat the dummy Beat the meat Beat the stick Beat up your date Beating the Bishop Beating the meat Beating the old man Beating the pud Beef-stroke-it-off Being your own best friend Biffing off Bleed the weed Blow the load Blowing your own horn Bludgeon the beefsteak Bop the bolgney Boppin\' The Bologna Bopping the bishop Bopping the Bonzo Box the jesuit and get cockroaches Boxing the bald champ Boxing with Richard Breat the meat Buff the banana Buffin\' the bishop Buggering hand Buggering your hand Burp the baby Burp the worm Burping the worm Butter the corn Caning the vandal Capture the bishop Charming the snake Checking for testicular cancer Cheesing off Choke Kojak Choke the sherrif and wait for the posse to come Chokin\' the chicken Choking the chicken Clamp the pipe Clean your rifle Clearing the snorkel Climb Mount Baldy Climbin the tree Closet Frisbee Come into your own Cook the cream of #### Corral the tadpoles Couch hockey for one Crank the shank Cranking the love pump Crimp the wire Crown the king Cuddlin\' the Kielbasa Cuff the carrot Cuffing the carrot Cuppin\' the Bishop Dating miss michigan (think geography here) Dating Palm & her 5 sisters... Dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters Defrosting the fridge Diddle Diddling Digitally oscillating one\'s penis Do a hand job Do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love Do handiwork Do the janitor thing Doing It Your Way Doing the pork sword jiggle Doing the White Knuckler Down at the club (for members only) Drain the monster Dry humping the ottoman Electing the president Engage in safe sex Fist #### Fist ####### Fist your mister Five against one Five knuckle shuffle Five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pump Flick on over the thumb Flicking the bic Flip the Bishop Flog the dog Flog the dong Flog the hog Flog the log Flog the mule Flogging the bishop Flogging the frog Flute solo Fly fishing Fondle the fig Freeing Willy Friggit Frosting the pastry Galloping the old lizard Gallup the antelope Genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion Get a date with Slick Mittens Get the German soldier marching Get to know yourself Getting chafed Getting off Getting your pole varnished Give it a tug Giving your a low five Gluing the lady\'s eye\'s shut Go a couple of rounds with ol\' josh Go on a date with Handrea and Palmela Going blind Going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters Going on Peewee\'s little adventure Going the blow Got a date with Miss Michigan...(hold up right palm) Grappling the gorilla Grease the pipe Hack the hog Han Solo Hand job Hand Shandy Hand to gland combat Hand work Happy piss (vs. Mean piss) Hard labor Have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake Have a date with Fisty Palmer Have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters Have a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it\'s rhyming slang) Have a one-night-stand with yourself Have it off Have one off the wrist Have sex with someone you love Having a tug-of-war with cyclops. Having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel Hitchhike to heaven Hitchhike under the big top Hold the sausage hostage Honing the cone Hug the hog Hump the hose Jack \'n the Beanstalk Jack hammer Jack off Jazz yourself Jerk off Jerkin\' The Gerkin\' Jerking Jamby Jerking the Gherkin Jerking yanking daisy-chaining Jizzlobbing Juggling the coullions Just jerkin\' it Kicking seamen Kicking your roommate out for five to ten minutes to \"call your parents\" Knuckle shuffle on the ol\' piss pump Looking for ticks Loping the mule Loves labors lost Loving the muppet Lubing the Tube Make instant pudding Make the bald man puke Making a foreskin cone Making cyclops cry Mangle the midget Mangling the midget Manipulate the mango Manual labor Manual override Master bacon Meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters Meet Rosie Hancock Meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters Milk the cow Milk the lizard Milking one\'s self Milking oneself Milking the bull Milking the Lizard Milking the moose Mount a corporal and four Much goo about nothing My sex life! Nerk your throbber Null the void Oil the glove On the vinegar strokes....(what do you do with a vinegar bottle!) Onan\'s olympics Onanism One gun salute One man show One off the wrist Pack your palm Paddle the pickle Paint the ceiling Paint the pickle Paint the walls Palm the calm Peal the carrot Peel some chilies Peel the banana Peelin\' some chiles Peeling the banana Perform diagnostics on your ManTool Perling the oyster Petting the lizard Pipping the pumpkin Play a little five-on-one Play five against one Play in a one-man show Play on the skin flute... Play pocket pinball Play pocket pool Play tug-of-war with the cyclops Play Uno Playing a one stringed guitar Playing peekaboo Playing skin flute Playing tag with the pink torpedo Playing the one-stringed melody Playing the skin flute Playing tug-o-war with Cyclopse (the Eye being your bellybutton) Playing with the spitting llama Playing with your turtle (for uncircumcised guys?) Please the Weasel Please your pisser Plunk your twanger Pocket pinball Pocket pool Polish Percy in your palm Polish the family jewels Polish the rocket Polish the sword Polishing the helmet Polishing the Rocket Popping the cork Pound off Pound the bald-headed moose Pound the pud Pound your flounder Pound your pud Pounding one\'s pud Preparing the carrot Priming the pump. Pull off Pull rank Pull the carrot Pull the cord Pull the five-knuckle shuffle Pull the goalie Pull the pole Pull the pope Pull your ##### Pull your taffy Pulling the balogny pony Pulling the bologna pony Pulling the pud Pulling your own leg Pulling your pud Pummeling the priest Pump the python Pumping cream Pumping one\'s stump Pumping the stump Punch the Clown Punching the munchkin Punishing Percy in the palm Putting the Colonel Sanders Heimleich Manuever Ram the ham Relieving tension Ride the great white knuckler Roll your own Romeo and Himself Rope the pony Rope the pope Rub off Rub one out Rubbing one out Rubbing the pink eraser Run off a batch by hand Sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights Safest sex Sanding wood Scour the tower of power Scratchin the itch Secret handshake Self abuse Self-induced penile regurgitation Self-inflicted intercourse Sex with someone you really love Shag Shake hands with Abe Lincoln Shake hands with your John Thomas Shake hands with your wife\'s best friend Shake the sausage Shakin\' Hands With Shorty Shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln Shaking hands with Jack McNasty Shaking hands with Mr. Happy Shaking hands with the midget (some hesitate to use the term \"midget\") Shaking hands with the unemployed Shaking hands with Yul Brenner Shaking the bottle Shaking the hands of the self-employed Shaking the sauce Shaking the snake Shellacking the shellaleigh Shemp the hog Shifting gears Shine the helmet Shine your pole Shoot putty at the moon Shoot skeet (pull...shoot) Shoot the moon Shooting flies Shooting for the moon Shuck your corn Slaking the bacon Slam the ham Slam the hammer Slam the spam Slamming the salami Slamming the salmon Slap high fives with Yul Brynner Slap the carrot, slap the clown Slap the donkey Slap the pud Slap the salami Slappin the purple headed yogurt pistol Slapping it Slapping pappy Slapping the clown Slapping the FleshGopher Slapping the purple headed yogurt pistol Slapping the salami Sling the jelly Smack-off Smacking the salami Snap one off Snap the monkey Snap the rubber Snap the whip Solo flight Solo marathon Solo sex Spanking Elvis Spanking Frank Spanking the bishop Spanking the monkey Spanking the salami Spanking the wank Squeeze the cheese Squeeze the juice Squeeze the lemon Squeeze your cheese-dog Squeezing the weasel Stinky pinky Stir the yogurt Stirring the batter Straining the main vein Strangle the Serpent Stroke it Stroke off Stroke the dog Stroke the one-eyed burping gecko Stroke the satin-headed serpent Stroke your poker Stroke your twinkie Stroking it Stroking the lizard Stroking the mole Take matters into your own hands Take part in population control Take the monster for a one-armed ride Talk quietly to yourself Taming the shrew Taunting the one-eyed weasle Tease the weasle Tease the weenie Tenderize the meat Tenderize the tube steak Test the #### Test your batteries That crazy hand jive The art of Unisex The Colonel Sanders Heimleich Maneuver The five knuckle shuffle on the old piss pipe The Five Knuckle Shuffle The serta solo Thrapping Thump the pump Tickle the pickle Ticklewigglejigglepickle Tickling the ivory Tickly my fancy Toasting the Surgeon General Toss off Tossing the salad Tossing the snag Tossing the turkey Tossing yogurt Trouser snake cpr Tugging the slug Turning Japanese (with apologies to The Vapours) Twang the wire Twanging the wire Tweak your twinkie Twisting your crank Unloading the gun Varnish the flagpole Wack off Wack the one-eyed worm Wack the weasel Wack the willie Wacking willy Waging the war of the priests Waking the dead Waking Wee Willie Wonka Walk the dog Walk the plank Walking the snake Wank Wanking Wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel Washing the meat Wax the carrot Wax the dolphin Wax your surfboard Waxing the car Waxing the carrot Waxing the Dolphin Waxing the surfboard Whack off Whackin the weasel Whacking it Whacking Willy Whip off Whip the dummy Whip the wire Whip up some sour cream Whip your dripper Whipping the one-eyed trouser snake Whipping the rat Whipping the stiff Whipping willy the one-eyed wonder-worm Whittling the stick Whizzing jism Whizzing jizzim Wind surfing on Mount Baldy Windsurfing on Mount Baldy Wixen Wonk your conker Work off Wrestle the eel Wrestling the purple headed warrior Wrestling with the bald champ Wring out your rope Wrist aerobics Yank off Yank the crank Yank the yoyo Yank your plank |
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01-11-2006, 07:00 AM
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#2 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> \"You\'ll shoot your eye out... kid.\" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Sorry, I just had to throw that out there... twas the season, ya know [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] Goss |
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05-27-2006, 07:00 AM
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#3 |
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Two more
for men: Firing the wobbly warhead Releasing the one eyed trouser monster [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] |
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07-16-2006, 07:00 AM
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#4 |
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07-23-2006, 07:00 AM
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#5 |
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07-31-2006, 07:00 AM
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#6 |
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Quote:<font br /br /class=\"post\">Quote:<font class=\"post\"> ROFL [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] |
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09-01-2006, 07:00 AM
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#7 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\">Quote:<font class=\"post\"> [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] Wooo |
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09-29-2006, 07:00 AM
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#8 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> And some guys don\'t have nearly enough. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] |
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09-30-2006, 07:00 AM
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#9 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> (Sigh) Yes, sometimes wobbly warheads miss the target. |
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