[mGUuZRyA]

You need to lay off the acid.

[UHlVExs7]

What the hell..

[alecaf]

Lancer was nervous. Earlier, he'd asked Alinestra to join him in an intimate tête-à-tête, but, as was her nature, she'd remained noncommittal.

"I'll call before I come," she had whispered. "I'll give you a heads-up about the evening."

He glanced at the clock again, the fifth time in as many minutes. Its hands seemed to be all over the place, anywhere and everywhere except where they should be, at a half-past nine. Lancer ran his hands through his hair and sighed. The waiting was interminable. And, was it just him, or was the apartment rather hot?

His phone vibrated. Jerking his hand away from his head, he reached into his pocket to whip it out, and was rewarded with a new text message--not from Ms. Covelia, but from Slowwhand.

All right if i come?

Busy, but if you want, Lancer replied.

Kk, bringing friends for some head-to-head.

Moments later, Sloww arrived with Verto, Ben Kenobi, and Asher in tow. Ben and Asher were arguing like an old married couple, Ben gesticulating with his hands, yelling with bulging cheeks, and Asher poking the air forcefully with a long, tapered finger.

"Sorry about them," Sloww said, "we walked past someone looking like Grandpa Troll chatting up Ming and rah. Asher wanted to stop and say hi, but Ben kept saying that they weren't the mods we were looking for."

Lancer giggled. "Well, let's hope whoever those three are, they'll have a grand old time. Would you like some wine? I've got a nice Riesling and... um. Some red."

Across the hall, Lancer's neighbor, Comrade Snuggles, had just stepped out of his door for the mail. Overhearing a mention of the red, he offered, "I'd love some. Since Bunnygirl is off on some Greek island with Alinestra, I've got nothing to do."

Lancer started. He was rather disappointed to hear this, but his sadness was interrupted by Sloww's cheerful, eager reply. "Join us! The more the merrier! We can Brawl all night on the Wii."

"Sweet!" chimed Verto. "I want to lay some pipe with Mario!"

***

An hour later, the five of them sweaty, in various stages of undress, and exhausted from all of the buttons they'd been pressing, they heard a knock on the door. Answering the door, Lancer was greeted with an eyeful: HARDMAN, dressed in nothing but chaps and an open leather jacket.

"HELLO!" he yelled, as he marched in and popped a DVD into the player. "I KNOW U WANT TO SEE THIS BCOZ U R ALL GAY *****!"

The screen flashed to life; its glow caressed the faces of the audience, as it began to show the faces of Urban Ranger and Ned in a helicopter cockpit. The title flashed on the screen for a moment: Going Down.

The camera panned, showing a Fez on Ned's head, a rather disturbing sight.

All hot and bothered, the audience gasped as they watched the scene. And then rewatched it. And then, when the movie ended and the lights went out, only a moan could be heard from the group.

In the darkness, Lancer turned to Sloww, resting his head against his chest, whispering.

"I'm so glad you came over. I... I just want to tell how I'm feeling. Gotta... make you undestand."

Sloww held him tight. "I'm never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down..."

[traithJah]

Q Classic, that's a modern classic. You just made my day.

[Pasy]

too fawnee

[xpllmr]

[Bondjrno]

Ditto.

[SueveDobe]

Asher, rah, I could try to incorporate you into a sequel to the one written above.

But, on second thought, maybe it should remain a one-shot?

[oplapofffe]

Only so long as Asher is on the bottom where he belongs

[fotodemujerahldesnugdo]

Dude, I never dream about you. I might have nightmares where you threaten to show me what gay sex can do to shrivel ones penis, but I never have dreams about you.

[Eh085zE7]

*takes notes on the recent turn of conversation*