How to determine if you are an engineer
 

How to determine if you are an engineer:

The only jokes you receive are through email (OUCH)

At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.

Buying flowers for your girlfriend/boyfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma

If you find that you have to often explain how to use the gifts you have given other people.

Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room

In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure

The Salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

You are always late to meetings

You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling

You are next in line on death row in a French Prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly, so you offer to fix it.

You bought your wife/husband a new CD ROM drive for her birthday

You forget to get a haircut (for 6 months!)

You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting

You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines

You comment to your wife/husband that her straight hair is nice and parallel

You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects

You have Dilbert comics/paraphernalia displayed anywhere in your work area
(Kenzan's note) I fixed the typos in the word "paraphernalia" http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif

You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

You have more friends on the internet than in real life

You have backed up your hard drive

You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.

You have used coat hangars and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

You know what http:// stands for

You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

You see a good design and still have to change it

You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring

You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it

You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory

You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep

You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)

You window shop at Radio Shack

You're in the backseat of your car, she/he is looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite

Your checkbook always balances

Your laptop computer costs more than your car

Your wife/husband hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work

Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz Pentium

Kenzan's Note..That's CAPITOL "P" in Pentium.Corrected.http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif

You've already calculated how much you make per second

You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio

Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.Chocolate
http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif

Taken from:

http://www.dbooth.net/internerd/engineers.cfm

If you actually calculated your % score on this test... (47.5%)

hehe, that is sooo chidokan http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif
http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/tongue.gif

I think calculationg your percentage of this test should also qualify as a test question http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ilies/wink.gif

I didn't bother counting my total but I would guess something like 30-40%.

How about if you went through the list mentally checking off the statements that were obviously not conceived by an engineer?

Also, on the dillema of buying flowers for s.o. or RAM for the computer - if you're an engineer, you're making fat sacks of cash money, so you buy both.

Hank.

It's pretty dated, and that engine room crack wasn't even funny. Of course I'm down there with the snipes, being relieved of my cash through the application of a pegboard and a deck of cards.

I gotta agree with Perry. That list is awfully dated. I say we should throw in some updates!

If you know what an FPGA is and what the initials stand for!
If you can describe an FFT.
If you know how to use Matlab.
If you know the meaning of CCA and PWB.

If you know that FPGA and FFT are already dated expressions... or at least, have been in use a long time.

I believe it stands for "I don't want to draw Karnaugh maps" http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/tongue.gif

I have regretfully not programmed an FPGA, but I have successfully programmed (and short circuited, go me!) a few CPLD:s http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...lies/smile.gif

All the quotes were so electrical and we know that Electrical Engineer is just a semi engineer. http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...lies/smile.gif

The sad part is that I actually exported the list into excel, scored and got the %... (0,56097561).... Not sure what the cutoff percentage to be an engineer is but I definitely felt like a GEEK afterwards....

Matlab's been around for 20 years hasn't it?

Big One, some of my best friends are EE's. Not sure I'd want their children dating my daughter though.

METALLURGICAL ENGINEERING FOREVER!

Final Fantasy Tactics?

Electrical Engineers are needed to make things for the Software Engineers to bitch about.

Any gearhead or bucket chemists out there? Are you guys ALL EE,SE,CSC??

Wait a minute, does the fact I'm an ACM member (ok, used to be) qualify me as a junior member? I even know how to program PLC in Ladder http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif

I started my mining engineering degree, then realised I wouldnt get to do all the fun stuff, so I switched to mining geology. I havent regretted it yet!

Ah, but without Systems Engineers, neither would have permissions to bitch.
http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...es/biggrin.gif

Fast Fourier Transform.

I'm a ChemE - don't feel alone.


Hank.

How about a couple of Chem E's? Both my wife and I are Chem E's working in the environmental fields (different schools and employers though). So we get to talk about LaPlace Transforms, McCabe-Thiele diagrams, Rauschig Rings and how to remediate tetracyclohexamethyldeath. Naaah, not really, mostly we talk about kendo and iaido.

Hey, another Chem E. What are you doing in Beantown? I almost accepted a transfer there, actually Wakefield, about 20 years ago. Ended up in Sacramento, where I met my wife (well, technically she wasn't my wife when I met her). Been here ever since.