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#1 |
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A very nice young
woman that I\'ve been interested in for years is now separated from her Husband. She kicked him out about two months ago for being an A-hole. Good for her is what I say and maybe good for me too. I managed to get the door open by knowing her for years and by wearing Doc\'s new Preros. I really think the Pheros mix I was using had something to do with it, especially after todays convo with her. I sense she\'s seeing me in a different light but who knows for sure. I do know that things are moving along between us as she plans on calling me tonight. My instincts tell me to just be cool and not to be in a hurry. That\'s my plan but it\'s been a long time since I played the newly separated game. What are some other strategies? Would it be wiser to put on a full court press? |
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#3 |
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#4 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> Ash I think you\'ve got the right idea...play it cool...not full court press...let her lead the way...she\'s probably feeling confused & vulnerable at this point...Hats off to you for being so considerate to her since you probably could take advantage of the situation... |
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#5 |
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#6 |
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All and all
not a real good week. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] I had high hopes for it and it looked like it was going to be a good one but it crapped out. The woman I met in the bar last Saturday was a no show this Saturday and the newly separated hot babe never dropped the dime. I saw her yesterday and she said she still planed on calling and I\'m sure she will. It will be interesting to see where that one goes. I blew it with the bar woman though. She was only about a 7 by Island standards (that would put her at about a 5 anywhere else in the world) so I didn\'t do all the things I should/could have done to further Freddy\'s interests. By mid-week Freddy was doing some serious talkin to me and the bar woman was looking better and better all the time. On the off chance I would see her tonight I prepped Freddy. I got the little dude lookin real purdy. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I trimmed things back and gave him a shave. Freddy was lookin and feelin very good about things. Poor little guy. I got him all dressed up and he didn\'t have anywhere to go. Life sucks. Then you can\'t get it up any more. And then you die. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] |
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#7 |
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Yeah, Ash.
What have you got to lose by furthering Freddie\'s interests? (never mind the whole \'my life\' thing). Doing a \'5\' now is still 5 more than 0. You can drink her to a 7 or 8 anyway. Just turn the lights off. Or leave them on, and look at it as premature ejaculation insurance. You\'ll be doing her a favor too, just to be seen in public (here I am thinking by your dust mites -- no sense risking it with the other one) with the Ash man. If you buy a t-shirt that says, \"Big Gulp\", your friend will get the idea, or at least be \'oralinguistically programmed\'. Tell her you just took your \'poodle to the dog barber\' and want her honest (stressing your openness to communicate) opinion, \"as a woman\" (stroking the female ego. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]) She\'ll get it when she sees you have no dog. This technique works to impress for every question you would ask her, BTW. For example, \"As a woman, what time do you feel (showing interest in her emotions, as well) it is?\" A haircut never looks as good the first few weeks anyway, you know, before the first shampoo. So next time\'s the charm. You probably forgot to shave \'Hairy Pooper\' anyway, didn\'t you? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] |
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#8 |
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I\'m
in almost a similar situation. The fear of the \"good guy\"/\"safe guy\"/shoulder to cry on looms large for me. My strategy was long term and I think I may have been usurped by another suitor. background: A \"target\" of mine is on the verge of separating with her long term bf. This girl is amazing and I actually wasn\'t interested in her at all (I thought she was out of my league) until she started (what seemed to me to be) showing interest in me (leaving special cards on my car, asking me to be her date for the formal, calling me to go out a lot, non-stop kino, long e-mails virtually every day, stopping by my place after midnight etc.) We took a day trip yesterday together and 4 hours away from home, she mentions she was having lots of problems with her bf (as I already knew - but I always change the subject and we rarely if ever talk about her bf) and she was wondering if it was because she had a big crush on someone. That the mere fact that she could have feelings for someone else is a reason to break up. At this point, she drops the name of another guy who we are friends with as a crush (her bf lives across the country btw and is never around.) I had seen her around this guy, but never really at the level of time she spends with me (she\'s around him drinking in groups, never one-on-one, as a majority of my encounters are) I know the whole \"friends\"-trap (not that I am particularly against just being friends) and generally try to avoid these discussions like the plague. But talk about being trapped. I don\'t doubt that she could have a crush on this guy, it\'s been in the back of my head for a while. But in my head I went from just enjoying her company and thinking about something long term to feeling quite competitive with this guy (he\'s another football player, a little smaller than I but kind of a drunk meathead.) Her words and actions seem to be contrary to each other. She may have a crush on both of us, or she may have nothing for me per se (all opinions on this are so welcome right now.) I dont\' know. If she did have a crush on me she wouldn\'t bring it up. 4 hours aware from home with this girl, I was presented with a Hobson\'s choice. Do I just get quiet? (as I do when I am mad or upset), do I call her out on all of her seeming advances towards myself, do I run down this other guy or her boyfriend? All of these could bring no possible good. I did the only thing I could do. I just put on my \"A\" game and ran with it. I took our flirting to the next level. If I\'m going down, I\'m going down swinging and rolling out everything in my arsenal. I was uber-charming and always finding some way to make her laugh or smile. We had a long ride home and there was no way I was going to let this opportunity slip. Anyway, I\'ve been in the LJBF situation before and it always ended badly. My goal is to not end this situation badly. I like her as a friend moreso than any of that other stuff right now and having a killer knock out as a close friend makes me look good to other women. What does piss me off is that I was not interested in this girl whatsoever until she started what seemed to be advances towards me, and now I\'m thinking about her non-stop. The roadtrip was amazing. One of the top 10 best days of my life, we spent 10 hours today driving across the state in my convertible. I don\' think there was a moment of down time, the chemistry between us is damn near amazing, probably one of the top 2 or 3 girls I\'ve been around in terms of chemistry (she complained her cheeks were so sore from smiling so much when we got home.) We used to call this the \"day date\" or \"day test\" where you really find out if you can be with someone if you spend an entire day with them. Although in hindsight, it kind of sucks when you find out you can be with someone on the same day they casually drop that they have a crush on someone else. Just thought I\'d share a non-hit story, I was wearing my pheros/npa mix 3 drops and a gel pack of SOE. I don\'t know if this had any effect. She has always seemed very responsive to both in the past. JDM |
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#9 |
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#10 |
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Wow JDM, what
a seriously frustrating situation. I hope I\'m able to get that far in with my separated Target but at my age (almost dead), I don\'t think I\'d let her run that game on me. She sounds a little chaotic to me. It\'s totally understandable that she and her long distance bf are a done deal. That happens all the time w/college girls moving away to go to school and then losing interest in their first love. Too much distance to sustain the relationship. So figure that one\'s over. The idea that she\'s coming on to you as strong as she is and then starts talking up another guy, especially when you were having such a great time together, spells chaos to me. Or game playing just to F with you. More likely chaos but either way it looks like it\'ll be a bumpy ride for you unless you put on the Super COOL! That would mean making yourself a little less available to her and becoming a challenge for her. Start dialing back your enthusiasm a bit. Don\'t return her calls or mails right away. Next time she calls tell her you can\'t talk right now cuz you\'re tied up and you\'ll have to get back to her and then give it a day or two before you do. From what you\'ve written it looks to me like she\'s starting to drive the car. This is not good and will get you nowhere with her long term or short. Being \"just friends\" is BS. Life is too short and she doesn\'t want \"just friends\" anyway. You\'ll see that as true if she hooks up with the other guy. You\'re friendship will be history within days or you\'ll just turn into the guy she needs to talk to when things aren\'t going all that well with the new guy. F that is what I say. I\'m actually practicing what I\'m preaching here. When I found out my Target didn\'t try to call me when she said she would that was it for me. As much as I would like to get it on with her I\'m not going to do it on those terms. The way I see it I have nothing to lose really except my self respect and I won\'t give that up just to make Freddy happy. On the other hand, playing it Super COOL I have a shot at getting what I want. If I get what I want, which is her responding to me instead of me responding to her, then she\'s going to be a very happy girl. That\'s the way I see things now anyway. Now that I\'m almost dead. Freddy might miss out on this one but I\'d rather have that than come across to her and to myself as some needy little ass kissing/somebody to talk to/shoulder to cry on/wimp. Let her have that conversation with her Mother. If and when we get connected then I\'ll be all those things to her. Except the ass kissing wimp part. |
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#11 |
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I\'ve been doing my best to keep my distance so we don\'t become \"buddies\" per se. I never call her, or
initiate anything with her. We have no \"girl talk time.\" She gets hit on non-stop at the bars, so I usually go in the opposite direction and just ignore her as best I can and make her chase me down to talk. If she\'s talking to a guy, I just let her do her thing and stay away. She called me after we got home once last night to see if I wanted to hit the bars and clubs, but I passed (they were meeting a bunch of friends out, including the aforementioned \"crush\") She then had her friend call me twice to try to get me to come out but I wasn\'t interested. I spent 10 hours with her, there was nothing I could have done to improve my stock more than what I did on the trip and I didn\'t want her to think I was some pushover who gets mildly dumped on or at least put off and then goes running out to the bars to follow her. (keep in mind she won\'t cheat on her bf, so there is no chance of hooking up at this point, at least I think) I wonder if my lack of hitting on her may be frustrating to her and she could have been looking to make me jealous. We were talking about my ex for a while and she does seem to get a little standoffish when I mentioned my ex was a masseuse (she\'s also obsessed with meeting her.) But obviously she knows that we are spending a ton of time together, that I\'m single and that I like her a ridiculous amount. So who does that to a dude? I don\'t know. It doesn\'t seem to be her style, she is such a demure southern girl I think if she felt we were spending too much time together or liked someone else she would try to let me down in a much more \"gentle\" type of way or she\'d be dropping hints like crazy. I\'m gonna stay with this \"let her be initiator\" strategy and we\'ll see what happens. I actually think I may like her more now because she mentioned she likes someone else. For a while I was feeling suffocated because she was coming on so strong (well that and shocked) The \"other guy\" is chasing her with his tongue wagging. He follows her wherever she goes, goes to the gym the same time as her, even goes to church with her now trying to see her. I\'m thinking even if she does like him, his puppy dog chasing technique will wear thin. And her boyfriend comes into town in two weeks, which should be um...interesting. Such weird finals drama. Three close female friends to me have come up this week saying that they are at the point of either get married or break up with their boyfriends and they are all pointing towards breaking up. Two more weeks of tests and this is all people are thinking about. JDM |
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#12 |
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Looks like
you got Super COOL covered with her JDM. I think the way you\'re working it is the only way to go. She may be chasing you a bit cuz it does look like you\'re giving her a challenge. From the sounds of it you might be the only guy to ever do that. It will be interesting to see what happens after the LD bf leaves. Good luck! |
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#13 |
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This
will definitely be a test of the chasing after a girl and trying to do everything and anything with her v. pulling away and letting her chase you (this is getting harder and harder) The one time I\'m actually playing on the other side I hope this doesn\'t blow up in my face and she ends up with the guy. She\'s wanted to talk about breaking up with her bf a handful of times and I usually try to gloss over it and move on. Her point on the trip was that she should break up with her bf because she has found herself having feelings for someone else and that has never happened to her before. I don\'t doubt that she might have feelings for the other guy, she has hung around him a handful of times and definitely flirted with him. I just don\'t think she finished the sentence per se, because based on her actions (and I\'m still interested in hearing any interpretations of actions listed above) there seems to be some genuine interest in myself. JDM |
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#14 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> I hear ya there! But what can you do except play it out the best you know how. Say the other guy gets her by acting needy. Does that mean that you should have acted that way? I know certain things now about women that I didn\'t know when I was younger but the bottom line is they\'re either into you or they\'re not. I\'ve been doing a good job at being cool and staying in my game with my new hot babe Target but it just may be that she isn\'t into me. And that\'s too bad but it\'s cool. You never know what\'s going to happen though. Next week might be a totally different story. Hope so. |
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#15 |
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Not a
happy ending :-) Oh well. She\'s been real distant this week and was hanging all over the dude she had a crush on last night at the bar. I also got bitched at by her friend because \"she has a boyfriend and you are chasing her.\" Apparently the stuff I interpreted as signs of interest just kind of weren\'t...I don\'t know. such drama. I kinda knew I had to move on anyway, her whole situation is already screwed up and it is just going to get even more crazy in the coming weeks. jdm |
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#16 |
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#17 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> Like I said. Life sucks. Then you can\'t get it up any more. And then you die. \"Boyfriends change\", a very wise friend once told me. It\'s a true thing. Especially at your age. At my age it\'s husbands that seem to change. Same thing. Same game. Same mystery. Saw my hot babe Target again today. She said she still planned on calling me. Ah, OK. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] |
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#18 |
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I find that
shaving my arse helps. That way when I do a sh!t it dosnt get all stuck up on my hairs...leaving an unsavory aroma and spoiling my ~mones effect. Seriously though... I\'m a fussy bastard, my mates keep telling me... I have an arrogant outlook, i\'m no Tigereyes but I am the dopest mofo out, no women is out of my league. I\'m not saying I can pull any women, I cant. But I\'m good enough for any bitch. I dont go out to get laid, or to hit on women or whatever. I dont even want to be what you guys call a player. I go out and have fun, get drunk, muck about with my pals...get chucked out of clubs and generally be proper bad boys. Life is fun and great things happen, and sometimes a women out of the ordinary crosses my path. Its all about the attitude |
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#19 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\"> I really do love you, bottle.... and it is not just because of how you shake that thang. |
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#20 |
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Quote:<font class=\"post\">Quote:<font class=\"post\"> [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] |
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