[GOLAGLULT]

Anyone who has an answer to this should bottle it and sell it.

I wish I knew. I met my CH when I was 19 and he was 22. We've been together on and off since then and married almost 14 years. I know (or thought I knew) this guy like the back of my own hand. I had dated cheaters and he just wasn't the type. He was honest and loving and committed. He was loyal and sweet, without a roving eye. He was devoted to me and I him.

When I was 26 we got married and I didn't even consider cheating a remote possibility for us - it simply was never an issue. I cannot stress enough how much trust I placed in this man. I am a born cynic and I trust very few people in this world. That is one of the hardest things I'm dealing with...I've lost my sense of self - my ability to read people - I'm fearful that I don't know lies from truth anymore.

Finding out that 5 years into the marriage and again 11 years in, he had cheated was a major shock. I just found out about both 2 months ago - so I'm kinda new at this. It was just not something I would expect from this man. I thought I chose better. I thought FOR SURE I was in an affair-proof relationship/marriage.

Anywho...if anyone ever figures out the formula for this, please share!!!