It's pretty hard to imagine, isn't it? When I really think that I have lost 23 pounds in 30 days, it boggles my mind. Matter of fact, I got offended last week after dinner when I stepped on my scales in jeans, a sweatshirt, and boots, and hit 149.8. What IS that high number, and where did it come from (even though I KNOW that there about 6 legit reasons to all raise the scales that high) It's the damnedest thing,eh? Enjoy all of the good, and the mind issues will come. I had a hysterectomy because of horrible fibroids about 8 years ago, and for about 6 years afterwards, I would consistently look at the toilet paper after I peed. My H was like "What is THAT all about?!? What in the heck are you looking for??" I said, "to see if I started my period." He looked at me like I had 2 heads. I told him that I just couldn't get out of the mindset that I just might start bleeding for no real reason, for no known schedule. It took me about 6 YEARS to quit checking to see if I was a bloody mess! So it may take you years, but you have had far many MORE years to put your mind into that place. So be gentle with yourself, and let your H keep reminding you of how beautiful you are, and let the little successes slowly cement their proof into your head, and one day, you won't think twice about being the FIRST one into the booth.