[LxtdK9i4]

Quote from phuket-info ---> Do use the wai correctly. A Westerner should never wai first and anyone who is paying for any service is the boss and the bosses don't wai first.---> This shows how arrogant the writer is and he/she got in my nerves. I totally disagree with this. Don't you see that politicians in Thailand they pay Thais to vote for them and they also Wai all the farmers, street vendors etc....

I saw many cases where well educated person who had good careers wai elderly or their seniors friend and neighbours to greet. We don't ' Wai ' for business, we do it to greet people, to open a conversation.

If you (the writer) think that 'anyone who is paying for any service is the boss and the bosses don't Wai first' --- do me a favour, will ya...stick that coin in your A... and keep it for yourself. It's simply an arrogant a...

I am interested in to know who wrote this, a Thai or a Foreigner!!! Not that I would put them in jail but just want to see that arrogant a...

Sorry for losing my temper...and this is one of the writer's don'ts - lol
~Lime~

[Butiqueso]

Actually there's no right or wrong. I still "wai" my customers and some of them younger than me and they find it amusing. But its really not necessary to "wai" back to every waiters, waitresses you see in a restaurant who "wai" at you. I used to be one of those very eager foreigners to "wai" back ("lap wai") at every "wai" but now I find it amusing seeing other foreigners doing it.

[Bejemoelemymn]

Although the writer is over emphasizing it a bit, is is actually more "customary" for the server, clerk, younger individual, to wai first.

His writing is probably based on observing tourists giving a wai to anything that moves!

The politicians wai is based on two things; first, In the chain of command, they are servants of the people. Secondly, they is humble, down home folks!

[Butiqueso]

I didn't realise the OP was a Thai. Anyway, I really have not seen Thai politicians "wai" to the farmers or street vendors except the other way round... I suppose the only time the politicians will "wai" to the common people will be near election days. That or when he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

[N9u9ie4p]

Got no problem with the wais. I wai in Thailand whenever I just want to be very polite; shopkeepers, monks and novices on the streets, receptionists - especially when I want to ask questions etc.

[Hamucevasiop]

" Don't you see that politicians in Thailand they pay Thais to vote for them and they also Wai all the farmers, street vendors etc...."

[LxtdK9i4]

Thank you all for your responses. Please don't get me wrong, I am not anti-foreigners but I am amazed by a so-called Thailand information centre in Thailand has listed such ridiculous don'ts. You can't just observe what tourists/expats/foreigners do and assume that it's what the rest should do. Especially the dos and the don'ts that are related to the culture.

I must admit that the politicians usually wai when they campaign and after that - no comment lol.

Bucky - What is the OP? It is interesting that you didn't realise that I was Thai (If that what OP means ) I also do the 'lab wai', too.

There are different types of 'Wai' with different degrees. I'll post about that later...

Cheers,
~Lime~

[77Dinaartickire]

OP means Original Poster, the person whom made post #1 in a thread.

David

[mikeyyuiok]

I guess it's their way of greetings..

[Butiqueso]

Bucky - What is the OP? It is interesting that you didn't realise that I was Thai (If that what OP means ) I also do the 'lab wai', too.

There are different types of 'Wai' with different degrees. I'll post about that later...

Yes I didn't realise you are Thai and was abit surprised that you are because as explained when I first came to Thailand, I "lap wai" everytime even to the service people (waiters, customer services, greeter at banks, security guards, etc) and it was the Thai who advised me that it is not necessary. Nowadays I only "lap wai" if I'm a regular to the restaurant or gym where the service people "genuinely" wai at me.

Personally, I don't think that quote from phuket was wrong because it advised foreigners not to "wai" first (to service providers). It is ok for foreigners not to "wai" first because it is not foreigners' culture. Even nowadays younger Thai are adapting to hand shakes during business meetings with foreigners. My point is the quote did not advise foreigners not to "lap wai". There is a difference. Although I think it is still ok if you do not "lap wai" at restaurants or front door of the bank unless you are a regular there and the staffs know you. It just look abit snobbish if you do not "lap wai" but it seems acceptable nowadays if you are the customer in the supermarket or restaurants. Imagine you are carrying bags of groceries at the supermarket and every staffs along the way "wai" you for using their services or the auntie inside the toilet "wai" you for using their toilets. A simple smile back to show your appreciation will do in my opinion.

[TOD4wDTQ]

Yes I didn't realise you are Thai and was abit surprised that you are because as explained when I first came to Thailand, I "lap wai" everytime even to the service people (waiters, customer services, greeter at banks, security guards, etc) and it was the Thai who advised me that it is not necessary.

I agree, I have been advised the same thing. To take it further I actually have no memory of ever seeing a Thai do it under ordinary circumstances.

Personally, I don't think that quote from phuket was wrong because it advised foreigners not to "wai" first (to service providers). It is ok for foreigners not to "wai" first because it is not foreigners' culture.

Not to wai first also reduces the risk for any faux pases

[L8fGLM4d]

Not to wai first also reduces the risk for any faux pases

I am absolutely no expert on Thai culture, but I do wai first on lots of occasions. maybe I am wrong but this is how I feel good about it.
- the obvious case is when I am on gate duty and I wai all the 200 or so people who pass me by (such a waste of time)
- if I meet someone higher up the social ladder - greeting a doctor, immigration official, policeman in the traffic fines department
- if I enter someone's house as a guest, no matter what their age, or get introduced to people who are the same age as me or older (e.g. colleague's parents come to school for some reason or we need to attend a wedding / funeral in a colleague's family)
- if someone does a favour for me or goes out of their way to help - for example, run around to try to change a 500 baht note for me, agree to cook something that is not on the menu, pick up stuff I dropped, lets me leave luggage in the guesthouse at no charge until departure, answers a million stupid questions and arranges a flight / visa / whatever against the odds, allows me to borrow something expensive or important such as a camera, etc. situations when in English you genuinely say "oh thank you very much", not just an automatic "thank you" with no real meaning.
- if someone hands over money - not change in the supermarket, but salary in the school office, parent paying for a book, borrowing money from a colleague (even if 20 baht) or getting such loan back from them.

[TOD4wDTQ]

I am absolutely no expert on Thai culture, but I do wai first on lots of occasions. maybe I am wrong but this is how I feel good about it.
- the obvious case is when I am on gate duty and I wai all the 200 or so people who pass me by (such a waste of time)
- if I meet someone higher up the social ladder - greeting a doctor, immigration official, policeman in the traffic fines department
- if I enter someone's house as a guest, no matter what their age, or get introduced to people who are the same age as me or older (e.g. colleague's parents come to school for some reason or we need to attend a wedding / funeral in a colleague's family)
- if someone does a favour for me or goes out of their way to help - for example, run around to try to change a 500 baht note for me, agree to cook something that is not on the menu, pick up stuff I dropped, lets me leave luggage in the guesthouse at no charge until departure, answers a million stupid questions and arranges a flight / visa / whatever against the odds, allows me to borrow something expensive or important such as a camera, etc. situations when in English you genuinely say "oh thank you very much", not just an automatic "thank you" with no real meaning.
- if someone hands over money - not change in the supermarket, but salary in the school office, parent paying for a book, borrowing money from a colleague (even if 20 baht) or getting such loan back from them.

You are past the faux pases stage

[LxtdK9i4]

Good morning all,

After reading your responses, it made me realise that some of my belief about Thailand is differnt from a lot of Thais. I didn't realise that waiing the servants, or some one who is below you is not acceptable.

I treat everybody the same regardless their backgrounds and that's why I got really angry the way the writer worded especially when he/she says... ' the person who has the money is the boss ' which may sound right but in fact it's the other way around. What I mean is for example, a food seller doesn't want to sell his food to you...you may as well eat your coins!!! or refuse to serve you then you can be your own boss

WoW...Betti you wai a lot. I don't think you need to wai everysingle time when people do things for you. Thai people don't. Some of your situation, ' Thank you very much ' is more than enough - you are so polite

P.S - I thought that the dos and the don'ts are more related to the culture rather than how human behave. - My due, my original post applies to every country on this planet not just the in Thailand.

Apologies to all if my original post sounds a bit harsh but it was an honest one

Thanks again for your input.

Cheers,
~Lime~

[L8fGLM4d]

another thing I forgot is that it seems people in Bangkok wai much less than upcountry.
a friend of mine had to be taught how to wai properly, he says, before he went to see his girlfriend's family in Isaan. he hadn't needed to wai in his first two and a half years in Bangkok and had hardly ever seen anyone wai, he told me.

[TOD4wDTQ]

Good morning all,

After reading your responses, it made me realise that some of my belief about Thailand is differnt from a lot of Thais. I didn't realise that waiing the servants, or some one who is below you is not acceptable.

I treat everybody the same regardless their backgrounds and that's why I got really angry the way the writer worded especially when he/she says... ' the person who has the money is the boss ' which may sound right but in fact it's the other way around. What I mean is for example, a food seller doesn't want to sell his food to you...you may as well eat your coins!!! or refuse to serve you then you can be your own boss

In Sweden we say "the customer is always right" which may also sound right but in fact it's often wrong The point I would like to make is I don't believe one should draw to wide conclusions

Similar to how we in the west shake hands. We simply don't shake the hands of the staff in Mc Donalds and frankly I would find it confusing if people started to do it perhaps just as confusing as a Thai would if you wai-ed him first when you aren't supposed to wai him at all

another thing I forgot is that it seems people in Bangkok wai much less than upcountry.
a friend of mine had to be taught how to wai properly, he says, before he went to see his girlfriend's family in Isaan. he hadn't needed to wai in his first two and a half years in Bangkok and had hardly ever seen anyone wai, he told me.

I never been in Isaan but I been a lot in Bangkok and people wai a lot there

[L8fGLM4d]

Sved: he was working at a multi-national company with young Thais. I believe him he had hardly even seen a wai for years because he is usually very perceptive about cultural things, he bothered to learn to speak Thai as well, not just an expat who only just has an idea which country he is being stationed at.
again, maybe I am getting it wrong, but a wai is not just the equivalent of a handshake. it is also a "thank you". eg young kids at school need to wai before they take anything from a teacher's hand.

[fameintatenly]

I agree, Betti. A wai is way more than just a handshake. In my opinion there are subtleties which require fluency in the culture as well as language.

I don't believe I ever really mastered the wai, but I hope that after the initial period of embarrasing mistakes, my errors were at least on the side of caution.

[N9u9ie4p]

I agree, Betti. A wai is way more than just a handshake. .

Agreed with both ladies...

[TOD4wDTQ]

Sved: he was working at a multi-national company with young Thais. I believe him he had hardly even seen a wai for years because he is usually very perceptive about cultural things, he bothered to learn to speak Thai as well, not just an expat who only just has an idea which country he is being stationed at.
again, maybe I am getting it wrong, but a wai is not just the equivalent of a handshake. it is also a "thank you". eg young kids at school need to wai before they take anything from a teacher's hand.

Not disputing your friends experience I only wish to point out there are different experiences as well. Based on my experience I am not about to declare Bangkok a wai free zone.

I never said it was equivalent I said it was similar and gave an example which I believe is sufficient to make my point