Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions - DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate

**Svatudjw** · 07-08-2009, 09:02 PM

Here's ten examples to start with... SQ = Stupid Question. SA = Snappy Answer.

SQ: "Do you wanna sell him/Can I have him?"
SA: "Sure, I'll trade him for a member of your family... It has to be someone you actually LOVE though"

SQ: "Do you wanna breed him?"
SA: "Hell yeah! Go to the animal shelter and adopt a spayed female Pit Bull, and we'll let 'em go at it. When you go to the shelter, make sure you specify a SPAYED female Pit Bull, and let them know you want to breed her with a NEUTERED male Pit Bull"

SQ: "How are you gonna feel when that dog mauls your kids?"
SA: "He already did, the wife too! At least it wasn't the other way around. I'd be devastated if my family mauled my dog, which in all seriousness, happens a LOT more often than the dog mauling the family."

SQ: "Man, don't you know those dogs are bad news?"
SA: "Yeah, but so was Hurricane Katrina. That storm killed almost as many people in 2005 as this little guy did that same year. Now I call him 'Hurricane Sam'!"

SQ: "Do you fight him?"
SA: "Nah, but sometimes we argue, and he always puts me in my place"

SQ: "You're an a-hole for owning such a vicious dog"
SA: (kneeling down and receiving hug and enthusiastic tongue facial from said 'vicious dog') "Yeah, that's right boy! WHOZ an a-hole? WHOZ an a-hole? MEEEEEEEE!" (looks at accuser) "Nah, we both know who the A-hole is here, don't we boy?"

SQ: "You must be compensating for having a small penis to own a dog like that!"
SA: "Well, my heart told me this guy needed a good home, so, I guess you're right, my penis is smaller than my heart... still bigger than your brain though."

SQ: "That's one of them KILLER dogs, ain't it?"
SA: (immitating Spricoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) "He suuuuuuure is, duuuuuuude! Yeah, he's totally bitchen!"

SQ: "Is that a Pitt? Don't you read the news?"
SA: "Sure, I read the news. As far as I know, my dog is no relation to the Pitt family. I read that Brad's thinking about retiring from show business though. Didn't see that coming!"

SQ: "You know those dogs have locking jaws, right?"
SA: "Of course I do! I keep the key with me so I can UN-lock them though. I mean, I'm not STUPID!"

Post your own, or others you've heard.

**creewespock** · 07-08-2009, 09:05 PM

Derek, love it! I think we need to keep one in our pockets at all times.

**BrianGoldsmith** · 07-08-2009, 09:19 PM

SQ: "Do you fight him?"
SA: "Nah, but sometimes we argue, and he always puts me in my place" THIS One about made me spit out my soda!!

Im not nearly as witty with the come backs Im afraid.

**tetMitshisk** · 07-08-2009, 09:28 PM

Derek , good to see you here man... when you gonna join the hot topics group?

**enasseneiff** · 07-08-2009, 09:31 PM

Good stuff

**WrigleyMike** · 07-08-2009, 09:31 PM

Derek , good to see you here man... when you gonna join the hot topics group?

**Agehoobionibe** · 07-08-2009, 09:34 PM

That is pretty much awesome.

**rujeltaoser** · 07-08-2009, 10:29 PM

Those are all Soooooo Funny !

I wish I could come up with stuff like that off the top of my head. After the need for one of those comebacks has passed and I am left standing there like a deer caught in head lights. On my way home I will remember them all plus some of my own. I am no good at all with comebacks on the spot .

**Forexampleee** · 07-08-2009, 10:46 PM

May I ask what the hot topics group?

**BrianGoldsmith** · 07-08-2009, 10:48 PM

May I ask what the hot topics group?

The Controversial and Heated Debate Forum - Announcements

**WrigleyMike** · 07-08-2009, 10:48 PM

May I ask what the hot topics group?

Here ya go:
http://www.pitbull-chat.com/showthread.php?t=31330

**clorkergo** · 07-09-2009, 02:34 AM

Those are great!!!!!!

Wow...sometimes when really snobby people ask if Bubba's a pit bull, I reply in the most horrified voice I can muster: "Oh God, no. He's actually a chihuahua mix! We get that question all the time though". It usually gives me a good five seconds to walk away

**enasseneiff** · 07-09-2009, 03:12 AM

Oh yeah I told this one way back but I did run across a young punk in a convenience store in southern Michigan once, showing off a tiny pit bull puppy.

He was telling the small crowd that had gathered, "I got a female so I could breed her"

I (just passing by) said "Don't you think she's prefer another dog?"

... and everyone busted out laughing. The dude followed me out hollering obscenities.

**UFJon** · 07-09-2009, 03:39 AM

man that was great and buddysmom that is hilarious also, I wish I could actually remember any comebacks when I talk to people...I don't even remember to say stuff like no an American staff. terrier is not an American pit bull terrier... I am so bad at it, I had a lady in a store say to another that they were the same and I was just standing there like what was it I was supposed to say and they walked on away lol I slaped myself in the face for that one >.<

**anenselog** · 07-09-2009, 03:59 AM

Those are great. I wish I had good comebacks too.

**Misebeita** · 07-09-2009, 04:32 AM

Those are so funny. Good answers

---------- Post added at 10:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:30 PM ----------

Oh yeah I told this one way back but I did run across a young punk in a convenience store in southern Michigan once, showing off a tiny pit bull puppy.

He was telling the small crowd that had gathered, "I got a female so I could breed her"

I (just passing by) said "Don't you think she's prefer another dog?"

... and everyone busted out laughing. The dude followed me out hollering obscenities.

Wow a west virginia pit bull owner lo l

**gkruCRi1** · 07-09-2009, 04:33 AM

Wow...sometimes when really snobby people ask if Bubba's a pit bull, I reply in the most horrified voice I can muster: "Oh God, no. He's actually a chihuahua mix! We get that question all the time though". It usually gives me a good five seconds to walk away

That's a great one too! People can't believe either that we have pits AND chis. They ALWAYS ask, "... and they get along okay?" We should say something smart like, "Well, one of the chi's lost a leg once, but he still gets around fine". As most true dog people know, little dogs almost ALWAYS boss the big ones!!

**xpllmr** · 07-09-2009, 05:29 AM

ZOMG!!!! I think I'm gonna have to print these off and commit them to memory... before the sun comes up tomorrow!!

**Ceakicknunk** · 08-08-2009, 09:01 AM

YAAY!! i found derek and teflon don and lots of others I know!! I'd so do my impression of Loki's happy dance but i'm afraid i'd hurt myself. I'm happy you guys are here and not gone forever! I guess i'm gonna have to lurk around here more often.

**georgshult** · 08-08-2009, 09:21 AM

Those are great!

If I may add my own:

A few years ago, we were at a very fancy vet's office with Madeleine.

While waiting in the lobby, another client seated next to me and Madeleine, looked at me and Madeleine, and posed the following question, out of the blue and with raised eyebrows:

" Do you fight her? "

My response:

" Not today, it's Saturday, she is Jewish ".

The woman no longer felt any need to converse with me

07-08-2009, 09:02 PM	#1
Svatudjw Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 536 Senior Member	Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions Here's ten examples to start with... SQ = Stupid Question. SA = Snappy Answer. SQ: "Do you wanna sell him/Can I have him?" SA: "Sure, I'll trade him for a member of your family... It has to be someone you actually LOVE though" SQ: "Do you wanna breed him?" SA: "Hell yeah! Go to the animal shelter and adopt a spayed female Pit Bull, and we'll let 'em go at it. When you go to the shelter, make sure you specify a SPAYED female Pit Bull, and let them know you want to breed her with a NEUTERED male Pit Bull" SQ: "How are you gonna feel when that dog mauls your kids?" SA: "He already did, the wife too! At least it wasn't the other way around. I'd be devastated if my family mauled my dog, which in all seriousness, happens a LOT more often than the dog mauling the family." SQ: "Man, don't you know those dogs are bad news?" SA: "Yeah, but so was Hurricane Katrina. That storm killed almost as many people in 2005 as this little guy did that same year. Now I call him 'Hurricane Sam'!" SQ: "Do you fight him?" SA: "Nah, but sometimes we argue, and he always puts me in my place" SQ: "You're an a-hole for owning such a vicious dog" SA: (kneeling down and receiving hug and enthusiastic tongue facial from said 'vicious dog') "Yeah, that's right boy! WHOZ an a-hole? WHOZ an a-hole? MEEEEEEEE!" (looks at accuser) "Nah, we both know who the A-hole is here, don't we boy?" SQ: "You must be compensating for having a small penis to own a dog like that!" SA: "Well, my heart told me this guy needed a good home, so, I guess you're right, my penis is smaller than my heart... still bigger than your brain though." SQ: "That's one of them KILLER dogs, ain't it?" SA: (immitating Spricoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) "He suuuuuuure is, duuuuuuude! Yeah, he's totally bitchen!" SQ: "Is that a Pitt? Don't you read the news?" SA: "Sure, I read the news. As far as I know, my dog is no relation to the Pitt family. I read that Brad's thinking about retiring from show business though. Didn't see that coming!" SQ: "You know those dogs have locking jaws, right?" SA: "Of course I do! I keep the key with me so I can UN-lock them though. I mean, I'm not STUPID!" Post your own, or others you've heard. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 09:05 PM	#2
creewespock Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 517 Senior Member	Derek, love it! I think we need to keep one in our pockets at all times. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 09:19 PM	#3
BrianGoldsmith Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 479 Senior Member	SQ: "Do you fight him?" SA: "Nah, but sometimes we argue, and he always puts me in my place" THIS One about made me spit out my soda!! Im not nearly as witty with the come backs Im afraid. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 09:28 PM	#4
tetMitshisk Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 493 Senior Member	Derek , good to see you here man... when you gonna join the hot topics group? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 09:31 PM	#5
enasseneiff Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 429 Senior Member	Good stuff Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 09:31 PM	#6
WrigleyMike Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 398 Senior Member	Derek , good to see you here man... when you gonna join the hot topics group? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 09:34 PM	#7
Agehoobionibe Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 446 Senior Member	That is pretty much awesome. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 10:29 PM	#8
rujeltaoser Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 442 Senior Member	Those are all Soooooo Funny ! I wish I could come up with stuff like that off the top of my head. After the need for one of those comebacks has passed and I am left standing there like a deer caught in head lights. On my way home I will remember them all plus some of my own. I am no good at all with comebacks on the spot . Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 10:46 PM	#9
Forexampleee Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 502 Senior Member	May I ask what the hot topics group? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 10:48 PM	#10
BrianGoldsmith Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 479 Senior Member	May I ask what the hot topics group? The Controversial and Heated Debate Forum - Announcements Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-08-2009, 10:48 PM	#11
WrigleyMike Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 398 Senior Member	May I ask what the hot topics group? Here ya go: http://www.pitbull-chat.com/showthread.php?t=31330 Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-09-2009, 02:34 AM	#12
clorkergo Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 473 Senior Member	Those are great!!!!!! Wow...sometimes when really snobby people ask if Bubba's a pit bull, I reply in the most horrified voice I can muster: "Oh God, no. He's actually a chihuahua mix! We get that question all the time though". It usually gives me a good five seconds to walk away Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

07-09-2009, 03:12 AM	#13
enasseneiff Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 429 Senior Member	Oh yeah I told this one way back but I did run across a young punk in a convenience store in southern Michigan once, showing off a tiny pit bull puppy. He was telling the small crowd that had gathered, "I got a female so I could breed her" I (just passing by) said "Don't you think she's prefer another dog?" ... and everyone busted out laughing. The dude followed me out hollering obscenities. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

07-09-2009, 03:39 AM	#14
UFJon Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 502 Senior Member	man that was great and buddysmom that is hilarious also, I wish I could actually remember any comebacks when I talk to people...I don't even remember to say stuff like no an American staff. terrier is not an American pit bull terrier... I am so bad at it, I had a lady in a store say to another that they were the same and I was just standing there like what was it I was supposed to say and they walked on away lol I slaped myself in the face for that one >.< Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-09-2009, 03:59 AM	#15
anenselog Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 451 Senior Member	Those are great. I wish I had good comebacks too. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-09-2009, 04:32 AM	#16
Misebeita Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 368 Senior Member	Those are so funny. Good answers ---------- Post added at 10:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:30 PM ---------- Oh yeah I told this one way back but I did run across a young punk in a convenience store in southern Michigan once, showing off a tiny pit bull puppy. He was telling the small crowd that had gathered, "I got a female so I could breed her" I (just passing by) said "Don't you think she's prefer another dog?" ... and everyone busted out laughing. The dude followed me out hollering obscenities. Wow a west virginia pit bull owner lo l Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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07-09-2009, 04:33 AM	#17
gkruCRi1 Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 505 Senior Member	Wow...sometimes when really snobby people ask if Bubba's a pit bull, I reply in the most horrified voice I can muster: "Oh God, no. He's actually a chihuahua mix! We get that question all the time though". It usually gives me a good five seconds to walk away That's a great one too! People can't believe either that we have pits AND chis. They ALWAYS ask, "... and they get along okay?" We should say something smart like, "Well, one of the chi's lost a leg once, but he still gets around fine". As most true dog people know, little dogs almost ALWAYS boss the big ones!! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

07-09-2009, 05:29 AM	#18
xpllmr Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 875 Senior Member	ZOMG!!!! I think I'm gonna have to print these off and commit them to memory... before the sun comes up tomorrow!! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-08-2009, 09:01 AM	#19
Ceakicknunk Join Date Oct 2005 Location Belgium Posts 473 Senior Member	YAAY!! i found derek and teflon don and lots of others I know!! I'd so do my impression of Loki's happy dance but i'm afraid i'd hurt myself. I'm happy you guys are here and not gone forever! I guess i'm gonna have to lurk around here more often. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote

08-08-2009, 09:21 AM	#20
georgshult Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 552 Senior Member	Those are great! If I may add my own: A few years ago, we were at a very fancy vet's office with Madeleine. While waiting in the lobby, another client seated next to me and Madeleine, looked at me and Madeleine, and posed the following question, out of the blue and with raised eyebrows: " Do you fight her? " My response: " Not today, it's Saturday, she is Jewish ". The woman no longer felt any need to converse with me Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
	Quote