[gymnAnemoe]

.... I cant figure out how I can avoid him killing me after I present it to him.

You need to take some lessons from the doctors and professors, then you'll be able to defend yourself against your TKD instructor.

[MrsGoo]

[A catchy forum name]
[join date: aug 2010]
[posts: 0]

----------------
[forum signature with the words true, apprentice, wisdom and warrior]

I am writing on the behalf of THe legue of EnlityenPersonens USW (United Startes of the World) and its founder, Lord Grand High Joe Dirt, 12 shadow danninja (school name is not allowed t be publised on public forum), Most awsome Sparata (Spear, Shield formation fighting), 9Dan Snake Wrestler, 7th Dan Club Fighting, and all round Good guy , who was so disrespectfully mentioned in this thread. I have the responsibility to check all over the internet for improper mentions of His/Her name, and because you are very disrespectful and I don't have a sense of humour or a properly developed grasp on reality, I'm going to write a very long post explaining why his awsomeness is teh awesome and deserves Ultimate Respect.
lastweekiwaswalkingdownthestreetandgotmugegedallof asuddenallthenastysweredeadiwasshakinginfearbutthe windwisperttomegoto99backallyandyouwillfindenlight mentiwasfearfullbutwentanywaythereimeetlordhighaws omenessandmanypeoplelikemyselfhetrainedusandwithin anhourihadfoundenlightmentiwasafradeofnotingankkne wiwasrightabouteverythingsincethenihavespreadmrlor dhighawsomnessospsyholisphysinceyouareintheuniteds tatesoftheworldyoucanexpectmetodropbyyourplacelate rthisweektonenlightyoushwrespectyoudirtscuremudthi ng
This person has done a great service to the martial arts world and His/Her community, with over 234 years of solid hard discplinedintense superhuman almost goldlike under only the bestmaster from all around the USW practice! After travelling through Pangeae, He/She attained illumination and decided to abandon the empty and not-realistic-enough world of normal, serious martial arts with all their kata nonsense. He/She knows what realistic is because of 74 years serving in the Roman Legion and taking part in both WWI & WWII, so He/She can kick some serious ass and is a tr00 patriot!
Everyone from any martial art know of our Loar high awsome master, infact when you bow you are actally bowing to him. but you already know thins your just Jelouse your so week in skill and mind that yousannot apporact his awsomenessessessessess
There's nothing wrong in making up your own martial art and posing in silly "kamae" for pictures, I have spent my year work at Google just listing a few of them did the same and nobody is complaining, because that would be disrespect and teh Asians are all about respect and stuff. Lord Grand High Joe Dirt, 12 shadow danninja (school name is not allowed t be publised on public forum), Most awsome Sparata (Spear, Shield formation fighting), 9Dan Snake Wrestler, 7th Dan Club Fighting, and all round Good guy studied fingerpuppet fighting, ego enflating, basic and advanct stick worrling, basing and advance rubber knfie poking music clips from 1988 onwards, pertol sniffing glue sniffing, bum sniffing for between 10 and 50 years each in succession and because He/She is such a talented genius He/She just brushed off all the crap they usually have and grouped the good kick-ass stuff together to create Koo-Eee Kee-ooo Owwa-chhe. By the way, Lord Grand High Joe Dirt, 12 shadow danninja (school name is not allowed t be publised on public forum), Most awsome Sparata (Spear, Shield formation fighting), 9Dan Snake Wrestler, 7th Dan Club Fighting, and all round Good guy teaches a lot of respect in Koo-Eee Kee-ooo Owwa-chhe.

evryoneherehasaverybingheadandatinlymouthyourfinge raorshortandstubbyfromtypingcraponthekeyboardstoof ten.youreyesaresquarenottomentionyourwaytoskinyeak morefastfoodprofrebalyfromLoardhighawsomnessfastfo odchaingwhichcontainsthesecertingerdateyomakeevery oneawsome

If youdon't take back your very mean cmment we will get the interglatic federation of pink eyed round eared aliens to give yoursensei total labomities and other nasty stuff. they really like us so they will do it. My Load high mr Awsomeness leader akso beeat the crap out of their worldly powerfull leader just before he invaded earth. so you owe us anyway :P

Confuse Say morions are dump.

I like your, were going to be bets of Friends. I can see that.

[MaraReenece]

Whoah. That was almost as confusing as the real thing. b

[Savviioor]

There are 15th dan bujinkan people as I recall.

[SHpuntik]

'Menkyo Hanshi Hassan is presently the only surviving student in the continental United States to be taught by Great Grand Master James M. Mitose. He is the only Menkyo Hanshi who teaches the ancient and traditional Koga Ha Kosho Shorei Ryu Temple Dance/Escaping Art systems.'

Now I'd pay to see that.

Are these people allowed to vote in elections and stuff?

[CurtisTH]

So many "patches" and red trimming... I...am...lost...for...words!! Teach me o great ones!!

Now, lets go have a beer dammit!

[ButKnillinoi]

[A catchy forum name]
[join date: aug 2010]
[posts: 0]

I am writing on the behalf of [grandiose organization name] and its founder, [title, probably fake][name, nondescript][moar titles, Asian, used wrong], who was so disrespectfully mentioned in this thread. I have the responsibility to check all over the internet for improper mentions of His/Her name, and because you are very disrespectful and I don't have a sense of humour or a properly developed grasp on reality, I'm going to write a very long post explaining why [title][name][moar titles] is teh awesome and deserves Ultimate Respect.
[no paragraphs or reasonable punctuation]
This person has done a great service to the martial arts world and His/Her community, with over [inflated number] years of [long chain of adjectives] practice! After travelling through [a whole continent], He/She attained illumination and decided to abandon the empty and not-realistic-enough world of normal, serious martial arts with all their kata nonsense. He/She knows what realistic is because of [random number] years serving in the [random armed forces/law enforcement/ boy/girl scouts], so He/She can kick some serious ass and is a tr00 patriot!
[Comment on how practitioners of Kendo/Iaido should know what respect is and act more like Asians]
There's nothing wrong in making up your own martial art and posing in silly "kamae" for pictures, [long list of random examples including, but not limited to, Jigoro Kano, Morihei Ueshiba, Bruce Lee, Jesus Christ] did the same and nobody is complaining, because that would be disrespect and teh Asians are all about respect and stuff. [Title][name][moar titles] studied [boringly large enumeration of martial arts] for [10-50] years and because He/She is such a talented genius He/She just brushed off all the crap they usually have and grouped the good kick-ass stuff together to create [fake Asian-sounding name/dumb acronym]. By the way, [title][name][moar titles] teaches a lot of respect in [fake Asian-sounding name/dumb acronym].
[More blabber on how disrespectful this forum is]
[Threat of legal action]
[A small treatise on respect, referred to as an old Asian saying/adage/story, most likely involving an old man and a young man or animals]
[A very polite closing]
[A catchy forum name]
[Administrative position in [grandiose organization name], possibly made up]

----------------
[forum signature with the words true, apprentice, wisdom and warrior]

This.

Very nice work.

[BILBONDER]

Pah, that organisation is for losers!

Check: http://www.soke.org/members.htm

Particularly Lawrence Valadez, Soke of Valadez Kenpo-Ryu, who looks to be about 15 yrs old.

Its got to be a family thing the all have the last name "SOKE". I mean how often are you gonna find that?

[arreskslarlig]

You forgot the proper way to spell "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

That crown is soooooooooooo my English is insufficient to describe it.

I think they gave that same crown to Snoop Dogg at the last "Playas and Pimps" Ball.......... Along with a shiny bejeweled pimp cup.

[Carfanate]

The King of Martial Arts. FLAVOR-FLAV!

[offemyJuccete]

you guys should google the word sokeship.

It's hilarious

http://www.internationalgrandmasterscouncil.com/
(at 3/4 Grandmaster Soclair)

http://www.sokeship.com/
(Soclair again, seems he really want to look legit after that painful Bullshido disaster)

http://www.ioskdka.com/sokeship.html
it goes on and on.

http://budokaikan.tripod.com/budokai...onal/id13.html

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=95677420267
sokeship (is that even a word?) goes facebook.

and yes, the sokeship DVD:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIbx2XPSnnk

[Everwondopedo]

you guys should google the word sokeshit.

There you go Tijs, I fixed it for ya.

[bapimporb]

http://www.internationalgrandmasterscouncil.com/
(at 3/4 Grandmaster Soclair)

Chuck Norris and Jet Li are on it. It must be legit!

"GRANDMASTER CHUCK NORRIS WORLDWIDE RESPECTED COUNCIL MEMBER USA."

"GRANDMASTER JET LEE WORLDWIDE RESPECTED COUNCIL MEMBER USA."

[crazuMovies]

Ive got lots of belts in my wardrobe. Looks like I should paint them red and gold and put sparkly bits on them and proclaim myself Grandmastersoke15thdan, 10 times world champion of full-contact cheesecake ryu fighting.

[UKkoXJvF]

you guys should google the word sokeship.

It's hilarious

Hey man! haven't you noticed quite a lot of these guys are WORLDWIDE RESPECTED?

[Piediahef]

Hey man! haven't you noticed quite a lot of these guys are WORLDWIDE RESPECTED?

Go to your local bookshop and see how many have "Number one bestseller" or something similar on the cover.
Same thing, unsupported, unprovable marketting bullshit.

[SkatrySkith]

Ive got lots of belts in my wardrobe. Looks like I should paint them red and gold and put sparkly bits on them and proclaim myself Grandmastersoke15thdan, 10 times world champion of full-contact cheesecake ryu fighting.

Would you be interested in taking on a new student, i like the idea of combining food and fighting


Fuzzy

[bestworkothlo]

Go to your local bookshop and see how many have "Number one bestseller" or something similar on the cover.
Same thing, unsupported, unprovable marketting bullshit.

But, they've got a website and everything! It must be true!!!!

[masteryxisman]

you guys should google the word sokeship.

It's hilarious

They should get new keyboards. It seems their caps lock keys are broken.

[intifatry]

Here's an interesting point though. At which point do you start taking them seriously? There are many schools of Karate for example and at first they must've been ridiculed by the schools they splintered from. When and how did, say, Wado Ryu for example gain its legitimacy and from whom? Didn't they just set up on themselves, get an association going, dojos affiliated to them, enter a few competitions etc? A martial art set up by a film star immigrant from Hong Kong or something and it being a fusion of Tai Chi Chuan, Wing Chung Pa Gua etc. How they must've lauged but it became Jeet Kune Do and the founder, Bruce Lee! Who says Seitei Iai with its non-practical techniques stolen and sanitised from Koryu is 'kosher'? The people running the association and taking our money for doing their courses, affiliating our dojo to them and paying £40 for a certificate? When does a 'new system' become legitimate?