[Vikonbarius]

You're a little ****

If you don't feel anything for her, **** off and stop pretending like you do to her.

I always knew you were a ****

[MaraReenece]

Sounds like you're considering marrying for the free house.

If that's really what you want, I can pretty much assure you that that's all you'll get out of it.

[doksSirmAdods]

I am at that point with my wife. I was here in China for a few months before she came over, she was in the US living with my mother. Well she had access to our tax returns, savings, and her then newly acquired unemployment. I needed money over here, and I had expenses to pay for before she got here. She blew a ton of money and we fought all the time. I was around all these gorgeous Chinese women *still am* and I have this half wit at home..with my 9 month old son. So I bit the bullet, she got here with my son and I retook control of the finances. Now its just...why am I still in this marriage? She doesn't cook, she barely cleans, she complains all the time about everything, I can't even remember the happy times when we were dating. All I do know is I am in the marriage for my son, because if I tell her to go it is all the way back to Cali, and I am in China for a while so that means missing my son grow up.

Point is, your at the point that almost all relationships hit, you need to remember why your where you are. What you had before and if it is still there or can be achieved again. No relationship stays the same as it began because you get comfortable. There definitely ARE more fish out there, but is sacrificing a 2 year relationship and a possibly promising future to find another girl and life worth it? I wouldn't marry her just for the house, but take her with you. See how a new environment can affect your relationship. Maybe you will find something new in her that you didn't know about before. Maybe you both will find something new. If it works out great, if it doesn't then you can talk things through and manage a stable break up. Or hell, work a deal out where she does her thing and you do yours, you just split the house up.

In the end it is what you want. Never marry just to marry, but don't assume that love is elsewhere. And damn well don't have any kids if you are even thinking of something else, once you hold that baby in your arms and it looks up at you, there is no going back...trust me.

[Elelaytet]

Sounds like you're considering marrying for the free house.

If that's really what you want, I can pretty much assure you that that's all you'll get out of it.

Not entirely accurate. You see, if I ditch this girl and find someone I AM attracted to, what are the chances.. after say, 2 years or after kids, the feeling will just fade away and be similar to what I have now? You see what I am saying?

Truth is, I am not doing this for the house, (besides, this is an opportunity for her to get out of Singapore and an opportunity for her parents to invest overseas). This "using" thing works both ways. But for me, I think I am more self-conscious about it than they are; I'm not a user, I'm independent and self-reliant. But time is catching up with me, I may not get this opportunity again and I may make a mistake if I do not take it, and i'm not talking about the house, i'm talking about the girl, the question is, how will I feel about this 10 years from now? Will there be a storm or will it clear?

[megasprut]

Sad.

[erepsysoulptnw]

Hips out boys. This is a family site.

[johnbeller]

Don't let events and convenient timing screw up your judgment.

I had no doubts when I got married. No guarantees -- it's a two-way street and people change. But ours has been great -- anniversary #22 coming up shortly.

If you have doubts, I would advise against marriage.

[ëàìèíàò]

you're a perv Ali... sometimes I forget you're a girl

[VastDrura]

First, I'd drop the cliched metaphors.

Second, you'll be marrying for the same reasons a lot of girls here in China get married for: money and security. Not only do you not love her and will not be happy in the relationship, she'll be the "man." Her parents bought the house and will likely pay for who knows what. The best marriages are an equal partnership based on love. You and the girl have neither of those. So don't do it!!!

Zaku, work things out with your wife. Try talking to her as a human being. Hell, try talking about her as a human being.

[wp6Eg2Fm]

Nonsense. I've seen this a lot in China. He's away from his wife surrounded by all this young Chinese putang, who are often rather flirty with foreigners. Now his wife isn't looking so hot, so he starts demonizing her to lay the foundation to justify his sexual misadventures. All so he can satisfy his ethnic fetish.

[dittygari]

Sounds like a long, hard slog in life to marry someone that you aren't even moderately attracted to or have some feelings for. A real drag. Why put yourself through it?

[mpegdvdclip]

2 years and nothing. Time to walk. If you don't just maybe thing will turn around, but that is a big if/maybe.
I met my wife July 31, 1964 and we were married Nov. 8, 1964. We had our ups and downs, but some how we made it. Number 45 coming up this Nov. We have 4 kids.
Daughter 43, Son 40 and twin Daughter 37.

Congrats!

[BaselBimbooooo]

DaShi, don't get me wrong I love my wife it just isn't the marriage it started off as. I don't run around telling people to never get married, like my uncle (divorced twice) did with me. I just give my story. My wife is Hispanic (strong willed), and she is a veteran as well. She does things around the house, but if I ask for something like, I don't know, cleaning the house while I am at work instead of me cleaning it after work like always then she snaps at me. I was a stay at home dad for the first 6 months of my son's being. I cooked, cleaned, shopped, took care of the new born, did everything, and still had time for myself. Now the roll is reversed but it isn't completely reversed since I still do the cooking and cleaning. I know better than to walk into a fight with her, so I just bite my tongue, do what I need done, and she knows exactly what she did wrong even if she argues she wasn't wrong. I didn't cheat on my wife at all when I was here, not to say I didn't have the chance, but I cheated when I was a kid, I have been cheated on, and I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. I don't have an ethnic taste, I had numerous ethnic groups when I was in Korea, I grew up after that. I don't spoil her, but I do give her a lot.

But like jrabbit said, its a two way street. You have to give not just get.

[neguoogleX]

Your wife is probably unhappy that she is in a foreign country, and wants to return to 'home'.

Try to take her out/etc.

You obviously are better equiped to deal with your current situation.

Please empathize.

JM

[GAGNAPPEAPH]

DaShi, don't get me wrong I love my wife it just isn't the marriage it started off as. I don't run around telling people to never get married, like my uncle (divorced twice) did with me. I just give my story. My wife is Hispanic (strong willed), and she is a veteran as well. She does things around the house, but if I ask for something like, I don't know, cleaning the house while I am at work instead of me cleaning it after work like always then she snaps at me. I was a stay at home dad for the first 6 months of my son's being. I cooked, cleaned, shopped, took care of the new born, did everything, and still had time for myself. Now the roll is reversed but it isn't completely reversed since I still do the cooking and cleaning. I know better than to walk into a fight with her, so I just bite my tongue, do what I need done, and she knows exactly what she did wrong even if she argues she wasn't wrong. I didn't cheat on my wife at all when I was here, not to say I didn't have the chance, but I cheated when I was a kid, I have been cheated on, and I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. I don't have an ethnic taste, I had numerous ethnic groups when I was in Korea, I grew up after that. I don't spoil her, but I do give her a lot.

But like jrabbit said, its a two way street. You have to give not just get.

Dude you don't have to explain anything that fvcking loser!
What does he know? Besides, I think he's gay.

[xpllmr]

Frosty Boy, how would you feel if a girl did the same to you?

Was like "I don't really love this person, but I might not be able to find any better and they have wealthy parents and will give me a house/etc...".

JM

I do get it. It's not the now that I am questioning. I am questioning the future.


From some of the experienced posters here, it seems the attraction doesn't die out.

[propolo]

You live life once and nothing is free. Walk away now.

I'll add to that, don't be married to a girl you don't love when you meet a girl you do.

[gugqgbyzlp]

Try to rekindle the magic you had when you first started dating but if after that you still feel nothing then be true to yourself and break it off.

[RsQhyZyR]

BTW picts would be helpful.

How so?

[Olphander]

If that's his girlfriend then he should definitely dump her.