[Pynctyncroast]

I remember that when I was dating a Somali woman a few years ago and we were walking in her town (as any normal couple would do) we got stared at by East Africans and Middle Easterners (don't ask me why Middle Easterners would even care about it, I do not know). I mean they really stared, intense and for a long time. Women, men, young ones, older ones...and it wasn't a stare of the "oh how cute" kind but a sort of aggressive stare like they saw something they didn't like.

This is no isolated incident, I have had similar experiences with other dates/relationships with women from certain ethnicities, especially with Middle Easterners it is very annoying and it went to the edge with one date and she yelled towards a couple of older women who stared; "what the hell are you looking at?".

I have never experienced that Northern Europeans stare at "mixed relationships" when they see them, neither East Asians have stared.

Am I the only one who's experienced this? How does it look in other countries like for example USA which is a mixed society from the start?

Why do people stare at mixed couples? Don't they got better things to do? Do you people who have experienced it found it extremely annoying? What is it with mixed couples that makes some ethnicities just stare their eyes 'til bleeding situation?

Why? I demand answers.

[bestonlinepharmasy2]

The more 'endogamous' a group are, the more threatened they feel about relationships outside their ethnic norm. Somalis are super endogamous (even for Horner standards IMO), only perhaps Indians and Middle Easterners are as anti-IR.

The stares are probably directed more at the Somali girl, than at you...which is why I dont think converting to Islam for the sake of the girl, is really a hard sacrifice a western man can do. Afterall, the girl has to put up with the hostile staring and even worse, back biting and shit talking about her reputation. The man converting to Islam, will ease up on the hostility.

You might be asking me..."Yo slick, why should I even bother converting for her, she didnt give a shit about y religion. She loved me for me." This is wrong because unlike the west, where individual > community, in Somali (and muslim culture) it's the other way around. Community is more important than the individual, and to be part of that community you might have to sacrifice your individuality and conform. No mean feat, your girl has to put up with a heckuva lot more psychological shit than you having to go to masjid from time to time.

It's not as bad when it's Somali male-non Somali female. But it's there...Ahni and I didnt get alot of stares from Somali men, however some somali females acted pretty weird. For eg, when I took Ahni to a Somali restaurant, these teenage Somali girls walked in, and they acted like they didnt even see us. And I know they did, because we were the centre of that lil restaurant's universe, we just had that aura about us. Yet they acted like we didnt exist, which is cute, because I know Somali women are proud and wouldnt want to look like they give a shit enough to not approve of what they see. But in their hearts I knew they were like "Damn, why is that guy being a traitor to his race?" Ahni also picked up on other vibes that I didnt, I will ask her to elaborate.

Anyways...besides Somali women, I felt like older White people didnt approve, like they felt like ahni let them down. Again, the pressure was on ahni, not on me. IMO it's always the female who has to put up with more bullshit than the male in an interracial relationship.

Lastly...its funny how online, alot of white males have been hostile to ahni, and disparaging of her and me for being together. I've read about guys saying they will kick some ass if they see a negroid with a caucasoid girl. But I've yet to experience ONE hostile white guy say shit to our face or even confront me about not approving of what he sees. So when I read what the likes of getothracian, elias alucard, and the countless others who private message ahni, pleading her to change her heart's orientation, I feel bad for them because I know they are using ahni and myself as a means to vent alot of frustrations that they can't vent in real life.

[shashaffff]

It is not rare that men of immigrant/minority groups view women as subjects that one conquers. Some minority "supremacists" have and have had white/of majority women during history. It is only "the men" that one is against.

Having a "higher caste" ("white" in the US, lighter skinned in India and Latin America, majority in a European country) woman is sometimes giving you a form of status. Look at the actress Amanda Bynes who was with a black rapper in the end of last year and the beginning of this year. That rapper actually wrote a song about being with her and how she "was into dark meat". Now, some actually speculates that this is the reason why she will retire from acting.

It is, to these men, okay for a man to have a "higher caste" woman. But the other way around is not. Then it is "intruding on the lower caste group's rights". Also, keep in mind that far from all minority men reasons like this, and that even some "white" men in the New World can reason like this. I've never said anything else.

[IACJdKfU]

slick willy: no man,if it's a real man,does anything the woman tells him to do,as in "change for me darling",I think this applies in most cultures around the world.

Azvarohi: probably because they never seen such a "situation" before,I guess it would be like me(a blue eyed&pale skin european) going to some east asian cities/towns,I bet some people would stare.

[NodePark]

Family friend of ours brought his white fiance home to show the family..... he had to sleep at a hotel cuz his mom didn't let him in the house

Gotta love Africans

I always make jokes/threats with to mom saying that if she doesn't get off my case I'll marry a white girl

Most Nigerians I know don't support interracial marraiges, but will accept the couple (and their union) as long as they still participate in the community and the non-Nigerian/Igbo/Yoruba/etc is a good person. Everybody will stare at first (most def) but after a while they stop caring and get used to it. But the key part is that the 'foreigner' has to interact with the community;if he/she doesn't they'll only acknowledge the Nigerian and his/her kids and ignore the spouse.

---------- Post added 2010-07-14 at 03:36 ----------

It is not rare that men of immigrant/minority groups view women as subjects that one conquers. Some minority "supremacists" have and have had white/of majority women during history. It is only "the men" that one is against.

Having a "higher caste" ("white" in the US, lighter skinned in India and Latin America, majority in a European country) woman is sometimes giving you a form of status. Look at the actress Amanda Bynes who was with a black rapper in the end of last year and the beginning of this year. That rapper actually wrote a song about being with her and how she "was into dark meat". Now, some actually speculates that this is the reason why she will retire from acting.

It is, to these men, okay for a man to have a "higher caste" woman. But the other way around is not. Then it is "intruding on the lower caste group's rights". Also, keep in mind that far from all minority men reasons like this, and that even some "white" men in the New World can reason like this. I've never said anything else.

Ummm.... don't know about all this higher caste stuff. But the main reason why its okay for men to marry outside over the women is because the family name is passed thru the father. For example I can marry a white/asian/etc and my offspring will still be 100% Igbo; a female does it and the kids take on their father's name (not seen as fully Igbo).

[lollypopz]

Family friend of ours brought his white fiance home to show the family..... he had to sleep at a hotel cuz his mom didn't let him in the house

Gotta love Africans

"You are genetically killing the white people you bastard! go sleep at a hotel,you're no longer welcomed!"

[BrodiKennedy]

"You are genetically killing the white people you bastard! go sleep at a hotel,you're no longer welcomed!"

Lol... whatever. Africans and their descendants are still a minority worldwide. Whites have descendants anywhere. If anything... she's looking out for the wellfare of SSAs

[HassFks]

Ummm.... don't know about all this higher caste stuff. But the main reason why its okay for men to marry outside over the women is because the family name is passed thru the father. For example I can marry a white/asian/etc and my offspring will still be 100% Igbo; a female does it and the kids take on their father's name (not seen as fully Igbo).

This is 100% the case with Somalis too. Patriarchal societies are almost all like this.

Reminds me of the time, this young guy accompanied me and a bunch of Somali guys to a coffee shop frequented by alot of old Somali men, pinguin's age, ie pensioners and what not, who loiter in the coffee shop talking about politics and reminiscing about back home.

All of a sudden we walk in, 4 or 5 guys in our early 20s, one guy distinctly not Somali looking. They ask our buddy where he's from. He says, "I'm half Jamaican half Somali". The old men get all interested, and say... "Who is Somali, your father or your mother?" the guy says "my mom"...almost immediately, they all say, "Bah, you're no Somali" and they dismiss him, like the fact that he spoke some Somali didnt even matter anymore, lol. I felt really bad for my half Jamaican friend, because I could tell that since he was raised by his Somali mom, he felt more Somali than Jamaican...yet not accepted by anyone.

[Affolfembonge]

This is 100% the case with Somalis too. Patriarchal societies are almost all like this.

Reminds me of the time, this young guy accompanied me and a bunch of Somali guys to a coffee shop frequented by alot of old Somali men, pinguin's age, ie pensioners and what not, who loiter in the coffee shop talking about politics and reminiscing about back home.

All of a sudden we walk in, 4 or 5 guys in our early 20s, one guy distinctly not Somali looking. They ask our buddy where he's from. He says, "I'm half Jamaican half Somali". The old men get all interested, and say... "Who is Somali, your father or your mother?" the guy says "my mom"...almost immediately, they all say, "Bah, you're no Somali" and they dismiss him, like the fact that he spoke some Somali didnt even matter anymore, lol.

Roflmao!!!

[forotis]

Why the hell do they stare? Believe me, I thought you were talking about Indians for a second.

[SoorgoBardy]

Believe me, I thought you were talking about Indians for a second.

[LoloLibia]

Believe me, I thought you were talking about Indians for a second.

One of my best friends is Bengali - Even he gets stared at by his own ethnic compatriots. I suppose any deviation from their norms (Western clothing in his case) is enough to warrant a good "staring".

An old Sudani pal of mine made similar remarks about me walking around in Khartoum, except his sentence ended on a chilling note...

"Yeah, you'll get stared at non-stop...

...And then raped, probably."

[BUMbaronos]

Your Bengali friend's experience ties to my earlier point of community>individual as opposed to the west's individual>community mindset. Most traditional societies (but Islamic ones in particular) have little patience for any deviation from the "common good" of their society. It's seen as a betrayal to the community, and an indulging a selfish streak that is frowned upon...'the good of the community outweighs the individual's wants and desires". If they feel like the Bengali dude's fashion sense is making his community look bad, they will frown and not approve, and yes, stare.

Your fashion sense, your mate, your other distinctive traits all make a mark on your community, and as such you're responsible for not dishonouring your community by selfishly deviating away from the norms.

So imagine the case with extreme deviation...I'm talking about homosexuality for instance. It's why someone like Ahmadinejad said there are no gays in Iran.

[Jxmwzgpv]

They get mad at you because you're shagging a hottie of their ethnicity. It's only an obvious reaction. They all want them for themselves and don't want to share their women. Selfish basters.

[QysnZWB4]

Well because they are animals. Simply put.

But who can blame them? This is the situation here muslims are free to do whatever they want with swedish women to spare their 'virgins' (Muslim women here tend to be the most horny/easy) for marriage.

[Izzy]

They get mad at you because you're shagging a hottie of their ethnicity. It's only an obvious reaction. They all want them for themselves and don't want to share their women. Selfish basters.

So how do you deal with it? How do you deal with it when that unassuming Gringo comes to your country with his khaki shorts, Hawaiian shirt and sandals/sock combo, his non flashy ways, the sunblock on his nose...yet all your women are throwing themselves at him? While here you are, putting layers upon layers of gel in your hair, smearing your body with cologne, and unbuttoning your shirt almost till your navel's showing...and being so romantic in your latin style, yet you aint getting any love from the chiquitas...

[mr.memo]

So how do you deal with it? How do you deal with it when that unassuming Gringo comes to your country with his khaki shorts, Hawaiian shirt and sandals/sock combo, his non flashy ways, the sunblock on his nose...yet all your women are throwing themselves at him? While here you are, putting layers upon layers of gel in your hair, and unbuttoning your shirt almost till your navel's showing...and being so romantic in your latin style, yet you aint getting any love from the chiquitas...

Well, the only outsiders that come here and you see regularly are Peruvians and believe me, I really mean it, they hardly ever get any luck with women. Do you have anything else better to say than just assumptions? The only gringos I've seen here are old dudes, with sport shoes and small shorts, the camera type tourists.

[enentique]

I was talking about Mexico, but anyways...let's not go off topic.

[IvJlNwum]

I was talking about Mexico, but anyways...let's not go off topic.

But why do you say so? Is that what happens when a Gringo goes to Ethiopia?

[Kayacterype]

The only gringos I've seen here are old dudes, with sport shoes and small shorts, the camera type tourists.

LOL exactly...mayne these are the ones who are taking your most eligible women, leaving the rest of y'all fighting for scraps.


Look I google imaged "gringo" and what pops up immediately?
http://madgringo.typepad.com/photos/...thavingfun.jpg