[StoyaFanst]

Dominicn cooking is easy, boil rice being sure to seal with plastic bag for extra pollution effect. Buy a packet of seasoning from supermarket, add stock cube to meat bowl, chop up meat being sure to always leave the bones in and keep them as small as possible and disguised within an otherwise innocent looking chunk of meat (if the inlaws offer you a spoon rather than fork, this is a sure sign they are trying to keep the bones hidden from fork prongs which may alert you to them being there. Have the emergency dentist phone number for unsuspecting foreigners who aren't used to eating bones. Repeat using different meat types and colours of seasoning.

I must admit I love my wifes food, but that is as it has been adjusted for a happy medium so we can both eat each others food without making an excuse for not finishing. In the early years we ate out EVERY night bar none for 2 years, seriously!