[maliboia]

Dear Chris,

If I were an abbot of a monastery and you sent those lines as an introduction in a letter, I would say, like Fr. Raphael, 'come and see.' Thank God I am not an abbot though, for it is truly a martyrdom, a very heavy cross.

Antonios gets down to the matter at hand very well.

Generally, a potential monastic in Orthodoxy moves through distinct stages, dependant upon his/her spiritual growth and the discernment of the Spiritual Father/Mother, and since it is a communal life, the members of the monastery as well. It is not a race, having nothing to do with the Olympics as we know them today. Though both the word race, as in running (found in St. Paul) and asceticism come from the struggle which one witnesses in those who forsake virtually everything, in the case of the Olympics, for sport.

Our teachers in monasticism who have tread this way before us, commonly referred to as Fathers or Mothers of the Church, are in unison about the need for a novice to begin his/her life as a monastic in community life.

Very, very rare are the monastics who begin as hermits, though there are cases, rather people who are blessed to pursue this route. Personally, in over thirty years as a monk, I know of only one person so blessed, a truly remarkable person.

The main raison d'etre of Christian monasticism is Worship which leads to theosis of which Antonios speaks and this is most ideally expressed with others. The ideal monastery usually turns out to be the one we would not have chosen if we knew beforehand what is involved in the day to day life.

Jobs, chores, (obediences) are handed out, and invariably until the monastic heart, through the grace of the Holy Spirit changes, are like rolling a boulder up a mountain. It takes time and grace, after the initial 'bloom' wears off, to find the paradisiacal nature of the monastery God has so mercifully called us to.

The Spiritual Father of my Spiritual Father, Saint Silouan the Athonite (+1938) lived his entire monastic life within the Monastery proper (close to forty years). His disciple upon the repose of his Staretz (Geron, Elder) asked the blessing to live as a hermit. The Elders of the Monastery reply was simple: if Fr. Silouan attained such heights of grace in the monastery, why do you feel it necessary to leave and live alone? Is the monastery not good enough for you? (I am paraphrasing.)

Also the monastic life entails a tremendous fight with the Devil, usually at first manifest by thoughts (logismoi). These can be truly colossal in nature, even at times quite terrifying. Thus, woe to the monastic who enters such a way of life unprepared by years of communal life.

I live as a hermit, but this blessing came after twenty-five years in community life.

May God bless your pilgrimage.