I've had plenty of friends who are gay, I've shared houses with 3 people who are gay but I tell you what it's never stopped me using the phrase, "That's gay!". If it's apt, use it. You just use the phrase for emphasis. You hear a fairly wussy song, that song is gay. You hear a fairly stupid statement, that's retarded. You go out in the sun in July and it's ****ing hot, it doesn't mean the heat is violating one of your orifices you are just using the word for emphasis. You need to stop being so sensitive. There is a lot worse going on it the world than people saying things like, "gay" and, "retard" I suggest you use your energy trying to solve those problems first.